3054: How to Give Yourself to Whatever the Moment Brings, and Forget Stress by Leo Babauta of Zen Habits

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Episode 3054:

Leo Babauta of ZenHabits.net challenges the conventional approach to life planning, advocating for a more flexible and present-focused mindset. He suggests abandoning rigid plans and expectations, embracing the unpredictable nature of life, and responding to each moment with openness, passion, and calm acceptance.

Read along with the original article(s) here: https://zenhabits.net/how-to-give-yourself-to-whatever-the-moment-brings-and-forget-stress/

Quotes to ponder:

"Do what you’re passionate about, do what excites you right now."

"Accept what happens, it’s what life has given you, what has resulted from your actions in an unpredictable world."

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How to give yourself to whatever the moment brings and forget stress [01:35.200 --> 01:42.720] by Leo Babada of zenhabits.net. The prevailing way of living in our Western societies [01:42.720 --> 01:47.840] is to plan out our lives, both for the long term and on a day-to-day basis. We [01:47.840 --> 01:53.760] have planners and digital calendars that map out our lives, sometimes to the minute. We feel [01:53.760 --> 01:59.600] we're in control with plans like this, but it's an illusion, as I've said before. We cannot [01:59.600 --> 02:05.680] control our lives to this degree, no matter how we try. Things will always come up to spoil the [02:05.680 --> 02:10.880] best laid plans, and the more detailed our plans, the more of a guarantee that something [02:10.880 --> 02:16.480] will go wrong. And what happens when the plans go wrong? We're stressed out because [02:16.480 --> 02:21.840] things get out of our control and don't live up to our expectations. This is one of the greatest [02:21.840 --> 02:27.840] sources of stress for most people, actually. Think about how often your days actually go [02:27.840 --> 02:33.920] according to plan exactly. It's pretty rare because we have no way of predicting the future, [02:33.920 --> 02:39.840] no matter how hard we try. There's always an email that will disrupt things, a last-minute [02:39.840 --> 02:44.960] meeting, cancellations and postponements, emergencies and fires to put out. [02:45.680 --> 02:50.480] So if plans will almost always go wrong, and when they do, we get stressed out, [02:51.120 --> 02:57.280] isn't all the time we spend creating the plans a bit of a waste? But what's the alternative? [02:58.080 --> 03:03.280] Giving yourself to the moment. This will not work for everyone, I'll admit. There are those who will [03:03.280 --> 03:07.760] have a hard time giving up the illusion of control, and others who are controlled by their [03:07.760 --> 03:14.800] bosses or peers and cannot work or live this way. But still, it's something worth considering. [03:15.600 --> 03:23.920] Here's how to do it, starting with the don'ts. Number one, don't plan. Planning is an attempt [03:23.920 --> 03:29.520] to control the world around us, but it's a futile attempt. Throughout your plans, for now, [03:29.520 --> 03:34.880] at least until you've decided this method isn't for you. What do you do instead? Well, [03:34.880 --> 03:41.280] more on this to come. For now, just stop planning. Number two, don't worry about the future. [03:42.160 --> 03:47.440] Will something bad happen? Are there things coming up that we must anticipate and prepare for? [03:48.160 --> 03:52.080] Of course, if there's a massive hurricane headed your way, you should probably get ready. [03:52.640 --> 03:58.560] But otherwise, just realize that the future is unpredictable, and worrying about it is a waste [03:58.560 --> 04:03.760] of time. Focus on right now, and you'll always be able to handle what comes. [04:04.720 --> 04:10.960] Number three, don't have expectations. If you expect people to act a certain way, [04:10.960 --> 04:16.720] or hope that things will turn out a certain way, you'll always run into problems. Forget about [04:16.720 --> 04:22.000] outcomes for now. Go into things without expectations, and they'll always turn out [04:22.000 --> 04:27.600] perfectly, if a bit messy. Number four, don't get annoyed when [04:27.600 --> 04:34.160] others act a certain way. Don't expect people to act any way other than how they actually act. [04:34.720 --> 04:40.000] They are exactly the way they should be, even if that's selfish, or weird, or aggressive. [04:40.640 --> 04:46.960] Those are their problems. Your problem is figuring out how you should act, but also [04:46.960 --> 04:51.040] advise you to try to understand others. Why do they act the way they do? [04:52.080 --> 04:59.040] Number five, don't overreact. This is a major problem when people plan and things go wrong. [04:59.040 --> 05:05.280] They overreact, and get upset, and emotional, and blow things out of proportion. Stay calm, [05:05.280 --> 05:10.560] because if things go wrong, they didn't actually go wrong, they just happened. [05:11.200 --> 05:16.720] More on how to react later. And number six, don't try to be proactive. [05:17.440 --> 05:22.320] This is a common prescription, being proactive in management and business literature. [05:22.960 --> 05:27.920] And while I think the general idea is fine, do something to prevent problems from recurring, [05:27.920 --> 05:32.960] rather than just fixing them after they happen, one of the problems this creates is [05:32.960 --> 05:38.560] always worrying about what might happen. In creating solutions before there are problems, [05:38.560 --> 05:43.200] if there never is a problem, you've wasted a lot of time creating the solution, [05:43.200 --> 