3038: 4 Steps to Loving Your Ordinary Life by Marc Chernoff on Personal Acceptance & Life Appreciation

[00:00:00] This is Optimal Living Daily Episode 3038, 4 Steps to Loving Your Ordinary Life by Marc Chernoff of MarcandAngel.com and I'm Justin Malik, your personal narrator, reading to you every single day of the year with permission from the authors of course.

[00:00:16] So with that we're going to get right to it as we optimize your life. 4 Steps to Loving Your Ordinary Life by Marc Chernoff of MarcandAngel.com Let's start with the bitter truth. You'll never be as good as you think you should be

[00:00:38] and life will never be as easy as you expected. All of us are faced with the same reality. There will inevitably be times when we slip up and fail to meet our unreasonable expectations of ourselves. It's likely to happen quite often too.

[00:00:56] And if we don't embrace these slip ups and failures as necessary lessons learned, we'll gradually and unknowingly become self-conscious about everything we're not doing and achieving according to planned. Honestly it happens every day to the best of us. We hopelessly catch ourselves thinking about how we're falling short.

[00:01:17] We worry that we haven't made as much progress as we thought we would. We worry that we'll never be as productive as we could be. Our worrying just leads to more senseless worrying. We worry that we don't have better looking bodies or get to the gym more often

[00:01:35] or accomplish more of our goals and so on. We worry that we should be doing something better, something more amazing and all those amazing things that people on TV and social media are doing. And so we're left feeling guilty that we're not as good as we should be

[00:01:53] that we're not doing the perfect thing at the perfect time ever. The good news is that thoughts like these are natural because the human mind isn't perfect. It worries about things. But we can learn to catch and control these thoughts so they don't catch and control us.

[00:02:12] Letting go of our perfect life fantasies. To an extent, we all have this lavish idea in our heads about how our lives are supposed to be. We fantasize that we should be living a different and better life, a life without procrastination and failure,

[00:02:30] a life with spectacular feats of success, a life of travel and adventure, a life with perfect friends, family and partners and so on. And through it all, we're supposed to be smiling too, right? Wrong. That's not how life really works, at least not 24-7.

[00:02:50] The truth is we're miraculously flawed human beings living miraculously flawed lives. And the miraculous part only transpires when we accept and make the best of what we have. Close your eyes and reflect on the present reality of your life and whisper, I'm okay. Life is okay.

[00:03:11] I'll let my present life situation be what it is instead of what I think it should be and I'll make the best of it. The key is to accept the fact that there's no such thing as a perfect life. There's no perfect thing you should have already accomplished

[00:03:26] and no perfect sequence of things you should be accomplishing right now. There's just this moment you're living through and what you choose to do with it. And yes, disappointment with this moment, with yourself and with others, is often part of the picture. There's no escaping this reality.

[00:03:46] But what will you choose to do? You can be disappointed in this moment and do nothing or you can practice being satisfied with the opportunity to make the very best of it. Making the best of your ordinary life.

[00:04:01] When Angel and I guide our course students through the process of letting go of their perfect life or perfect self-fantasies, we cover a four-step practice for doing so. It's a simple series of steps that can work wonders at any given moment in time but it takes some diligence.

[00:04:18] It's not necessarily convenient or easy. Number one, when you feel your life isn't good enough, anxiety rising? Pause, close your eyes and notice that you're in the process of worrying about what you're not doing or what you haven't yet achieved.

[00:04:36] Notice the feelings of disappointment you have with yourself and your life at the present moment. Number two, accept these feelings of disappointment as a part of you. Focus on them and just allow yourself to feel them.

[00:04:50] As you focus, notice the emotional sensations of this feeling throughout your body. Number three, open your eyes, turn your attention to the present moment. What are you doing right now? Put all of your awareness into this moment.

[00:05:06] Be 100% present with the physical and emotional sensations of whatever you're doing. And number four, notice that the present moment is enough, enough for right now. It doesn't need to be better. It doesn't need to be anything more.

[00:05:24] It's good enough already in its own unique way and so are you. Again, this is a practice, a life-changing daily ritual. It's not something any of us will ever be perfect at. We just remind ourselves often and when we forget, we remind ourselves again

[00:05:42] and we begin again with our practice one day at a time. Oh and this short article by the way is as much a reminder to Angel and Me as it is a guide for you or anybody else who might find value in it.

[00:05:55] We're all in this one together. May this moment be as good as we collectively choose to make it. This moment, our most precious resource. As I wrap up here, I'm reminded of something Angel and I have learned the hard way from the most heart-wrenching moments of our lives,

[00:06:12] losing loved ones early and unexpectedly. Death is an unpredictable inevitability. Embracing this fact provides a renewed sense of awareness to realize that we've lived a certain number of days and the days ahead of us are not as guaranteed as the ones we're living through right now.

[00:06:32] When I think of this, I'm reminded that every day truly is an opportunity to be grateful for not in a cliched kind of way but to honestly appreciate what we have here and to admit that we alone are responsible for the quality of our present lives.

[00:06:50] This makes our self-respect and positive focus ever more important right here, right now. It leaves no time to wallow in self-pity and self-doubt. The last thing any of us want to do is die with regret, hence why respecting the reality of death puts life into perspective.

[00:07:09] It humbles us and should also deeply motivate us to lead our lives and make the best of it. Less criticizing and complaining. More acceptance, appreciation and enjoyment of this blessed yet often ordinary life. Love where you are right now.

[00:07:28] You've come a long way and you're still learning and growing. Be thankful for the lessons, take them and make the best of things right now. You just listened to the post titled Four Steps to Loving Your Ordinary Life by Mark Schurnoff of markandangel.com

[00:07:49] and I'll be right back with my commentary. Think it a mark. I liked that he said, and yes disappointment with this moment with yourself and with others is often part of the picture there's no escaping this reality.

[00:08:04] Because he could have said that we need to stop this way of thinking completely but that's just not realistic at least in my experience. Instead if we can accept that those feelings will come up then maybe we can be better equipped to do something about it

[00:08:21] or maybe even turn it into something positive. I think that shift from fantasy to acceptance is huge for our well-being both mental and emotional. And we might not like bringing up death and talking about it it can be uncomfortable for many

[00:08:37] but avoidance is probably not going to help. Instead thinking about it and embracing it might give us that little boost of inspiration or gratitude that we need and we can take advantage of that moment and make the best of it.

[00:08:53] Hopefully you're making the best of your moment right now. I'm right there with you. And with that thank you for being here and optimizing your life with me. Have a great rest of your day and I'll be back tomorrow where your optimal life awaits.