3410: There Is No Such Thing as Happily Ever “After-Photo” by Jessi Kneeland on Embracing Imperfection

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[00:00:59] This is Optimal Health Daily. There is no such thing as Happily Ever After Photo by Jesse Neeland of jesseneeland.com. And I'm your host and narrator, Dr. Neal Malik. Happy Wednesday and welcome back to Optimal Health Daily where I read to you from popular health and fitness blogs to help you optimize your health. And always with a bit of my commentary at the end. Now it's Wednesday and we might be struggling just a little bit to find that extra motivation or inspiration to get through these last couple of days.

[00:01:29] And so like I do every Wednesday, I want to share a bit of inspiration with you. So here we go. Quote, To uncover your true potential, you must first find your own limits and then have the courage to blow past them. Peekaboo Street Alright, now that we're in the right frame of mind, let's get to today's post and start optimizing your life.

[00:01:54] There is no such thing as Happily Ever After Photo by Jesse Neeland of jesseneeland.com. The internet is chock full of sexy progress pics. There is no shortage of shocking before and after photos to show off people's astonishing fat loss and drastic body transformations, usually with a sad before and a happy after photo. I personally use progress pics and before and after photos to track and share my clients' results

[00:02:24] because they're a valuable tool and I like how they take the emphasis off the number on the scale. That said, I think these photos can be dangerous. Forgetting for a second how incredibly easy it is to fake a nice little before and after, I think the problem is in the message that the photos send in terms of goal setting. They somehow give off the impression that there can be a happy ending to your fitness journey. They seem to say, hey, if you work hard and get in amazing shape,

[00:02:53] then you can live happily ever after photo too. But here's the problem with that. There is no end to your fitness journey. Not to mention making the assumption that people who reach their after photo status are actually happy is devastatingly false, as Negar Fanuni shows us on greatest.com. Many of you have probably heard me wax poetic about achieving sustainable results. I talk about putting into place healthy habits and practices

[00:03:21] that you can maintain as a baseline over a lifetime. When a person is committed to living an active, healthy, vibrant life, and they put these practices into place, then no matter what life throws at them, they will be able to always hover around a fit and healthy set point. But do not misunderstand me. There is no end. Your body is endlessly changing. Your metabolism is constantly reacting to what you throw at it.

[00:03:50] You are constantly aging. Your cells are constantly overturning. And your priorities will be constantly shifting, even if it's just a teeny bit at a time. Contrary to a lot of people in my industry, I do not believe fitness should be your number one priority. Not for very long, anyway. In my ideal world, everyone makes it the priority for just long enough to kickstart a nice, easy, sustainable fitness habit

[00:04:17] that suits them until they need to check in again and make adjustments. But that's not what people want. People want results with a fairytale ending. Imagine the bride whose goal is be in the best shape of her life for her wedding day. She wants a photo that will make her husband swoon, her friends jealous, and her grandkids dumbstruck. She wants to have it all. But I've trained a ton of brides, and I have a secret. Not a single one of them was able to maintain wedding day shape

[00:04:47] for very long after her wedding. Getting into crazy shape using unsustainable habits like strict caloric restriction and tons of workouts always leads to unsustainable results. There's a big difference between goals that are attainable and those that are sustainable. In other words, just because you can doesn't mean you should. Granted, sometimes it requires getting into crazy, drastic, after photo goal shape

[00:05:14] in order to finally let go of the whole notion that after photo shape will make you happy. Because it won't. Even in your perfect after photo shape, you are still just a perfectly imperfect human. Even fitness models on the morning of a photo shoot are often just cranky, dehydrated, imperfect humans. Photos don't jiggle, don't dimple, and don't bloat. Photos don't get a post-workout muscle pump,

[00:05:41] don't swell or puff up in response to carbs or salt or water, and don't fluctuate with their monthly cycles. But we do. Now, I'm going to throw myself under the bus for this post because I can only really use myself to make this point. I'm pretty lean, but my life is such lately that I get an extremely inconsistent amount of sleep, recovery, hydration, and nutrition. Depending on these factors, some days I look lean and defined,

[00:06:09] and some days I look puffy and washed out. Often, this is the result of diet. I'm looking at UFA, my ability to properly hydrate, and my sleep and workout schedule. But my point here is this. My body fluctuates every day. So does yours. If it was my priority to keep myself looking a certain way consistently, I would get more sleep, turn down weeknight drinks with friends, and definitely stop eating things like Vietnamese noodle soup.

