3373: Do You Rely on the Scale for Self-Worth? by Jill Coleman of Jill Fit on Healthy Self Perception

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[00:00:49] Welcome back to Optimal Health Daily, where I read to you from some of the most popular health and fitness blogs out there, with permission from the websites, of course, and always with a bit of my commentary at the end. Alright, and with that, let's get right to today's post as we optimize your life. Do You Rely on the Scale for Self-Worth by Jill Coleman of JillFit.com

[00:01:16] Last year, I was in Minneapolis visiting my friend Jen, and she took me, okay, dragged me, to the Minnesota State Fair. I haven't been to a fair for over a decade, and honestly, I'm a little on the curmudgeon-y side when it comes to long lines and playing games where you hammer a lever to propel a rubber frog into a fake lily pad to earn a huge stuffed donut. I don't know, it's usually not my thing.

[00:01:40] But, Jen has a way of making me do things that I don't really want to do, until later, when I'm happy she insisted I do it. Because, well, it makes for great memories and hilarious recalls. Okay, okay, the fair was fun, I admit it. I ate a turkey leg, and a pork chop on a stick, and a bunch of other things, and went on several rides that made me fear for my life. But, at the end of the night, around 11pm, we still had a few tickets left.

[00:02:07] So, we were meandering around to use them up. We started joking about that game where they have to guess your weight and come within 3 pounds. If they're outside of 3 pounds, you win. A stuffed animal. So, I mentioned how I played that game when I was a teenager. And the guy guessed 15 pounds lower than I actually was. Triumph. It was all that dang muscle that made me appear smaller than what my weight would suggest. So, back to the present.

[00:02:37] 11pm, and we walk by that guy. Jen says, You gotta do it. Get on the scale, and have him guess your weight. Okay, so, I want you to really understand this picture. I had just polished off the last of 3 enormous salty and fatty meat products, drank 3 draft beers at the concert we went to, I had flown all day, so I was retaining a lot of water, and I was with 3 other people, 2 of whom I just met, all of us in our 30s, and well, I haven't weighed myself in a year.

[00:03:06] What would you do? Well, it's hard to describe what happened, but suddenly, I felt like I owed it to old, insecure self to jump on the scale. It seemed like doing so could send a message to my higher self that I was finally over all this body esteem and body obsession stuff. It felt like a big middle finger to relying on the scale or my physique for my self-worth. In general, I don't use the scale to keep me in line with my eating, because how I eat every day is effortless,

[00:03:36] and I rarely fluctuate in size, considering how my clothes continue to fit the same. Growing up with a muscular physique, I'd just gotten used to weighing more than my peers, even in middle school, so I never relied on it much. But this was different. This particular scenario made me feel open and vulnerable. Like, there might not be enough justifications if I got on and weighed more than I thought I did. How would I explain it away? What would I say to my friends?

[00:04:05] What weight, if I saw it, would make me crumble? How could I cover up my anxiety? Lots of questions and a quick internal battle ended up turning into an eff it moment, and I just jumped on. Well, the guy guessed 11 pounds less than what I was. Thank you, muscle. And I weighed exactly what I thought I had for the last year. I won the crap out of that stuffed animal. Give me my Tweety Bird. But I wanted to share this story with you because it was such a small thing,

[00:04:33] yet a relevant moment for me in my journey. I don't weigh myself often, and I'm so grateful that I don't. And that instead, I focus on finding a way to eat and exercise that helps me maintain my size. Because wow, I realized just how much mental anguish and stress I've saved myself over the last year. The outcome is the same. I weighed what I suspected, whether I jumped on the scale daily or not. This is why for me, focusing on behaviors and not outcomes is key.

[00:05:03] It's my daily behaviors that help me maintain, and I chose my behaviors based on what feels good for me, what I enjoy, what's sustainable, and what's the least mentally obsessive or depriving. I don't allow outcomes like my daily weight to dictate how I eat and exercise, because this would be external motivation, and instead, use my internal inspiration, what feels good for me, to drive my day. Mondays used to mean super strict dieting and tons of exercise

[00:05:32] to make up for that bingey weekend I had. And then come Friday, it was back to overindulging as a result of deprivation earlier in the week. In other words, I ate and exercised based on the need to do penance for poor eating, which only kept me in the deprived then binge cycle. Now, I eat the exact same, whether it's Monday, or Saturday, or any day. You just listened to the post titled,

[00:06:02] Do You Rely on the Scale for Self-Worth? by Jill Coleman of jillfit.com, and I'll be right back with my commentary. If you're a small business, the right hire can be make or break. Hoping the right people see your job posting isn't the best growth strategy. When the pressure's on and you need the right hire, this is a job for sponsored jobs. Join the 3.3 million employers worldwide that use Indeed to connect with quality talent that fits their needs. Spend less time searching

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[00:07:00] by saying you heard about Indeed on this podcast. Indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. Dr. Neal Malik here with my commentary. Today's author Jill said something so important I have to say it again. Jill said that for her, focusing on behaviors, not outcomes, is key. And I completely agree with that. In fact, I would say that this rule applies to everyone.

[00:07:29] If we focus only on outcomes or results, we may never reach the goal or the goals we've set for ourselves. Why not? I mean, after all, haven't we learned that actually setting a goal is the first step to reaching it? Well, that's partly true. Having a goal in mind is an important first step. After all, you won't know where you're going if you haven't decided on a destination. But remember, we can get lost on our path to that destination. Or worse yet, we never take that first step

[00:07:59] on our path to that destination. This is where our behaviors become so important. Behaviors are our GPS. They are our map to that destination we've set. If we perform the behaviors needed to get to our destination, then we will get there. It may take time, we may get lost along the way, but so long as we continue the behaviors, we'll eventually get there. Keep following the map. So again, as today's author Jill said, focus on those

[00:08:29] healthy behaviors, not the outcomes. And magically, you'll find that if you stick to your behaviors, you will achieve the outcome you were looking for. All right, that'll do it for today. Thank you so much for listening every day. Thank you for sharing the show with someone. I hope you have a great rest of your day and of course, I'll see you back here tomorrow where your optimal life awaits. We'll be right back. Thank you.