3021: Five Ways to Transform your Stress into Something Better by Heather Aardema with No Sidebar on Personal Development

[00:00:00] This is Optimal Living Daily Episode 3021, Five Ways to Transform your Stress into Something Better by Heather Aardema with NoSidebar.com And I'm Justin Malik. I read to you every day covering happiness, self-care and more And I'll just get right to our next post as we optimize your life

[00:00:20] Five Ways to Transform Your Stress into Something Better by Heather Aardema with NoSidebar.com Oh no! I lost my stone! I looked down on my hand that was resting on the steering wheel My beautiful aquamarine stone had vanished from my wedding ring

[00:00:41] There's a big gaping hole left in its place My breath caught in my throat, my heart started to pound I could feel the adrenaline surging from my shock Where was it? I merely felt like a part of me was missing

[00:00:54] I wore my wedding ring hard. I loved it. It wasn't super expensive and flashy, but it was me I remember going to the store with my husband Randy and picking it out When I saw it, I knew it was perfect for me and our minimalist lifestyle

[00:01:08] Once I had it on my finger, I never took it off. We went everywhere together Mountain biking, hiking, swimming, every night we slept together I kept it on in the shower aware that if I took it off even for just a moment, I might misplace it

[00:01:21] Frozen in my seat, I started to do the math I want to know my daily rate for the use of the ring Divide the amount we paid for it by the 8 and a half years I had the pleasure of calling it mine

[00:01:33] I must have made some unpleasant sounds because my son Cole who was already buckled in the back seat and ready for the morning drive to school asked me You lost a stone on your ring? But mom And he paused But at least you didn't lose us Time stopped

[00:01:49] At least you didn't lose us Huh? Right, wow At least I didn't lose my two boys My Cole and Will Riley, my 7 year old Crash and my 5 year old Smash My everythings Thank you child

[00:02:07] Thank you for snapping me back to the present and reminding me what is truly important And thank you for transforming the stress I was feeling in the moment What a different morning it would have been if I were mourning the loss of my children rather than a stone

[00:02:20] Quote When you change your mind about stress from something negative to positive You can change your body's response to stress Stress makes your body energize, preparing you to meet the upcoming challenge Kelly McGonagall

[00:02:34] Kelly McGonagall wrote a book called The Upside of Stress where she shares how to make us better at stress Here's how it worked for Cole Last spring he was nervous about giving a presentation to his classmates On the drive to school he told me his tummy felt funny

[00:02:48] I told him that those funny feelings were getting his body ready to give the best presentation of his life That if he didn't feel funny, that'd mean that he didn't really care It might be sloppy and not give a good presentation

[00:03:01] He liked my rationalization so much that he asked me to repeat it two or more times on the drive in And then he told me that he was excited to give the presentation and that his tummy was no longer feeling funny

[00:03:11] Stress is a fact of life so here are five simple ideas on how to transform it into something better Number one, connect to your breath In the middle of a stressful event there will become a point at which you gain a heightened sense of awareness

[00:03:27] Almost as if you were having an out-of-body experience You may discover that you've been holding your breath more barely breathing Take this opportunity to get out of your chest and do a few deep belly breaths Breathe in through your nose until both your chest and belly are inflated

[00:03:43] Hold for the count of seven and release through your mouth for a count of eight I just started using Pranayama which reminds me to breathe deeper and helps me slow down when I feel like a scattered mess

[00:03:54] I love the calming music on Insight Timer, a free meditation app I am listening to as I write this post Number two, connect to your mind Perception is reality Whether true or not your beliefs shape your life Connect to your inner mentor and create personalized self-enhancing beliefs

[00:04:14] One of my clients came up with a mantra I am enough, I know, and I am freaking amazing To help her work through stressful work situations She beams when she talks about her mantra and how much it has alleviated her anxiety She creates something that works for her

[00:04:29] What will work for you? Number three, connect to your body Our bodies are built to move. They are not designed to be stagnant Feeling angry? Try a Zumba class Feeling anxiety? Go for yoga About to deliver a big presentation? Pinch your thigh under the table

[00:04:48] Remember you're more than the conversation that is about to unfold My kids learned at our church to use their pointer finger on one hand to trace the outline of their own Or other hand, when they feel nervous

[00:04:59] They love this tactic. At least they love showing it to me Number four, connect to your flow How do you feel when you are around people with a positive attitude? Uplifted, right? I do too Find those folks and spend time with them Unhappiness is contagious

[00:05:17] Stop tuning into all the complainers and debbie downers of the world Find harmony and spread it to your family Laughter boosts your immune system So tune into things that make you smile, laugh and snort Tune into things that help you grow Watch comedies, watch inspirational documentaries Stretch yourself

[00:05:37] Number five, connect to your courage Learn to say no If you are constantly serving everyone else, you will suffer There's a reason airplane attendants tell you to put on your oxygen mask before you help your children And learn to say goodbye Give your house a cleanse

[00:05:53] Get rid of clutter that is just weighing you down And face your fears Hate doing taxes? Or is it that you hate thinking about doing taxes? Most of us spend more time thinking about having to do them than actually doing them So don't wait until the last minute

[00:06:07] The thing that you don't want to do is probably the thing that you should do Now, today Go do it I no longer feel like a part of me is missing when I look at my ring finger

[00:06:17] And thanks to Cole, my negative emotions, although very raw and real Lasted for under two minutes Today I'm wearing a simple band that my mom had given me years ago And no longer sits in a jewelry box unused

[00:06:29] And I look at it and think about my parents and smile To top it off, Randy, my boys and I Are going to choose another band to pair with it Something that reflects all of us I'll inscribe their names on the inside

[00:06:41] I bet I'll love this new pairing as much or more than I loved my first ring And in another eight and a half years Maybe I'll decide on another new look To match my head and heart space at that time My relationship with Randy is not static

[00:06:55] We are both changing, evolving, growing And discovering what is important to us and what is not Both individually and collectively The thought that what goes on my finger gets to evolve along with me Is exhilarating Losing my ring has given me the freedom to evolve

[00:07:12] Express a new level of creativity And find new meaning in my life You just listened to the post titled Five Ways to Transform Your Stress into Something Better By Heather Ardema with nosidebar.com Thank you to Heather and the team at nosidebar.com

[00:07:32] I had to go look up the book she mentioned in this post It's called The Upside of Stress by Kelly McGonigal She's a Stanford psychologist And the book has over a thousand ratings with an average of 4.6 So it's well liked The full title is The Upside of Stress

[00:07:46] Why So Many Things Are Not Good The full title is The Upside of Stress Why Stress Is Good for You and How to Get Good at It So if this is something you're struggling with That could be another resource to check out And when it comes to breathing

[00:07:59] There are times of really high stress Where that might appear to make things worse Because when you're fixating on how fast your breath Or heart rate is That can then make you concerned Adding fuel to the fire But I did see an interesting study

[00:08:15] Showing that a certain type of breathing can help with stress Actually two types that I know of The first is box breathing I think that's what it's called Where you do somewhere around four seconds to breathe in Four seconds hold Four seconds out And four seconds hold again

[00:08:33] You can adjust the seconds to fit you better But you want to keep each length the same And another one that I found that's easier I think and had a study to back it up Was to take a deep breath in through your nose

[00:08:45] Then when you think you're done Take another sniff to really fill your lungs And this is again through your nose Then let it all out through the mouth I like that one You can do it a few times And it's pretty easy

[00:09:01] So just some ideas to try out But with that, wishing you a happy rest of your day Thank you for being here And I'll see you tomorrow Where your optimal life awaits