3014: The Key to Happiness: Accept Yourself & Stop Seeking Approval by Steph Dittrich with Tiny Buddha on Self-Acceptance

[00:00:00] This is Optimal Living Daily Episode 3014 The Key to Happiness Accept Yourself and Stop Seeking Approval by Steph Dittrich with TinyBuddha.com And I'm Justin Malik. I read to you every day with permission from the authors or websites

[00:00:16] And now we're gonna get right to it as we optimize your life The Key to Happiness Accept Yourself and Stop Seeking Approval by Steph Dittrich with TinyBuddha.com Quote, Acceptance is not submission. It is acknowledgement of the facts of a situation

[00:00:40] Then deciding what you're gonna do about it Kathleen Casey Thieson I think many of us get caught in a vicious cycle of thinking that leads us to believe we can only be happy if we gain acceptance from others

[00:00:55] We think to ourselves the only way I can ever love myself is if others do This leads us down a path of self-deprecation and hopelessness We end up making decisions purely for the sake of gaining approval and acceptance

[00:01:09] When really we should make decisions that reflect our authentic self and life goals and aspirations This was me just one short year ago I was in school full-time and I was working so hard that I was pushing myself to the brink of destruction

[00:01:25] I'm a cancer survivor and since I got sick at 14 my health has never been quite the same I pushed and pushed through school because it made others happy I ignored the important task of taking care of my mind body and spirit

[00:01:42] Because I felt that there was no time in my life for any of these things Acceptance and love from others was paramount in my mind and love and acceptance from myself took a back seat However, this sort of thinking is a slippery slope

[00:01:59] Eventually I got the wake-up call I needed When I was 17 I developed a chronic and relentless case of insomnia and was prescribed Xanax I was severely physically dependent on this medication until I was 21

[00:02:15] It distorted the way I perceived the world in ways. I'm only just now beginning to understand When I turned 21 in September, I finally could see the forest for the trees and saw that my life was falling apart

[00:02:27] I saw treatment for my substance abuse issues and suddenly I began to experience moments of clarity That helped me understand what I had been doing wrong for so many years Ever since my cancer treatments. I've been chronically ill. It's made walking a traditional path in life very difficult

[00:02:47] But I never really wanted to walk a traditional path Only did so because I was caught in the trap of seeking approval from others I spent many years having a pity party for myself and wondering why I was such a good person who had to endure

[00:03:02] Such a bad thing. I spent thousands of dollars on medical treatments hoping that I could one day be the person I was before I got sick This led to a deep depression when I was at the crux of much of my substance abuse issues

[00:03:17] It wasn't until I went to treatment that I realized that accepting my situation Didn't mean I was giving up. It meant I was granting myself the right to have some peace in my life I finally surrendered to the fact that there were aspects of my life

[00:03:33] I just couldn't change and trying would only further the insanity I finally realized it was time to move on So once again, I need to stress that accepting your situation does not have to mean you become complacent In fact for me, it's quite the opposite

[00:03:52] For the first time I met myself where I was and loved and nurtured myself in a way I never had known how to before Stemming from this self-love and acceptance

[00:04:03] Something magical happened for the first time I stopped looking at myself as a broken sick person with no future And I saw positivity power and abundance in my life

[00:04:15] I started focusing on what I would like to cultivate in my life and what sort of path I could walk Given my circumstances. I started making lists of things that I had wanted to do But had to put off because I believed I'd never be well enough

[00:04:30] As my confidence grew I started to envision a positive and wonderful future for myself I'd always wanted to move to Berkeley ever since I was 16 and so I set out to do that I'd always wanted to sell on eBay, but was too fearful of failure to try it

[00:04:47] For the first time I decided to take a risk and so I started to do that too I wanted to take a break from school and so I granted myself permission to do that as well The end result?

[00:05:00] I now have a successful eBay store and just moved into a cute little apartment in Berkeley I took some time off from school to gain clarity and will be returning next semester However, I'll only go at the pace that is reasonable for me

[00:05:14] And I'll no longer compare my path to the path of others or do things a certain way purely for approval and acceptance

[00:05:23] I'll do what I can while still leaving plenty of time to care for myself in this deep and powerful way that has led me to my current situation These are the kinds of changes that you can make in just a few short months

[00:05:36] And all you need is a little self-love and self-acceptance So what have I learned this year that perhaps can be helpful to you? Well first and foremost, I've learned that we should never compare our path to the path of others

[00:05:50] Our focus should be on walking the path that is the most reasonable for us While still having time to genuinely love and take care of ourselves Further, I learned that sometimes the biggest risks in life reap the greatest rewards

[00:06:05] Lastly, I've learned that cultivating a deep sense of happiness and well-being from within Will ultimately provide us with the strength to manifest what we want in our lives When you focus on the internal rather than trying to directly influence the external aspects of your life

[00:06:22] Inevitably the external aspects of your life also change for the better It all starts with you You just listened to the post titled the key to happiness accept yourself and stop seeking approval by Steph Dietrich with tinybuddha.com Thank you to Steph

[00:06:45] This one related to a post I narrated earlier about it always being our choice in situations both bad and good If we're having a terrible day at least in terms of external circumstances

[00:06:59] Like maybe there was way more traffic than usual or someone treated us poorly or we didn't sleep well How we choose to react given that hand is truly completely up to us

[00:07:13] It's probably one of the most if not the most powerful message that I think we get on this show But it's also one of the hardest to master and remember

[00:07:23] I know I've brought this up, but if you're looking for a way to train yourself to get better with this I suggest a couple of things First is meditation, but many people do struggle with it. So if it ends up being a really frustrating experience for you

[00:07:38] Well first, maybe try guided meditation or even a class And if that still doesn't work for you Journaling is definitely another option But if you really dislike writing I do think the daily reminder that you get here on this show really does help. I know it's helped others

[00:07:56] Thanks to emails I've received in the past So hopefully it works for you too But that should do it for today. Have a great rest of your day. Thank you for being here listening every day And I'll see you tomorrow where your optimal life awaits