2995: Stop Comparing Your Life. Start Living It by Joshua Becker of Becoming Minimalist on Living Your Own Life

[00:00:00] It's a minimalist Monday edition of Optimal Living Daily Episode 2995, Stop Comparing Your Life, Start Living It by Joshua Becker of BecomingMinimalist.com and I'm Justin Malik. Hope you're having a great start to your week if you're listening in real time.

[00:00:15] This is where I read to you from some of the best blogs I can find and get permission from. So with that, let's get right to today's minimalist Monday post and start optimizing your life. Stop Comparing Your Life, Start Living It by Joshua Becker of BecomingMinimalist.com Quote,

[00:00:38] Envy is ever joined with the comparing of a man's self and where there is no comparison, no envy. Sir Francis Bacon Most of us understand the foolishness of trying to compare ourselves to others. We would readily admit that no good ever comes from it.

[00:00:58] Yet, whether we are comparing our home size, paycheck, physical features or any number of measurable and even unmeasurable things, we do it all the time. But there are inherent problems. Number one, we most often compare the wrong things.

[00:01:15] Because we can most easily compare the things that we can objectively measure, we live in a world that is great at measuring and comparing externals. Somewhere along the way, we decided that we could determine who is living a more valuable life

[00:01:30] by comparing clothes, cars, homes, paychecks, beauty or Twitter followers. But externals are rarely a good measure. Net worth has never been a good indicator of self-worth. Number two, we always compare our worst with their best.

[00:01:51] Comparing your life with others is always a losing proposition because there will always be people who appear to be better off than you and seemingly live the perfect life. After all, we always compare the worst of what we know about ourselves

[00:02:05] to the best assumptions that we make about others. Be advised, their life is never as perfect as your mind makes it out to be. Number three, there is no end to the comparison game. There's an infinite number of categories upon which you can compare yourself

[00:02:24] and an almost infinite number of people to compare yourself to. Once you start down that road, you will never, ever find an end. Number four, life isn't graded on a curve. How you measure up against others holds absolutely no importance in your life anyway.

[00:02:42] It simply makes no difference. The goal of life is not to be better than 50% of the other people on the planet. The goal of life is to be the best that you can possibly be. Number five, comparison puts your focus on the wrong person.

[00:03:00] You can control one life, yours. When we consistently compare ourselves to others, we waste precious energy focusing on other people's lives rather than our own. And number six, comparison robs you of joy. Comparing yourself to others will always cause you to regret what you aren't

[00:03:20] rather than allow you to enjoy life as who you are. It will always steal the joy and happiness that is within your reach and place it just outside of your reach instead. Many a contented life has been stolen by the unhealthy habit of comparing ourselves to others.

[00:03:38] Comparing ourselves to others will always rob us of gratitude, joy and fulfillment. But even more than that, it prevents us from fully living our lives. It calls us to envy someone else's life and seek theirs rather than ours. It robs us of our most precious possession, life itself.

[00:03:57] And while the temptation to compare may never be completely eliminated, there are certainly some practical steps that we can take to move past it. How can we stop comparing ourselves to others? Here are some helpful steps. Number one, recognize the inherent problems in comparing yourself to another.

[00:04:17] Take a good look at the previous list. Why would we want any habit in our life that promotes feelings of inferiority or consistently promotes envy, competition and strife with no end in sight? Sometimes just a reminder of the foolishness contained in the habit

[00:04:35] is the most important step in overcoming it. Number two, celebrate who you are. There are many wonderful things about your life. You're an artist or a business person or a mother or a good listener or a generous soul. You have much to celebrate and are entirely unique.

[00:04:55] Any comparison between you and another person is like comparing apples to oranges. They aren't living your life, you are. Therefore, you should expect the results to be completely different. Number three, focus inward. Value, generosity, humility, goodness, kindness and love begin to focus on developing the

[00:05:19] inward qualities of a simplified life and the externals will lose their beauty. And the quicker we find beauty on the inside, the sooner we'll stop comparing things on the outside, skin deep beauty, paychecks or power. Number four, realize life is not a competition.

[00:05:38] There may be times when competition is appropriate but life is not one of them. We've all been thrown together at this exact moment on this exact planet and the sooner we stop competing against others to win, the faster we can start working together to figure it out.

[00:05:56] Number five, remember that nobody is perfect. We live in a society that glamorizes perfection. Consider that magazine racks are full of models and celebrities with perfect faces telling one-sided stories of great triumph and fulfillment. One important step to avoiding the lure of comparison is to remember that

[00:06:17] one snapshot in time never tells the whole story. The story is never told of the hours in a makeup room or the photo editing technique to cover the blemishes. The story is rarely told of their insecurities or failures,

[00:06:33] except to mention how they overcame them. That story doesn't sell nearly as many magazines but the truth remains there are no perfect people including you and including me. And number six, live as intentional as possible. Too many people live their lives

[00:06:52] without intentionality or thought. They rarely find a quiet moment to sit in meditation or solitude and examine their life, who they are and who they're becoming. As a result, lives are lived as a reaction to the events around them. But when a life is lived intentionally and thoughtfully,

[00:07:10] the comparison game becomes less attractive. As humans, it's in our nature to compare ourselves to others but nothing good ever comes from it. So let's stop comparing ourselves to others. We were not born to live their life. There's no sense wasting our life or energy being jealous

[00:07:29] of theirs. Instead, let's start living our lives less determined today to be good at it. After all, we only get one shot. You just listened to the post titled, Stop Comparing Your Life, Start Living It by Joshua Becker of becomingminimalist.com

[00:07:53] Thank you to Joshua. This is another one of those posts that I think is helpful as a reminder but it's easy to forget and not the easiest to build a habit. That's one of the reasons

[00:08:03] this podcast is a daily practice. It's meant to help both me and you remember ideas like this with the hope that we can at the very minimum implement this today, if not tomorrow or for the

[00:08:16] week or longer. Comparison is just one of those things that's sort of built into us but realizing how unhelpful it is and being more aware of our thoughts in a specific moment can help. One thing I'd add to Joshua's steps, at least as an extra idea,

[00:08:34] is creating a gratitude practice. I think that can combat the comparing of it or at least balance it out. I used to write mine out every single day but lately I've just been

[00:08:44] giving it some thought before going to bed. Super simple and a nice way to end the day. I find it helpful to fall asleep to gratefulness rather than negativity or something totally random. So an extra idea for you if this is something you struggle with

[00:09:00] but that should do it for today. Thank you for being here listening every day. Have a great start to your week and I'll be back tomorrow reading to you where your optimal life awaits.