3594: Habit Relapse: What To Do If You Fall From Your Diet or Good Habits by Leo Babauta of Zen Habits on Self-Compassion

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[00:00:58] This is Optimal Health Daily. Habit Relapse. What to do if you fall from your diet or good habits. By Leo Babauta of zenhabits.net. And I'm Dr. Neal Malik, your host and narrator. Hey there, happy middle of the week Wednesday, and welcome back to Optimal Health Daily, where I simply read to you from the best health and fitness blogs for free. And on Fridays, I answer your questions. You can send in your question by going to

[00:01:26] oldpodcast.com slash ask, or just send a question directly to health at oldpodcast.com. Now, today is Wednesday, and like I do every Wednesday, I like to share a little bit of inspiration with you. So with that, here we go. Quote, Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does. William James. All right, and with that, let's get right to today's post and start optimizing your life.

[00:01:59] Habit Relapse. What to do if you fall from your diet or good habits. By Leo Babauta of zenhabits.net. A few people have written me recently about falling off their good habits, a relapse after months of healthy eating, or getting derailed from good habits they've been forming, like exercise or writing. It's discouraging to fall off your diet or good habits. And you get to a point where you don't even want to think about it. So what should you do?

[00:02:28] How do you deal with a relapse? To be honest, there's no easy answer. I've failed and restarted a number of habits. And now I think of relapsing as just another part of the process. We're constantly learning about ourselves as we change our habits, which is the real point of habit change. It's self-learning, not self-improvement or self-discipline. We learn about our minds, about feelings of guilt and frustration, and about coping with these feelings.

[00:02:56] There are no easy answers, but I'm going to share some things you might try. 1. Pause to reflect One of the biggest problems is when we don't even want to acknowledge our relapse. We avoid thinking about it. So the first step is to take a slight pause in your day and reflect on where you are. You were doing great, then you slipped up. It could have been for a lot of different reasons, but just know that you're not alone, that we all slip up,

[00:03:24] and that the forces that we're facing can often be too great for us at our weakest points. That's okay. Okay. Reflect on this, and know that it's not the end of the world. 2. Acknowledge your feelings It can be difficult to get off track, and we can feel like failures, feel discouraged, feel frustrated with ourselves, disappointed, sad, alone, tired, or angry. Sometimes all of these feelings at once. It's okay to feel these things.

[00:03:54] We often try to avoid thinking about these feelings, but just for a minute, give yourself space to feel them, to really see them inside yourself, and accept these feelings as part of your experience. 3. Give yourself compassion If you're experiencing some of these difficult feelings, after acknowledging them, try giving them some love. Imagine if a friend were feeling pain. Wouldn't you comfort your friend, give them a hug, listen to them, and be compassionate?

[00:04:23] We deserve to treat ourselves with that same love and compassion. Listen to your mind's difficulties. Wish for your own happiness. Give yourself a virtual or real hug. Give yourself some love. It's okay to feel these things, and it's okay to wish for an end to your difficulties. 4. Focus on the intention Why did you start the good habit in the first place? Was it to nurture yourself, give yourself the gift of good health, allow yourself creative expression through your writing,

[00:04:53] or painting, music, or was it to help others? These intentions are important to remember, to help yourself get back on track. You got derailed because you forgot your intention, or other priorities became more important. Now decide whether your intention for this habit is important enough to devote some time to. If so, keep your intention in mind as you get started again. 5. Take the smallest step With this good intention in mind,

[00:05:22] what is the next step you can take? Can you make it even easier? For example, instead of overhauling your entire diet, can you eat one carrot? One apple? Instead of doing a weekly workout plan, can you go for a 5 minute walk? Can you do one push-up? Taking the smallest step helps you reaffirm your commitment to yourself and your intention. Then you focus on the next tiny step. 6. There is no past, only this step.

[00:05:52] All the relapses, all the failures, all the troubles, these now exist only in your head. Instead of dwelling on them, try focusing on the next tiny step. What is that like? Try to fully experience it and see that in this moment, this small action is not difficult. In this small action, you are okay. Let go of everything else that's happened and be here with your intention and your current action. 7. Approach the learning with curiosity

[00:06:23] We often think, oh, I have no discipline or I suck at this or some other thought about ourselves or about the new habit we would like to form. These are preconceived ideas about ourselves or the habits. Instead, try going into the next small step with an open mind, not knowing how it will be. This new habit or old one revisited is not a robotic action you're trying to create in yourself, but rather a part of a learning process

[00:06:51] where you learn more about yourself. In this spirit of learning, approach the process with curiosity, openness, and not knowing. See what it's like. Try to appreciate every little detail about the habit you can notice. I don't pretend that this is a quick fix solution, but these elements often have very good effects for me. I'm not perfect when I do these steps by any means, just as I'm not perfect at doing my habits. But in the process of learning about myself,

[00:07:21] in the failure, and restarting, and finding out, the habit I'm doing in all its messiness is absolutely perfect. You just listened to the post titled Habit Relapse. What to Do If You Fall From Your Diet or Good Habits by Leo Babauta of zenhabits.net and I'll be right back with my commentary. Shaq here. What's it like to buy a car from Carvana 100% online and get it delivered to your door? Let me tell you.

[00:07:51] Your car is here, Mr. Shaq. Thank you, Mr. Carvana guy. Can't wait to take it for a spin. Only the best for you, Mr. Shaq. Hey, have you always been so big, tall, and handsome? Not always. I was 6'10 once. Seven days to love it or return it, Mr. Shaq. Not that I would. You never do. No, I never do. So buy your car today on Carvana. Delivery fees may apply. See our seven-day return policy at Carvana.com. Pink Panther is here. Coach and Spotify are teaming up to bring music and style together and they want you

[00:08:21] to be part of it. Grab your friends and head to the Tabby Tour, hitting cities around the country with live performances from special artists, exclusive experiences, and personalized products. And discover custom playlists on Spotify, built just for you based on who you are and how you listen. Live your story with Coach. Learn more at Coach.com. Dr. Neal Malik here with my commentary. I'm going to use an analogy to sum up Leo's amazing article.

[00:08:49] Imagine this scenario along with me. We recently got a new job. It's our first day and we have to drive to get there. We leave home in the morning, on time, prepared, and excited to start our new job. We're maybe even a little nervous. We begin the drive, but after about 10 minutes, we realize we made a wrong turn. At this point, we have some decisions to make. We made a wrong turn. We could, now,

[00:09:18] feel badly for ourselves, give up, sit in our car, and tell ourselves, well, this is it. I made a wrong turn. I guess I'm not going to show up to my new job. Or, we could say, whoops, no big deal, no time to panic. I'll just turn around and get right back on the road. Which one will you choose? I think the answer seems obvious, right? We wouldn't give up on an important goal, like a new job, just because we made

[00:09:47] a wrong turn somewhere. And I'm sure you saw right through this analogy, but the new job represents that goal, or that habit we're trying to achieve. An important health goal. The wrong turn is like the relapses Leo was talking about in today's article. A relapse doesn't mean we completely give up on an important health goal. Just like if we make one wrong turn when we're driving, we don't give up on our destination. Instead, we acknowledge

[00:10:17] the mistake, get back on the path toward our health goal, and move on. All right, that'll do it for today. I hope you have a great Wednesday. Thank you so much for listening, and I'll be back here tomorrow as usual. So I'll see you there where your optimal life awaits.