3411: Making Peace with Pain by Rachel Shanken of Mind Body Wise on Emotional Healing

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[00:00:57] iPhone 11 or later required. This is Optimal Health Daily, Making Peace with Pain by Rachel Trotta of mindbodywise.com. And I'm Dr. Neal Malik reading you some of the most popular health and fitness blogs out there with permission from the websites of course, and with a bit of my commentary at the end. Now don't forget, we have a bunch of shows where we narrate articles for you. Just search for Optimal Living Daily wherever you're hearing this to find all of them.

[00:01:26] And with that, let's get right to our next article and continue optimizing your life. Making Peace with Pain by Rachel Trotta of mindbodywise.com. You know it, and I know it. Pain is no fun. If given the choice, it would be very difficult to turn down a life of a pain-free existence, right?

[00:01:52] However, there is no magic healing wand. Sorry. And this may sound nuts, but our pain can offer us powerful and often profound life lessons if we allow ourselves to be receptive to its teachings. Whether pain is physical or emotional, it's in our DNA to resist and avoid pain, consciously and unconsciously. We are born with a built-in mechanism to alert us when something hurts.

[00:02:19] And kind of like a fire alarm, when we hear it or feel it, we know something isn't right, and we need to evacuate immediately. This is thanks to the protective nature of our central nervous system, which keeps us safe and on the lookout for danger. Yet, it's also sometimes a little like a smothering overprotective caregiver. However, we have some power over our central nervous system, the ability to change how we respond to the alerts of our central nervous system,

[00:02:47] and the ability to change our relationship with our pain. Here are a few ways to work with our pain, instead of working against it. 1. Get present In order to make any change in how we relate to ourselves, we must first get present to what's happening in each moment. Checking in and asking ourselves, what is actually happening? And getting specific with the nuanced sensation of the mind and body.

[00:03:14] Not, what happened yesterday or what we think we will feel tomorrow is a powerful tool in working with our pain. 2. Remove negative labeling If we are labeling our experience in ways that are negative, then we are potentially perpetuating pain. For example, if we repetitively label our pain like this, This pain is unbearable. Ouch! Ouch! I can't handle it. Our bodies will likely believe our brains and make it so,

[00:03:44] even when we aren't feeling the unbearableness of our pain. Labeling often shuts down the opportunity for exploration, which then doesn't allow us to be present to our moment-to-moment experience, which is always shifting. See number one. 3. Breathe consciously Conscious breathing is the language of our central nervous system. Deep, slow breaths through the nose can send signals to our central nervous system that

[00:04:12] all is okay and safe in the body. These breaths can further help to calm our experience of pain. Think of conscious breath like medicine for the body. In moments of discomfort, we can use the breath to soften the pain and help ourselves to calm the drama in our minds about the sensation of the pain. 4. Halt anticipation If we have a potentially painful experience coming up in the future, like a root canal, or physical therapy for an injury,

[00:04:41] or an emotionally charged experience, our tendency might be to anticipate the pain we are going to feel. However, we have no idea how we are going to feel, because the event hasn't happened yet. And even if we experienced an event just like it in the past, our experience this time isn't guaranteed to be identical. Shake off the anticipation and go back to presence. See number one. 5. Appreciate our ability

[00:05:09] Our bodies are pretty incredible when you think about it. The fact that our bodies sometimes know things before our minds do, think of touching a hot stove. The ouch comes before we realize what we have done. And that our bodies alert and protect us from danger is all pretty amazing. As strange as it may sound, when pain arises, if we can honestly and wholeheartedly thank our bodies for successfully alerting us, we open ourselves up to a place of receptivity,

[00:05:38] which usually helps to alleviate some pain. 6. What we resist persists In considering number 5 that I just mentioned, being receptive is essential in pain management. If we resist our pain physically and emotionally, it actually persists more intensely. Think about a winter day, when we brace our face and tense our shoulders against the harsh winds. The cold only feels worse and more painful when we do that.

[00:06:06] When we soften our faces and drop our shoulders down our backs, the cold may still penetrate, but the experience of it is much less intense than when we go into resistant, protective mode. 7. Celebrate small wins Change and healing takes time. What often keeps us motivated and optimistic is seeing results. Each time we notice progress, no matter how minimal, it's important that we affirm it.

[00:06:35] If yesterday was a day of so much back pain that we could barely take a step, and today we are able to walk from the couch to the front door, that's progress, even if our couch is very close to our front door. See it, name it, and celebrate it. And 8. Remember resilience We as human beings are built to be incredibly robust. We have bodies that can often heal themselves.

[00:07:02] We can withstand a lot of painful physical and emotional traumas, often emerging even stronger and more resilient than we were in the first place. When we are healing pain, it's important that we trust in our resilience and that we remember we are hearty beings that are built to last. So, here's to being built to last. You just listened to the post titled, Making Peace with Pain,

[00:07:30] by Rachel Trotta of mindbodywise.com. And I'll be right back with my commentary. If you're a small business, the right hire can be make or break. Hoping the right people see your job posting isn't the best growth strategy. When the pressure's on and you need the right hire, this is a job for sponsored jobs. Join the 3.3 million employers worldwide that use Indeed to connect with quality talent that fits their needs. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates

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[00:08:59] is pick your perfect floor. Start your carpet project today at the Home Depot. How doers get more done. Exclusions apply for licenses at homedepot.com slash license numbers. Dr. Neal Malik here for my commentary. I am so guilty of number four. I always like to anticipate the outcomes of things. I'm what psychologists might call a forecaster. For example, maybe I have to call and speak to a store manager because their service at the store didn't meet my expectations.

[00:09:29] Before I make the call, I'll try and predict how the conversation will go. I'll think to myself, okay, first I'll say this. Then the manager will probably respond like this. And if they say that, then I'll respond with, and I'll use all of this mental energy on trying to picture how this conversation will go. You know what I've learned after these countless hours of imaginary practice? I've learned that no conversation ever goes the way I predicted. So why do I do it?

[00:09:59] Well, it's a way to spare myself from pain. I know it doesn't quite make sense, but it's a coping mechanism. I'm trying to save myself from possible discomfort, from an uncomfortable conversation when I have to complain about service. Instead, I need to be okay with the present, with the not knowing, and embrace the good and not so good experiences. It's kind of like when we talk about our muscles getting tears, micro tears in them

[00:10:28] when we're working out, when we're lifting weights. Remember, those micro tears hurt, especially after a couple of days, but once they heal, the muscles are bigger and stronger. That's what that pain was for. So if we think ourselves kind of like our muscles, after some pain, we can come back better and stronger. All right, that'll do it for today. Thank you so much for listening every day, and I'll be back here tomorrow for our usual Friday Q&A.

[00:10:58] So definitely stay tuned for that where your optimal life awaits.