2982: Thanksgiving is Good For Your Mental Health by Tamsen Firestone of Psych Alive on Benefits of Gratitude

[00:00:00] This is Optimal Living Daily Episode 2982 Thanksgiving is Good For Your Mental Health by Tamsen Firestone with PsychAlive.org and I'm Justin Malik Happy Thanksgiving if you're listening in real time. Welcome back or welcome for the first time if you're new here

[00:00:17] This is where I read an article every day of the year to help you and me have a little more happiness, inspiration or motivation in our day and And today's article mostly talks about a partner in your life

[00:00:29] But if you don't have one this works if you substitute that with a friend or family member Even business partner you name it so something to keep in mind But with that let's get right to it as we optimize your life

[00:00:47] Thanksgiving is Good For Your Mental Health by Tamsen Firestone with PsychAlive.org Research shows that expressing gratitude is good for your mental health It increases happiness and decreases depression. It also enhances empathy and reduces aggression It promotes social interactions and fosters new relationships

[00:01:12] Gratitude counteracts other toxic emotions such as envy, resentment, victimization and cynicism. It not only reduces stress But research indicates that it may also play a major role in overcoming trauma All good things but one more psychological benefit of expressing gratitude is that it undermines the critical inner voice

[00:01:34] And helps to weaken its influence on you. And finally gratitude helps cultivate love Gratitude interrupts your critical inner voice The critical inner voice has a mission to keep your defenses intact However, these defenses that once served a purpose in childhood are no longer necessary in your adult life

[00:01:57] In fact they are now limiting you and inhibiting your ability to have close relationships Your critical inner voice warns you that you are in danger of being hurt and need to protect yourself It discourages you from being vulnerable and trusting other people. In intimate relationships

[00:02:16] It advises you that you're being taken advantage of and victimized by your partner It undermines you with thoughts like she never considers what you like When was the last time he got you a gift? You give much more than you receive All she's interested in is your money

[00:02:33] Don't believe for one minute that he cares about your feelings or you're the one who always calls But when you focus on what you're thankful for you start to become mindful of all that you're being given

[00:02:46] As you shift away from negative thinking and toward being appreciative your critical inner voice loses strength actively acknowledging gratitude Interrupts the destructive ways the critical inner voice is coaching you Gratitude helps cultivate love Being thankful for what you're being given encourages love between two people in

[00:03:10] Daring to love the act of loving describes how to acknowledge Express and respond with gratitude. There are three simple steps that make up the act of loving one acknowledging and accepting your partner's loving actions to being grateful and expressing your gratitude and

[00:03:30] Three giving back with actions of your own as we develop the ability to accept love with dignity and return love with appreciation We find ourselves actively involved in being in love rather than falling into a passive state of fantasizing about being in love number one

[00:03:50] acknowledging and accepting your partner's loving actions The first step is to recognize and accept the loving actions coming from your partner This is much more difficult than it sounds because most of us lack full awareness of what is given to us

[00:04:05] We tend to see our partner in terms of what we want from him or her or what we should be getting from him or her To gain perspective step back from your partner as you stand apart Get a feeling for yourself as a separate independent person

[00:04:21] perfectly capable of functioning on your own the world Doesn't owe you anything and in spite of life's disappointments and frustrations You are a victim of no one. You are just you alone Now take a look at your partner apart from you separate from anything you may expect

[00:04:41] Want or demand from your partner separate from any role your partner may be fulfilling in relation to you Like you your partner is a person alone Once you're able to experience yourself and your partner from this vantage point seeing the two of you as two discreet individuals

[00:05:00] Look at what your partner is giving you. Don't look for grandiose gestures of love and devotion Don't look for what you think your partner ought to be doing for you Look for real everyday acts of thoughtfulness sensitivity and kindness

[00:05:17] Look for unique acts of giving that are an expression of your partner's nature and sensitivity to your nature partners hurt each other by overlooking simple acts of love However, when you acknowledge your partner's acts of love you accept the love your partner is offering to you

[00:05:35] number two being grateful and expressing your gratitude Once you've acknowledged and accepted what your partner is giving you The next step is to be grateful and express your gratitude to your partner But don't rely on the occasional extravagant or effusive expression of gratitude

[00:05:54] Instead express your gratitude to your partner whenever you experience tender feelings of thankfulness Because he or she has extended kindness sensitivity or generosity to you and number three giving back with actions of your own

[00:06:11] Once you've acknowledged accepted felt gratitude and expressed your gratitude for what your partner is giving you The final step is to give back to your partner But giving back to your partner is about being attuned to your partner as a person separate from you and your relationship

[00:06:29] Giving back to your partner involves first of all your awareness that you are two different people with your own individual traits interests and desires and it's this awareness that attunes you to what your partner personally wants and needs

[00:06:44] therefore the final step is the act of responding to your partner's personal needs with actions that are highly sensitive Because this personal level of giving is such a profound expression of yourself The more wholeheartedly you give back to your partner the more fully you realize who you are

[00:07:02] Expressing your love in this manner enriches both your lives Expressing gratitude will enhance your life improve your relationships and increase your overall sense of well-being Giving things is a healthy habit that is worth practicing every day Not just on the fourth Thursday in November

[00:07:21] You just listen to the post titled Thanksgiving is good for your mental health by Tamsen Firestone with Psychalive.org They get a Tamsen and the team at Psychalive a nice timely article for being thankful I think this is easier said than done

[00:07:40] But a really good reminder no matter the relationship whether it be partner or spouse friend Family member and so on it can be really easy to forget that they're a completely different person with different needs and wants And different ways of expressing their love and or gratitude

[00:07:59] Reminds me of that book about love languages There are different ways that people express their love the popular book about it mentions five in particular words of affirmation quality time physical touch acts of service and receiving gifts for me personally

[00:08:18] I don't care all that much about gifts. They're nice and all but to me not very important But that doesn't mean I should roll my eyes or ignore and not be grateful if someone gives me a gift should be Appreciated because maybe that person never gets gifts

[00:08:35] It feels like it's very special to give and receive them We're all different and have our own ways of showing appreciation and also which of these we like to receive will vary too So something to keep in mind especially for Thanksgiving

[00:08:50] And with that have a very happy Thanksgiving if you're listening in real time and celebrating Have a great rest of your day, and I'll see you tomorrow for the Friday show where your optimal life awaits