3103: [Part 1] How to Get Good at Dealing With Massive Change by Leo Babauta of Zen Habits on Personal Growth

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[00:00:38] This is Optimal Living Daily, episode 3103, How to Get Good at Dealing With Massive Change, Part 1 by Leo Babauta of ZenHabits.net, and I'm Justin Malik. Happy Friday, and welcome to one of the only podcasts in the world where articles are narrated to you for free,

[00:00:56] with permission from the authors or websites. And it's an award-winning podcast thanks to you. And today I have a bit of a longer post, so I'll read the first half today and then finish the rest for you tomorrow.

[00:01:07] So with that, let's get right to it and start optimizing your life. How to Get Good at Dealing With Massive Change, Part 1 by Leo Babauta of ZenHabits.net. It can be stressful and anxiety-inducing to be in the middle of a bunch of life changes at once,

[00:01:29] so much so that it can turn a time of change into a time of misery. We all go through times of massive change, a divorce, death in the family, change of job or loss of job, moving to a new home or city,

[00:01:45] turbulence in your relationships, political chaos, and all kinds of uncertainties and demands on your time and attention. It can be overwhelming and distressing. But what if we could get good at dealing with all kinds of changes?

[00:02:01] It would open us up in times of change so that these times can be times of deepening, growth, and even joy. We can train to get good at dealing with times of massive change. Here's a secret. Actually, we're always in times of change.

[00:02:20] If you're waiting for things to settle down, it's a beautiful shift to let go of that and just relax into the groundlessness of it all. Quote, We are always in transition. If you can just relax with that, you'll have no problem. Chögyam Trungpa

[00:02:37] So let's talk about training the mind to get good at dealing with change. The way our mind usually reacts to change. Imagine if your entire life was upended overnight. A storm came and destroyed your home and your job, and you couldn't find everyone you know and love.

[00:02:56] You don't have any possessions and no way to communicate. How would your mind react? It would react out of habitual patterns that have been formed since childhood. Some common ways of reacting to massive change like this? Your mind complains. It doesn't like change that it didn't choose.

[00:03:15] Your mind will have a narrative that asks, Why me? and or gets angry. It's unhappy about the changes. Your mind gets angry at others. It blames and might lash out at them. Your mind asks, Why do they have to be like that?

[00:03:31] This creates distance between you and them. Your mind looks for comfort, a return to what you're used to, what you know, what you've always gone to for comfort. If you become homeless, you might drink a soda or eat french fries or something just to comfort yourself.

[00:03:47] In fact, we comfort ourselves all the time as a way to deal with stress and change. Eating junk food, shopping, TV or YouTube, getting on your phone, social media, etc. Your mind tries to get control.

[00:04:03] This isn't always a bad thing, making a list can be helpful for example. But constantly striving for control isn't helpful. In fact, it can be stressful trying to control the massively uncontrollable. There are helpful ways of coping as well.

[00:04:19] Talking to someone, exercising, meditating, drinking some tea, taking a bath, etc. These are usually habits that people create to cope in a healthier way. However, in the example I've given, a storm making you homeless, and lots of other situations, these options might not be available.

[00:04:40] What we're going to train in is a different way of dealing with change that will help us in any situation and reduce stress, open our minds to chaotic experiences, and help us find joy and gratitude in the midst of turbulence. How to shift the mind

[00:04:59] So other than talking about it and taking a bath, what can we do to shift the way we deal with change? It starts with the idea that disliking change, stress about change, and resistance to change are all in our minds.

[00:05:14] Everything that's stressful and sucky about any change, or a great amount of change, is in our minds. The good news about that is that if it's in our minds, we can work with it.

[00:05:26] We can let go of things, shift things, open up to things, because our minds are adaptable and trainable. The bad news is that we often don't see the things our mind does that causes our difficulties and so we blame external circumstances.

[00:05:43] But with this training, we'll learn to see it. So here's how we can shift how we respond to change and stress. 1. Notice when you're feeling stress or resistance about change.

[00:05:57] Usually you'll be doing one of the reactions mentioned earlier, so it'll become easy to tell with a bit of practice. Going to your favorite social media or news site? You might be resisting something. 2. Drop into the pure experience of the moment.

[00:06:14] You're stressing and resisting because of your thoughts about your situation or others. The thoughts are the cause of your suffering, not the situation. The situation just exists. It's not bad.

[00:06:27] So instead of continuing to be caught up in your thoughts, drop into the pure experience of the present moment. To do this, shift your awareness to what's happening in your body right now. What sensations are there?

[00:06:41] What does the sensation of stress or awareness feel like in your body? Don't judge or get caught up in a narrative about the stress. Just notice. Notice the sensations of your surroundings as well. What sounds can you hear? Notice the light, colors, shapes and textures.

[00:07:00] The feeling of air on your skin or clothes on your body. When your mind gets caught up in thought, just return to the sensation of something happening right now. 3. Open to the wide-open nature of this moment of reality.

[00:07:17] You're in the present moment. Now notice how wide this moment is. It's boundless. Not just the narrow world of your thoughts about your life, thoughts that confine you to a small space, but actually boundless in all directions.

[00:07:33] You can label each thing you notice, like chair, table, myself, dog, tree. Or you can notice that actually it's all just one big field of energy. One big ocean of sensation. An ocean of matter and movement with no separation between any of it.

[00:07:51] Noticing this wide-open nature of reality, not bound by labels, ideas or thoughts, we can let our minds open as vast as the sky. Don't worry if this part is difficult at first. It's something you can train in, which we'll hear on tomorrow's episode.

[00:08:07] You just listened to Part 1 of the post titled How to Get Good at Dealing with Massive Change by Leo Babauta of zenhabits.net and I'll be right back with my commentary. Thank you, Leo. This can work, but I'm sure with massive or really difficult changes,

[00:08:29] it can be hard to implement. So for example, if you just lost your job, dropping into the pure experience of the moment or opening to the wide-open nature of this moment, as he said, it might not be the answer you're looking for.

[00:08:44] It could sound a bit woo-woo, as they like to say. But for smaller stressors, I do think this could work. We're actually going to get into a specific practice that he recommends tomorrow and I'll give you some more commentary on that.

[00:08:57] But for today, I think maybe with smaller things, smaller changes, maybe just try to catch what's going on in your head and body. Are you fighting it? And why? Just that practice alone could make a big difference, at least in my experience.

[00:09:14] It does take work, but hopefully if you check in enough, it'll become a bit more second nature. Definitely try it out. But again, we'll get into a specific practice he recommends tomorrow. So with that, stick around for tomorrow's show. Thank you for being here and listening every day

[00:09:30] and I'll see you there for part two, where your optimal life awaits.