3100: Build Your Boundaries by Catherine of Common Sense Living on Self-Care & Assertive Communication

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[00:01:06] Build Your Boundaries by Catherine of CommonSenseLiving.ca and I'm your narrator Justin Mollick reading you blogs every single day of the year including holidays. Now let's get right to it as we optimize your life. Build Your Boundaries by Catherine of CommonSenseLiving.ca.

[00:01:28] Quote, nobody will tell you to set boundaries. All the people around you benefit from your giving nature. Check yourself and slow down if you're giving too much. Sylvester McNutt III. Boundaries have a way of implying a division or blockade of sorts. However over the years I've learned that

[00:01:47] they serve a much greater purpose. Boundaries like walls of a building or a house are meant to protect us, keeping us safe from rain, snow and other storms that could possibly cause us harm.

[00:01:58] When we think of boundaries in the same way we realize that they are there for our protection and not to block out the ones we love. Boundaries are necessary because whether we like it or not

[00:02:09] everyone is not a kind-hearted soul after our well-being. Just like there are good people in this world there will always be people out there that could be called energy drainers. These people

[00:02:19] may not even know they're doing it but they have the power to suck our energy and drain us but only if we allow them to. These people could be colleagues, bosses, family members or even strangers.

[00:02:31] That is why it is so important that we communicate our boundaries and assert them if we are feeling that our energy is being threatened. A lot of the times I've seen that happiness relates a lot to

[00:02:41] how strong someone's boundaries are. More often than not people who are too kind and giving will be taken advantage of. Their giving nature will be seen as a trait to exploit and the wrong people

[00:02:52] will surely swoop in and exploit them until there's nothing left. Here are some ways that you can start enforcing your boundaries in your day-to-day life. Speak up. If you feel exhausted just thinking about

[00:03:05] a situation or if you feel that someone is trying to guide you into a direction that is not authentic to you, say something. Sometimes people may not even be aware of what they are doing. However

[00:03:15] sometimes they are. In a situation like this be prepared to stand your ground and affirm your opinion. There's always a chance that you'll be met with opposition and although it may be tough

[00:03:25] at first resist the urge to relinquish your opinion. It may be easier to try and find a compromise but if your viewpoint is truly something you believe in you need to speak your truth. Think about the

[00:03:37] larger implications here. If you are to be passive in a situation like this what other situations will you be passive in? Speaking up can be hard at first but is a necessary first step in knowing

[00:03:49] what you will and will not tolerate. Remember that only you set your boundaries and only you can communicate when they are being infringed upon. Be prepared for opposition. I've learned recently that

[00:04:01] your boundaries will always be tested when you are not ready. When we least expect it we may encounter someone who has a strong opposing opinion and we have the choice to either let it go or to

[00:04:13] defend ourselves. Most of the time choosing to defend ourselves in a respectful manner is the way to go. We may not agree with others on everything but if the other party is determined to undermine you

[00:04:24] and make you feel small do not accept that behavior. Having a debate is one thing but talking down to someone is another. Knowing what you will and won't tolerate helps when you are building your boundaries.

[00:04:36] When you know what is in your best interest and you affirm it you will start building the basis for strong boundaries. Commit to yourself. Lastly boundary setting is hard but it's something that I

[00:04:48] still struggle with and that a lot of people are struggling with as well. However it is important to know where to draw the line in any situation and to stand your ground. At first it may feel

[00:04:59] foreign and you may even question yourself. You may wonder whether you are making the right decision but if this decision makes you happier in the long run then it is a decision worth fighting for.

[00:05:10] So lean into the discomfort. If you feel a gut instinct to stand up then speak your truth and affirm it. As you continue to do this it will get easier every time eventually developing into a

[00:05:21] habit. So in the end building boundaries helps to protect us and protect our energy. It is a habit that allows us to show up as our full authentic selves while also feeling happy that we live in

[00:05:34] alignment with our values. Rather than creating a dividing line it helps others to understand us better and gives us a better sense of self. In short setting boundaries is a worthwhile practice that helps you show up as the best version of yourself. So set your boundaries unapologetically

[00:05:52] and affirm them. You deserve it. You just listened to the post titled Build Your Boundaries by Catherine of commonsenseliving.ca and I'll be right back with my commentary. Thank you to Catherine.

[00:06:09] I don't disagree. Many people don't have boundaries and do get stepped on but I think we should also consider the opposite side having too many boundaries or walls really going from healthy boundaries to impenetrable walls. That can have the unintended consequences of isolating ourselves

[00:06:30] and removing important experiences that can give us more growth, connection, really just relationships which is critical for our health. While boundaries can block us from past hurts and disappointments they can also simultaneously block us from joy and opportunities, vulnerability

[00:06:50] and genuine connections. And that can make us feel lonely which seems to be more and more of a problem these days despite social media or the internet in general promising the opposite. Connecting to the internet seems to disconnect us from real relationships. So if you find yourself feeling

[00:07:08] more lonely or maybe a bit disconnected or not having deep connections and vulnerability with others, I'd consider that maybe those walls are a bit too rigid. That maybe you're on the other side of this conversation and need to break some walls down. Again not necessarily disagreeing with the

[00:07:27] article but we have to find that balance and I think it's important to consider. So do consider both sides today. Thank you for being here listening all the way through to the end. It means a lot.

[00:07:37] Have a great rest of your day and I'll see you tomorrow where your optimal life awaits.