3013: The Power of No by Chikodi Chima with NirAndFar on Assertiveness and Decision Making

[00:00:00] This is Optimal Living Daily Episode 3013 The Power of No by ChikodiChima with NirAndFar.com I'm your host and personal narrator Justin Malik, and I'm going to jump right into our next post as we optimize your life. The Power of No by ChikodiChima with NirAndFar.com

[00:00:25] Sirens were beautiful creatures from Greek mythology who lured sailors to their death. The power of their song was so irresistible it would cause captains to steer their boats into the rocks and drown.

[00:00:37] We are also seduced daily by ideas that sound great at first, but may leave us shipwrecked unless we have the power to say no. Investor Mark Seuster recently warned about the perils of shining new objects.

[00:00:49] Everything you say yes to is incrementally one more thing to support, and you die a death by a thousand cuts, he says. My strongly believe that your success will be more defined by what you choose not to do than by what you choose to do.

[00:01:04] Of course, what you choose to do has to be meaningful, timely, valuable, prescient, and high quality. Why we say yes when we mean no? Michael Hyatt says there are three common responses to people who ask us to do things we don't want to do. Number one, accommodation.

[00:01:22] We say yes when we want to say no. This usually comes when we value the relationship of the person making the request above the importance of our own interests. Number two, attack. We say no poorly.

[00:01:35] This is a result of valuing our own interests above the importance of the relationship. Sometimes we are fearful or resentful of the request and overreact to the person asking. Or three, avoidance. We say nothing at all because we are afraid of offending the other party, we

[00:01:50] say nothing hoping the problem will go away. It rarely does. Personally I've always felt that being asked to do something was a measure of your fitness and status, but some people will ask anybody when they need something because they know there's no loss in being told no.

[00:02:06] Tim Collney of the Foolish Adventure recently wrote about how self-doubt prompted him to say yes too often. I let those fears manifest into taking on too many projects so I can't do them to their fullest says Collney. Quote, a little here, a little there, end quote.

[00:02:22] And as a result, Collney says he finds himself in the 15% of businesses that are doing okay but not great. Better than the 80% of businesses that are failing, he says, but far from the 5% that are crushing it and where he has been in the past.

[00:02:37] Saying no is saying yes to freedom. Having the confidence and foresight to say no makes you stand out. When you have clear goals it's easier to say no. I'm actually as proud of the things we haven't done as the things I have

[00:02:50] done, Steve Jobs said at the 1997 Worldwide Developers Conference, quote, innovation is saying no to 1000 things, end quote. There are lots of good ideas out there. None are better than your own well-executed plans. We often say yes instead of no when we doubt ourselves and our intentions.

[00:03:09] When we say no to requests, we free ourselves to work on the things we value, not what other people think is important. And that's the power of no. No is powerful because it's rare. Nere all wrote about how scarcity can boost desire. We want what we can't have.

[00:03:29] Psychologists call this the scarcity heuristic. When we are rebuffed, we want what we can't have even more. There will always be great new opportunities. The better you are at what you do, the more people will want you. The more you say no, the more you reinforce your value.

[00:03:45] But saying no can sometimes mean not right now. Instagram founder Kevin Systrom turned out a personal offer from Mark Zuckerberg to be one of Facebook's earliest employees. This move could have cost him hundreds of millions of dollars.

[00:03:58] But Systrom believed in his own vision, and that staying in school was the right move for his future. As luck would have it, he was right, and Facebook later bought his company for more than enough money to put any regrets to rest. People want to be liked.

[00:04:13] We don't want to offend. Rather than saying no, we'd rather string people along and hope to get the message someday. But nothing is more clear than stating our intention. It shows respect, self-worth, and conviction. No is about you and no one else.

[00:04:30] The more clear our goals become, the easier and more powerful each no becomes. Saying no takes practice, and it may backfire. But to me, it's the ultimate sign of maturity. There are 1,000 things you will need to say no to in your life.

[00:04:44] And maybe hanging over your head right now. Don't wait. Unlock the power of no. You just listened to the post titled The Power of No by Jakadi Chima with nirandfar.com. Take it in here for letting us narrate content from his site.

[00:05:03] Jakadi is a technology publicist, the founder of Moonshot PR. You can find that at moonshotpr.com. This one reminded me of a post from Derek Sivers about saying no more frequently. One of the first blogs I narrated, actually the first time I narrated his content at all,

[00:05:19] that was back in episode 44 so long ago. But great post and well received. So if you liked this one, you'll probably like that one too. A lot of authors I narrate actually reference that Derek Sivers article too. It's a good one. Again, that's episode 44.

[00:05:33] That's what you do for today. Thank you for listening and being here and for subscribing to the show. Please do subscribe for free if you haven't already. Have a great rest of your day and I'll be back tomorrow as usual where your optimal life awaits.