2988: The Main Reason Changing Your Life is Tough by Leo Babauta of Zen Habits on Habit Transformation

[00:00:00] This is Optimal Living Daily, Episode 2988 The Main Reason Changing Your Life is Tough by Leo Babauta of Zen Habits on Net And I'm Justin Malik We're gonna get right to it as we optimize your life

[00:00:18] The Main Reason Changing Your Life is Tough by Leo Babauta of Zen Habits on Net Many of us have things we'd like to change Our exercise and diet habits, procrastination and productivity habits Patience and mindfulness habits Quitting bad habits To cluttering and finances Reading and learning

[00:00:40] And doing all the things we want to do in life But very often, we fall short of our hopes What's the problem? Why do we struggle with these changes? There are a lot of reasons, some of them external

[00:00:53] But the main reason that it's difficult to stick to these changes Is actually internal The main reason changing our lives is hard We get in our own way How? Our thinking is the problem See if you've done any of these

[00:01:09] You mess up or procrastinate on your habit changes And then are harsh or critical on yourself It's time to do what you set out to do But then you put it off and look for something easier You go to distractions You're doing something uncomfortable

[00:01:23] But then look for a way out and tell yourself you can't do it When you're doing something hard, you stress out about it Setting unreasonable expectations and agonizing about whether you can do it You fantasize about how this will turn out when you meet your goal

[00:01:39] But then worry and stress out about whether you will hit that goal You feel bad about yourself, doubt yourself, beat yourself up And this prevents you from even taking action I think most of us have done these at some time or another

[00:01:54] Often without even being aware of it We get in our own way and make things more difficult Than they already are Why we get in our own way Why do we do this if we're just making things harder?

[00:02:08] These are old patterns built up over the years that are coping mechanisms for dealing with difficulty The reasons we go to these patterns? We have lots of uncertainty or discomfort about the task or project

[00:02:21] So we look for a way out and start to rationalize and look for something easier We create high expectations Our goals, ideals and fantasies And then fear not meeting those expectations More uncertainty We don't believe in ourselves because we doubt whether we're good enough to do it

[00:02:39] That's uncertainty about ourselves And being harsh on ourselves for procrastinating or messing up Is a way to deal with the uncertainty that arises when we do these things So some kind of uncertainty arises about ourselves About how we just procrastinated About how this project will go

[00:02:58] About how to go about doing this task And about whether we'll meet our goal Then we react to this uncomfortable feeling of uncertainty by being reactive By being critical of ourselves stressing out about it Procrastinating and seeking distraction or rationalizing why we should quit

[00:03:18] These are old patterns how we cope with the discomfort of uncertainty It doesn't feel good to take these actions But it's a natural reaction to the scary feelings of uncertainty There's more comfort and certainty in our distractions Running away, self-criticism, harshness

[00:03:36] And stories about not being able to do this The discomfort of uncertainty is what we want to get away from We get in our own way by trying to get away from feelings of uncertainty Getting out of our own way

[00:03:52] So how do we stop getting in our own way? By getting out of our way When we notice that we're procrastinating, seeking distraction, being harsh or critical Rationalizing quitting or putting something off Stressing out about not being able to do something

[00:04:08] We should pause, just notice what we're doing Then think about how we're just making things harder We can make things more effortless by not reacting to the uncertainty Instead, notice the feeling of uncertainty in your body

[00:04:24] See that it's there and that you want to get away from it or get control of it Stay with it and see that it's just a feeling nothing to panic about In fact, by practicing the mindfulness of staying with discomfort and uncertainty

[00:04:38] We can learn to be comfortable with uncertainty As we do this, we can just turn our back to the task and act Just simply be with the task and just take action Just do If we're procrastinating with a writing task, we can just stop running

[00:04:55] And instead allow ourselves to feel the uncertainty Then just start writing without worrying about running from uncertainty If we're beating ourselves up because we haven't done a good job sticking to a plan We can notice that we're being harsh

[00:05:10] And instead allow ourselves to feel the uncertainty about ourselves Then just start again on the plan letting go of what happened and starting afresh without stress If we're stressing out about not meeting a goal or expectation

[00:05:24] We can notice that we have uncertainty about this goal and just stay with it Then just take action on the goal without worrying about the expectation Notice the uncertainty and our desire to run Stay with it and don't run Then act with gratitude and a smile

[00:05:44] We don't have to get in our way Things can be no big deal You just listened to the post titled The main reason changing your life is tough By Leo Babada of Zen Habits, Tan Net Big thanks to Leo If you heard this one and thought to yourself

[00:06:04] Easier said than done I hear you, I don't think this is a quick fix And pretty much everything we talk about here isn't a quick fix Takes a lot of reminders, thought, practice and so on Also why this podcast is daily and going on for years now

[00:06:22] I think the main message here is mindfulness and awareness First being aware that we're getting in our own way And most importantly being able to catch it when it's happening in the moment And then his recommendation after that is to truly notice the feelings and sit with it

[00:06:40] Contemplate it before jumping on to the next task It's really a meditative exercise Becoming aware, noticing and letting go over and over again Which if you've listened to this show for a while now You know I find that helpful and do recommend this sort of practice

[00:06:57] But if you're struggling with this I'd say take it one step at a time Work on that awareness first Which I do think is better if you're listening to this show daily The more you can be aware of that brief moment of discomfort or distraction arising It's better

[00:07:13] So be on the lookout today Have a great rest of your day Thank you for being here and listening And for following or subscribing to the show And I'll be back tomorrow where your optimal life awaits