3012: What Can We Do When Our Plans Don't Work Out? AND How Can You Stop Worrying? by Allison Carmen on Gratitude and Acceptance

[00:00:00] This is Optimal Living Daily Episode 3012. What can we do when our plans don't work out? And How can you stop worrying both by Allison Carmen of allisoncarnon.com

[00:00:12] And I'm your very own personal narrator Justin Malik reading to you from some amazing blogs and books to help you optimize your life topics include personal development productivity and minimalism mostly in an effort to make your and my day even just a little bit happier

[00:00:30] Now let's get right to today's two posts as we optimize your life What can we do when our plans don't work out by Allison Carmen of allisoncarnon.com? Gratitude is the process of appreciating what is and letting go of what is not

[00:00:52] My children will be on spring break in a few weeks, which started me thinking about the trip We took last spring to Disney World The first two days were a lot of fun

[00:01:02] We also took a detour to Universal Studios to visit the Harry Potter attractions and just enjoyed our time together as a family On the third day my older daughter woke up nauseous And I thought it would just pass so we headed to the amusement park by 2 p.m

[00:01:19] We were running to the hotel room for what turned out to be a stomach virus My husband headed back to the park with my younger daughter And there I was in my hotel room at Disney World with my older daughter feeling just awful

[00:01:33] As I squeezed myself out the door onto our small balcony overlooking the giraffes we stayed at the animal kingdom I could hear several children laughing and having a great time I felt my mood start to drop and add the following thoughts

[00:01:48] It's not fair that those children get to enjoy Disney World and we don't I can't believe we spent all of this money to sit in this room and This is the worst vacation ever As I let myself dip further and further into this mood

[00:02:04] I started to suffer greatly as I felt myself slipping. I actually asked myself out loud Do I really want to have this experience with this mindset? I'm in a lot of emotional pain I took a deep breath and decided to accept my situation

[00:02:21] Be grateful for what I had and make the best of it. This shift in my mindset changed everything Many of us have read articles and posts about gratitude Acceptance and making the best of a situation, but we find it hard to actually do it

[00:02:39] One of the reasons it's sometimes difficult to shift our mindset is because we are disappointed that We're not getting what we want in the moment We get stuck in traffic someone rejects us. We have to work more than we expected

[00:02:53] Our children need help with their homework, but we have something else we want or need to do or the weather is not cooperating Life is not going as planned and we are angry and upset Yet in these moments we have a choice to shift our perspective

[00:03:10] For me when I made the choice to see it differently all of a sudden I felt joy How could I be joyous sitting in a small dark hotel room with an animal motif with my children feeling sick?

[00:03:23] I knew her stomach virus would pass and I did not want to give up another moment of my life Complaining that things were not working out as planned We put on the television and watched reruns of the fresh prince of bel-air

[00:03:36] Castle and a few other shows that I cannot even remember We talked and laughed in between moments of her not feeling well The next day my younger one woke up not feeling so good and we did it all again

[00:03:49] It was not my preference to be sitting in the hotel room, but I felt peaceful and content to be with them They did rally back the following day and we returned to the amusement park

[00:04:01] They wind a bit about nausea and we only went on a few rides, but we had some laughs and enjoyed the fireworks The day we were leaving we had some time to spare because it was raining

[00:04:12] I took a deep sigh of relief that everyone felt okay and we would be headed home in a few hours I then heard beeping on my phone There was a tornado warning in our immediate area and we were directed to seek immediate shelter

[00:04:26] Instead of thinking this is a lousy end to a difficult vacation We took cover and a nice restaurant and ended up having a great lunch So today whatever you're experiencing ask yourself Is my mindset causing me emotional pain?

[00:04:42] Can I accept this situation and be grateful for what is in my life? Is there a way to make the best of it and choose joy instead of negativity?

[00:04:52] It's not always easy, but often with some effort we can find the path to get the most out of each moment in life How can you stop worrying by allison carman of allison carman.com Before I adopted the practice of maybe

[00:05:12] I used to get immediately stuck whenever something happened that I had not predicted or expected I wasted so many hours, days and nights thinking and worrying about How things might work out negatively that I was oblivious to the present before me

[00:05:28] I missed a joy of family occasions, the joy of accomplishment And even the simple sunrise in the morning No matter what I did my mind would just not stop assuming the worst was on its way In an attempt to alleviate my thoughts of stress and worry

[00:05:45] I decided to learn to meditate I went to the Deepak Chopra center in California to learn transcendental meditation And as I sat in a beautiful meditation room I began to feel like I was going to pass out

[00:05:58] The more I tried to breathe and follow my breath or my mantra The further my mind wandered and the more negative possibilities took shape My thoughts ran something like How am I going to afford a new home? What if my parents die? Will my husband lose his job?

[00:06:15] Will I win the motion I filed with the courts before I left town? What will happen if the meditation teacher doesn't like me? I actually got dizzy sitting there And had to open my eyes repeatedly to clear the chaos from my mind

[00:06:29] My mind was racing around like a car in high gear And both my feet were strapped to the gas pedal My inability to keep my mind centered is not a knock against meditation Meditating is an amazing tool both for remaining in the present

[00:06:43] And for attaining peace of mind However, at that point in my life I was not able to stop my mind from worrying no matter what I did It was only the philosophy of maybe That saved me

[00:06:57] Excessing maybe allowed my mind to sit in neutral without the fear, stress or worry I lifted the burden of what I feared because I realized maybe my fears might never come to fruition And in that moment I found that I had space for other prospects

[00:07:15] My mind finally went quiet because the story of everything bad that could happen Just stopped as I sat in the maybe Of all possibilities I could feel the joy of not knowing

[00:07:26] And I was able to be still in a moment of peace and enjoy the space in front of me So today whether you're facing a tough problem at work A challenge with a family member Or just feeling overwhelmed Try to remember this idea of maybe

[00:07:43] We truly do not know what tomorrow will bring But within that uncertainty is the possibility that maybe my mind would be in a state of mind And I think that is the possibility that maybe our lives can improve We can accomplish our goals or improve our relationships

[00:07:59] Maybe can become a constant in our lives Always reminding us that there is hope that whatever we are experiencing today It will change and maybe get better Let maybe ease your mind so you can enjoy the moment You just listened to the posts titled

[00:08:20] What can we do when our plans don't work out And how can you stop worrying Both by Allison Carmen of allisoncarmand.com Take it Allison in the first post talking about expectations

[00:08:33] I'm glad she mentioned that most of us find it really hard to actually make the best of a situation I know we've talked about this in the past It's a bit of an ongoing theme here and that is the purpose of this show

[00:08:47] The listeners I know who keep listening and make this part of their daily routine Are using this show as a reminder because we really do have to keep hearing this for it to sink in I mean, it's both really knowledge and practice

[00:09:02] And if you're one of these longtime listeners, well first of all, thank you But it's also the same for me. I'm right there with you I've been using these articles as my reminders for many years now And there really is no end point

[00:09:15] I'm simply trying to digest it all and then again remember as often as possible It can be really difficult when we're in tough situations But she's right. It's a great thing to ask yourself Do I really want to have this experience with this mindset?

[00:09:32] It truly is a choice So make that choice today Ask yourself that question if you find yourself having a not so great day But I do hope you have a great rest of your day And I'll see you in tomorrow's show where you're optimal life That waits