3109: Simplicity is Not a Destination by Courtney Carver of Be More With Less on Daily Minimalism

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[00:00:56] This is Optimal Living Daily Episode 3109. Simplicity is not a destination by Cornicarver

[00:01:07] of Bemore's less.com and a mere narrator Justin Malik reading you blogs every single

[00:01:12] day of the year including holidays. And we're going to get right to today's post as

[00:01:17] we optimize your life. Simplicity is not a destination by Cornicarver

[00:01:26] of Bemore's less.com We have this obsession with arriving as if we're meant to be in one

[00:01:34] specific place, state of mind or lifestyle forever and ever. And then when that journey takes

[00:01:41] longer than we think or transition is harder than we expected, we go in a different direction

[00:01:47] hoping to arrive somewhere else. Or we beat ourselves up for not being as dedicated,

[00:01:53] fast, happy or brilliant as someone else on a similar journey.

[00:01:59] Measuring success based on arrival time or place will lead to complete dissatisfaction.

[00:02:06] We don't have ultimate control, everything is changing within us and around us. And

[00:02:11] by the time we get to where we thought we were supposed to be, it doesn't meet our expectations

[00:02:16] and we want something else. I've gone through stages of frustration trying to reach a

[00:02:21] simpler place and was curious about your experience. When I asked what was most frustrating

[00:02:27] to you, I realized that we all have similar struggles. These are a few of the responses

[00:02:33] I received. There seems to never be an end no finish line for when I've arrived at

[00:02:39] the level of simplicity I'm seeking. I'm frustrated that it takes so long to let go

[00:02:44] of the accumulation of 35 plus years of excessive living. Speed, I want it done now and

[00:02:51] it's all taking so long and I've been at it for a long time already.

[00:02:57] Simplicity is a practice, not a destination. While there may be exceptions, for most

[00:03:03] of us simplicity is a daily practice, not some magical clutter free room where we arrive.

[00:03:11] Even when you're living a seemingly simple life, clutter accumulates the unexpected phone

[00:03:16] call complicates your day, friends give you gifts that you don't know what to do with and

[00:03:21] family members aren't on the same page. All of those things happen and more. Life is messy.

[00:03:29] Instead of trying to change everything and everyone around you, except that there

[00:03:33] is no finish line and no prize for having more or less, this is not a competition or

[00:03:39] race. Simplicity is a practice. When you realize that the greatest benefits of simplicity

[00:03:46] come from the practice, you can start enjoying the process instead of being anxious to arrive.

[00:03:53] Seven ways to practice simplicity. Instead of working towards a goal that seems out of reach,

[00:03:59] implement a daily practice and start enjoying the rewards now.

[00:04:04] Number one, put you first. You spend the day giving. You give your time, space and energy to

[00:04:13] your family, friends, work, and many other things. If you're lucky, you find a little time to

[00:04:19] unwind during the day, but it doesn't happen every day. If you want to continue to give,

[00:04:25] you have to put you first. A morning routine of five to 30 minutes just for you every morning

[00:04:32] will change how you give. Wake up five minutes early and move slowly instead of

[00:04:37] cursing the alarm clock and speeding through the morning, making sure everyone has what they need.

[00:04:43] You first. It's not selfish, it's necessary.

[00:04:47] Number two, declutter every day. Keep a small box by a convenient exit in your home

[00:04:55] and drop things that you don't use in it every day. When it's full, tape it up and donate it. Repeat.

[00:05:03] Number three, build a $1,000 emergency fund. Even if you have debt, make a small contribution

[00:05:11] on a regular basis to build a $1,000 emergency fund. It'll simplify your life in so many ways.

[00:05:19] Unexpected expenses are stressful and can really complicate and shake up your life.

[00:05:24] Eliminate that stress with an emergency fund. It was our first step in becoming debt-free.

[00:05:31] Number four, ask for help. Host a simplicity summit with your spouse and or family members.

[00:05:38] You can't expect everyone in your family to be as interested in simplifying as you are,

[00:05:43] but include them and listen to them. Ask great questions, celebrate progress,

[00:05:49] and highlight some of the benefits you've enjoyed as a result of simplifying.

[00:05:54] Number five, document your practice. Sometimes it's hard to remember how much progress you've made.

[00:06:02] Write in a journal about your daily progress or photograph the things you're giving away.

[00:06:08] You could shoot before and after pictures of your rooms or even start a blog.

[00:06:13] Number six, connect with comparison. Connect with people sharing their simplicity

[00:06:19] journeys. Read books and blogs and connect with the writers on Twitter or Facebook.

[00:06:26] Don't compare your journey, but share your experience. Ask questions. Be supported and inspired by

[00:06:33] like-minded people. And then support and inspire them right back.

[00:06:38] And number seven, discover what you love. Simplifying your life is rewarding,

[00:06:44] but you might get bored with the process if it's all consuming.

[00:06:48] The best part of getting rid of the things that don't matter is that you build time and space to

[00:06:54] discover what is truly meaningful to you. Discover and engage. Simplicity paves the way for you

[00:07:01] to start doing the things you really love. If simplicity is a practice and not a destination,

[00:07:07] you don't have to wait to get started. You don't have to be discouraged at how slowly or quickly it goes

[00:07:14] and you can measure your success in joy and happiness instead of arrival time and place.

[00:07:26] You just listen to the post titled Simplicity is not a destination by corny carver of Bemore's

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[00:09:29] Get when we're in the daily grind. This applies to a lot more than minimalism or simplicity.

[00:09:35] Finances is a big one. It's really easy to think that once we have a certain amount of money

[00:09:40] or buy a house, or even win the lottery then we can do x, y and z. And then we'll be happy.

[00:09:48] But time and time again has been shown that it doesn't work that way at all. And lottery winners

[00:09:54] typically end up less happy than before. We might think we're different and that will save

[00:09:59] the money and so on but that's still getting into that thinking that there's this end point of

[00:10:05] happiness which just doesn't exist. The same for our health. Once I reach x pounds or look a

[00:10:12] certain way then I'll be happy. It's the same flawed thinking and really just a big trap.

[00:10:18] If we can get over this idea and instead look for ways to make that fitness routine or

[00:10:24] even tracking our money or budgeting somehow enjoyable or at least interesting.

[00:10:30] Well then we don't have to always be looking for some solution at the end.

[00:10:35] So thank you to Courtney for the reminder. Thank you for being here. Hope you have a great

[00:10:39] rest of your day and I'll see you tomorrow as usual where your optimal life awaits.