3017: Dealing With Money Envy: Keeping the Joneses At Bay by Sam of FinancialSamurai on Financial Growth

[00:00:00] This is Optimal Living Daily Episode 3017, Dealing With Money Envy, Keeping The Joneses At Bay by Sam of FinancialSamurai.com And I'm Justin Malik. Welcome back to our usual Sunday bonus episode, Christmas Eve edition.

[00:00:16] If you're new here on Sundays, I share an extra episode from one of the other podcasts in the Optimal Living Daily Network, usually overlapping with the kinds of themes that come up here.

[00:00:26] Today's episode comes from Optimal Finance Daily, the second show we ever launched, still going strong after many, many years. You can follow or subscribe to that show wherever you're hearing this if you enjoy what you're about to hear.

[00:00:39] That goes a long way to keep the show going as well. So with that, let's get right to the post and commentary from Diana as we optimize your life. Dealing With Money Envy, Keeping The Joneses At Bay by Sam of FinancialSamurai.com

[00:00:58] As I was taking in the trash bins this morning, I noticed my neighbor pull out of his garage in a brand new $48,000 Toyota 4Runner Limited Edition SUV. Before now, all I saw was a Fee 1996 Honda Civic with dings everywhere come and go.

[00:01:14] The 4Runner has a special place in my heart because it was the car I most longed for in high school. All the rich kids had the Toyota 4Runner and I had a bike. Shataki Fudge Mushroom

[00:01:26] With a nice 4Runner, it was easier to get the girls, which was frankly my number one priority in high school besides getting good grades of course.

[00:01:33] So instead of relying on an expensive SUV to impress the ladies, I had to work on developing my personality, humor, charisma, leadership and fitness instead. Seriously, what a drag.

[00:01:45] Having money is so much easier but it might leave us delusional and depressed when we realize all that we've gotten wasn't because of who we are. My Lucky Neighbor My 4Runner driving neighbor is 33 years old, married and has a kid.

[00:02:00] Given I've lived in my spot for almost 8 years and they've lived there for 30 years, I've known him since he was 26 years old. He disappeared for years on end but now he finally seems to have settled down.

[00:02:12] You see, my neighbor has been living with his parents ever since college. Property is expensive in San Francisco with a similar 2 building unit down the street selling for over $2.3 million just the other month. How's a normal person in his 20s supposed to afford even one unit for $1.15 million?

[00:02:30] I don't blame him for living rent free in his parents' apartment for 10 years after college. He was jobless for several years and ended up traveling around the world with what I presume is his parents allowance money.

[00:02:42] I remember him throwing the occasional techno party when his parents were away but he's all grown up now and works as a restaurant manager. What I do feel is a tinge of envy now that he's driving one of my childhood dream vehicles I could never afford.

[00:02:56] $48,000 is a lot of money for a car and I doubt he makes $480,000 a year as a restaurant manager based on my 1-10th rule for car buying. My New Desires I now admit to having the desire to purchase a new car because of the following thoughts.

[00:03:16] You only live once! I think YOLO is a popular term for the Gen Y nowadays. Correct me if I'm wrong but doesn't this term seem like it helps screw up your financial life?

[00:03:28] If a restaurant manager who makes less than $100,000 a year can afford a $48,000 car, why can't I? He lived at home with his parents and I went off on my own to build a career, save like crazy so I could retire early and buy my own home.

[00:03:44] I think I deserve it. These are truly keeping up with the Joneses type thoughts I have never experienced since coming to San Francisco. All this time I felt a little sorry for my neighbor for not being able to launch.

[00:03:56] As a post college man living at home it does a lot of damage to one's confidence. His mother and I would talk at least once a month when we bump into each other and she'd ask me for advice how to get her grown son out of the house.

[00:04:08] Now all is good because he and his wife and child don't have to pay rent or a mortgage thanks to his parents. They can spend freely on whatever desires they want. Thoughts on dealing with money envy.

[00:04:20] Number one, know there is more wealth out there than you can imagine. The media loves to focus on the suffering of others to make themselves and their readers feel good. Pay no attention.

[00:04:33] Many of my friends and I have a pact never to let anybody know offline how much we have or fully make. W2 income is just one source of income for people. There's bank of mom and dad income, passive income, hobby income, wealthy spouse income, government assistance income, etc.

[00:04:50] Number two, ostentation is out. Low key is in. You might encounter someone who loves to show off their wealth by sharing pictures of their big house, shiny new car and how much they make, but they are the exception.

[00:05:03] Know they either come from new wealth or are suffering from insecurity. If you spend some time to look behind their show, you'll find some less than impressive scenarios. Number three, focus on what you can control. There will always be somebody with a lot more wealth than you.

[00:05:20] The only thing you can do is focus on building more wealth for yourself. Use the Joneses as motivation. Back to center. Now that I've finished writing this post, I'm back to thinking like I normally do.

[00:05:33] I love Moose and will never sell him because I don't sell my children. I'm happy with Moose because he's reliable, good looking and gets me where I want to go. Besides, I just got him some new breaks and a nice battery in the past year.

[00:05:46] For all I know, my neighbor is a multi-millionaire who invested early in Facebook. Maybe he has a nice inheritance from his grandparents. From his perspective, he must have been scratching his head when I bought a house right next door at the age of 28

[00:05:59] when he was still loving off his parents after college. He doesn't know how much I make and he'll never know as long as I dress the way I do and drive Moose.

[00:06:07] You just listened to the post titled, dealing with money envy, keeping the Joneses at bay by Sam of FinancialSamurai.com. What I got out of this article is a reminder to mind my own business. Caring about what other people are doing with their money is a distraction.

[00:06:29] We're so quick to judge and I think we get an emotional boost from feeling superior when we have an opinion about what others are doing. But that feeling is deceptive because our power is held in only what we can control

[00:06:43] and what we can control is our own finances. There's an author named Byron Katie that really helped me reframe my judgments of others. Reading her books made me realize that when I'm tied up in judgments of others, I'm actually abandoning myself.

[00:06:59] Who's taking care of me while I'm in my head wondering how my neighbor bought that new car? No one, that too.

[00:07:07] And the tricky thing about judging others is that you often need to make a lot of assumptions about their situation that you have no way of knowing are true. We can use our tendency of judging others to uncover the ways we judge and torture ourselves.

[00:07:20] Byron theorizes that other people are mirrors. They can show us what we don't like about ourselves deep down. When someone rubs us the wrong way, they might just be an external example of how we aren't living up to our own values.

[00:07:35] So maybe judgments are useful if we use them to check ourselves before we wreck ourselves. But perhaps they're also a giant waste of time and energy built on assumptions that aren't even close to true. And that should do it for today.

[00:07:50] Have a happy rest of your day and I'll see you on the Thursday show tomorrow where your optimal life awaits.