[00:06:37] But alas, it's been the best summer of my life, and I couldn't care less. So why does this matter? Because with Instagram culture, people see photos of me and think I walk around in perfect photo-ready shape all the time. And folks often tell me that their goal is to have my abs or whatever. I want to show you that the happy ending you're setting out for doesn't exist. Yeah, I'm fit, I feel great, and I love my body. But day-to-day, sometimes even hour-to-hour,

[00:07:07] that stuff changes. And just because I post one photo of myself from one moment in my day, usually on Instagram with a nice flattering filter, doesn't mean I was in after photo shape the rest of my day. I posted some before and afters that I took a few days ago. The first set of photos were taken right after I ate, showing a rounded belly, and in probably the worst overhead lighting ever. The second set of photos were taken just a few hours later,

[00:07:36] showing flat abs and muscle definition, in great lighting, on an empty stomach, and right after I worked out. I was not pushing my belly out or sucking it in for either photo, though I was flexing my abs a bit in the second ones. Both are me. Both were a part of my day. There is no end point. We are constantly in flux. I think the way we currently view goal setting and progress is problematic because it resists the flux.

[00:08:06] Resisting what is leads to disappointment and resentment. We must embrace the process in order to find peace and satisfaction. Not just the process of getting in shape, but the process of being a person. So how about we stop aiming for a rockin' after photo as a goal, or for any photo of any sort for that matter? What if our goals sounded like this? Put sustainable, healthy habits into place, stay open to adjusting them as necessary,

[00:08:35] and let go of the outcome. We are going to fluctuate and change moment to moment forever. It's all you, and it's always changing, and that's perfect. You just listened to the post titled, There is no such thing as happily ever after photo by Jesse Neeland of jesseneeland.com, and I'll be right back with my commentary. If you're a small business, the right hire can be make or break. Hoping the right people

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[00:10:33] Dr. Neil here for my commentary. So Jesse is absolutely right. Our desire to be healthy really shouldn't have an end date or an end goal. It's a lifestyle. You continue the behavior for life or as long as you possibly can. Oh and when it comes to taking photos you should try this at home. Wearing minimal clothing take a photo of yourself with lots of overhead lighting meaning the light is above your head.

[00:11:02] Then find a light that you can put on the floor down in front of you. Make sure that light shines nice and brightly up towards you. Then take the photo. Compare and contrast the differences. I guarantee you will look better in the overhead lighting. That's why so many of these photo shoots incorporate overhead lighting. It brings out these wonderful shadows that make you look super defined. Very rarely do you see photo shoots where lights are placed on the ground and are aiming upwards at the body.

[00:11:33] Now back to this idea of lifestyle. A pair of very well-known psychologists developed a model to explain human behavior that incorporates this very idea. The idea that changing our habits isn't about reaching some ultimate destination but rather something we need to continue and maintain for life. Now if you've ever taken an introductory psychology class you've likely heard of these psychologists or their model at least for explaining behavior. If you haven't don't worry about it I'm going to explain.

[00:12:03] The psychologists names are James Prochaska and Carlo Di Clemente. They created something called the trans-theoretical model. This model has many components to it I'm not going to try and explain the entire thing right now but based on our discussion of health as a lifelong pursuit this model says that starting a new health behavior is definitely a win but maintaining that new behavior is truly the key. Maintaining that behavior and finding ways to motivate yourself to continue

[00:12:33] that healthy behavior for life is what it's all about. Alright that'll do it for another edition of Optimal Health Daily. Thank you so much for listening and I'll see you back here tomorrow where optimal life awaits.