05:48.160] and a lot of energy worrying about the future. And now for the do's. [05:49.200 --> 05:55.680] Number one, do be open. What would it be like to go into each day without a plan, [05:55.680 --> 06:00.960] but just to see what happens? A bit scary because of the lack of security and control, [06:00.960 --> 06:06.560] a bit chaotic perhaps, a bit like we're a piece of driftwood floating in the middle of a churning [06:06.560 --> 06:12.400] sea. But in truth, this is what it's like to go into each day with a plan. It's just [06:12.480 --> 06:15.760] that we normally fool ourselves about the amount of control we have. [06:16.400 --> 06:21.040] So start the day with no plan and be open to what emerges in each moment. [06:22.080 --> 06:28.560] Number two, do what you love. So what should you do now that you have no plan? Well, [06:28.560 --> 06:34.000] do what you're passionate about. Do what excites you right now. Create something amazing. [06:34.640 --> 06:40.560] Pour yourself energetically into a project. Build something new. And what you think you're [06:40.560 --> 06:45.120] creating might turn out to be completely different from what emerges, but you'll have [06:45.120 --> 06:52.320] fun doing it and something even better might be revealed. Number three, do act in the moment. [06:53.280 --> 06:57.600] Giving yourself to the moment doesn't mean being passive and just letting life happen. [06:58.160 --> 07:04.400] It means acting, but doing what is best at this moment, what you're excited about right now, [07:04.400 --> 07:10.800] what needs to be done in the present. Number four, do respond appropriately. [07:11.760 --> 07:17.760] Life happens and we must respond, but instead of overreacting, we can respond calmly and [07:17.760 --> 07:23.360] appropriately. We can take the action that's required, fix the problem, do what's necessary [07:23.360 --> 07:29.680] to prevent it from happening again, and move on without it ruining our day. And number five, [07:30.400 --> 07:36.000] do accept. Accept what happens. It might not be what you considered ideal, [07:36.000 --> 07:41.360] but it's what life has given you, what has resulted from your actions in an unpredictable world. [07:42.160 --> 07:49.360] Accept it, respond, act, and move on. Don't get caught up in things not going your way, [07:49.360 --> 07:56.160] but accept that that's what happened. Again, this way of living won't be for everybody. Some [07:56.240 --> 08:01.840] don't have the freedom to live this way, and others just won't give up control. Some will think [08:01.840 --> 08:07.200] this is a passive way of living, but it really isn't. It's just a way of living in the moment [08:07.200 --> 08:13.360] without being caught up in the future or the past so much. And when we live in the moment, [08:13.360 --> 08:18.960] we're really living life to the fullest. This is the gift of the present. [08:18.960 --> 08:27.840] You just listened to the post titled, How to Give Yourself to Whatever the Moment Brings and [08:27.840 --> 08:34.320] Forget Stress, by Leo Babada of ZenHabits.net, and I'll be right back with my commentary. [08:34.320 --> 08:38.480] Picture that thing you've always wanted to learn. Now picture learning it from the person who's [08:38.480 --> 08:44.400] literally the best at it in the world. That's what you get with Masterclass. 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And right now, our listeners will get an additional 15% [09:28.880 --> 09:37.280] off in annual membership at Masterclass.com slash old. Get 15% off right now at Masterclass.com [09:37.280 --> 09:46.560] slash old. Biggie to Leo, an author I've been reading from since pretty much the beginning [09:46.560 --> 09:52.640] of this podcast in 2015. He covers a wide range of topics, so you can hear him across pretty much [09:52.640 --> 09:57.520] all of our podcasts. I'm sure we've both experienced what Leo talked about in this post, [09:58.080 --> 10:04.720] how we can plan a day pretty much to the minute, and rarely will it actually turn out that way, [10:04.720 --> 10:10.560] because a lot is outside our control. And I don't know about you, but it's usually an extreme for [10:10.560 --> 10:17.280] me, or at least it feels that way, probably because of some bias that I have. So like when I already [10:17.280 --> 10:23.680] have a really busy day planned, it seems like more gets added on. Or the opposite, I could feel [10:23.680 --> 10:28.880] like there's finally not much that I need to do today, but then something will come up and [10:28.880 --> 10:34.960] inevitably fill that time. And that seems to happen a lot. But again, it could just be my [10:34.960 --> 10:41.440] memory remembering those moments because they're extreme. But anyway, I don't think this post is an [10:41.440 --> 10:47.440] all or nothing situation as most things shouldn't be. I don't think we should never plan. It can [10:47.440 --> 10:53.440] definitely be helpful to pencil into your calendar some self care time, for example, like exercising, [10:53.440 --> 11:00.800] meditating, taking a walk and so on. But I think most of us tend to over plan. And this is a good [11:00.800 --> 11:06.880] way to remember that there is a middle path, there's balance. Since things tend to not go as planned, [11:07.520 --> 11:13.600] flexibility is key. So thank you to Leo for this one. Thank you for being here every day. I hope [11:13.600 --> 11:18.240] you're having a great morning or afternoon or evening whenever you're listening to this. [11:18.240 --> 11:22.080] And I'll see you tomorrow, where your optimal life awaits. Transcription results written to '/home/forge/transcribe3.sonicengage.com/releases/20240202210303' directory