3110: 7 Things You Need to Stop Doing Every Day by Marc Chernoff of Marc and Angel on Productivity & Improved Relationships

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[00:00:29] This is Optimal Living Daily Episode 3110. Seven things you need to stop doing every

[00:00:35] day by Mark Shernoff of Markandangel.com, and I'm Justin Malik. And I'm going to jump

[00:00:40] right into today's post as we optimize your life. Seven things you need to stop doing

[00:00:50] every day by Mark Shernoff of Markandangel.com. If you get decent value for making to-do lists,

[00:00:59] you'll also get significant returns in productivity and improved relationships, in financial stability,

[00:01:06] and in heightened levels of happiness from adding certain things to a two-don't list. As

[00:01:13] you may have guessed, a two-don't list is a list of things not to do. It might seem

[00:01:17] a bit amusing but it's an incredibly useful tool for keeping track of unproductive habits

[00:01:23] like these. Number one, worrying about the wrong people. The ladies of the real housewives

[00:01:31] of Orange County, they'll survive without you. The family members and friends of Duck

[00:01:36] Dynasty, they won't notice your absence if you stop watching their show. Even the private

[00:01:42] lives of your elected politicians and local public figures means nothing in the grand scheme

[00:01:48] of your own life. But your significant other, your friends, your children, your siblings,

[00:01:55] extended family members, business partners, employees and customers, these are the people

[00:02:01] who truly matter to you. Give them your time and attention. They're

[00:02:06] the ones who deserve it. And as you meet new individuals, be polite but don't try

[00:02:11] to be best friends with everyone. Take things slow and remain focused on your core people,

[00:02:18] the individuals whose absence would immediately make your life last fulfilling.

[00:02:24] Number two, focusing all your attention on future events instead of present moments. This

[00:02:31] moment will never happen again. Look around. Cherish your time as you're living it. Work

[00:02:37] toward something but enjoy the journey of getting from here to there. Experience each

[00:02:43] step. Don't succumb to a vicious cycle of overbearing productivity that forces you

[00:02:48] to constantly think about every imaginable time and place except right here, right now.

[00:02:55] It's often hard to tell the true value of a moment until it becomes a memory. And someday

[00:03:00] you'll likely discover that the small moments you're living now are really the big ones

[00:03:04] worth dreaming about. So learn to appreciate what you have now before time forces you

[00:03:11] to appreciate what you had then.

[00:03:15] Number three, delaying decisions. Sometimes it doesn't take as much strength to do things

[00:03:21] as it does to decide what to do. Life is filled with difficult decisions. As he move

[00:03:27] through life, he'll come up on many forks in the road where both paths look equally as promising.

[00:03:34] The important thing is not which path you choose, but that you do in fact choose a path.

[00:03:41] Deciding sometimes hurts. Not knowing which path to take can be painful. But nothing is

[00:03:47] more disheartening than never making a decision. If you never choose the road, you'll never

[00:03:52] know where it leads. So when you're faced with two equally good options, don't be one of

[00:03:57] the people who choose the third option to not choose.

[00:04:02] Number four, saying yes when you really mean no. Stop over-committing while saying yes

[00:04:09] can take you down some wonderful roads. There's also a ton of value in saying no. Your time

[00:04:14] in life is extremely limited. Do you really want to give it away so easily? If you don't

[00:04:20] have time to commit to a new project, fulfill a favor, etc., it's a good idea to just say

[00:04:26] no. Refusing a new request from friends, family, customers, etc., can be difficult. But rarely

[00:04:34] is it as stressful as over-committing and leaving no time for yourself. The ambition to

[00:04:40] be successful in life is not always the biggest challenge narrowing the number of commitments

[00:04:45] to be successful in is. Even when you have the knowledge and ability to access highly productive

[00:04:51] states, you get to a point where being simultaneously productive on too many fronts at once causes

[00:04:58] all activities to slow down, stand still, and sometimes even slide backwards. Bottom line, say no

[00:05:07] when you know you should.

[00:05:09] Number five, buying stuff you don't need. Proper money management is one of the most beneficial

[00:05:15] skills we can master to create a comfortable, happy future for ourselves. And yet it's a skill

[00:05:21] that we're often culturally cut off from understanding. The consumer society we live in

[00:05:27] tries to make us feel that happiness lies in owning things and continuously buying new things

[00:05:34] and fails to teach us about the happiness not found in things. When external influences suddenly

[00:05:40] motivate you to consider a new purchase, ask yourself this. Is this thing I'm thinking of

[00:05:46] purchasing really better than the things I already have? Do I really need it? Or am I just being

[00:05:52] persuaded to be displeased with what I have now? You've heard the saying, the best things in life

[00:05:58] are free. Believe it. Spending time with friends, laughing and enjoying the antics of a pet, seeing a

[00:06:06] child smile, experiencing intimate and heartfelt moments with a significant other. These gifts

[00:06:13] are precious and free. Money brings comfort and there's nothing wrong with enjoying that comfort,

[00:06:19] but it's important to spend money on the things that matter to you and let go of spending that

[00:06:24] doesn't add value to your life. Spend on what you need but don't forget why you're buying

[00:06:30] what you're buying or the spending will become a destructive habit.

[00:06:35] Number 6. Gossiping

[00:06:38] Gossip is the evil. If you want to know something about someone, ask. Don't assume

[00:06:44] that's how gossip grows and spreads. If you've talked to more than one person about something

[00:06:50] someone else is doing, it's time to step forward and actually talk to the person you've been talking

[00:06:56] about. And if it's truly not your place to talk to this person, it's likely not your place to

[00:07:01] talk about them either. Ultimately, you should focus on judging less, loving more and resisting

[00:07:08] the temptation to gossip about others or portray them in a poor light. Be impeccable with your words,

[00:07:15] speak with integrity. Avoid using your words to gossip about others. Use the power of your voice

[00:07:22] to spread truth and love only. And number 7. Filling every waking moment with activity.

[00:07:31] Down time is imperative. In all walks of life, the highest human performance occurs when there's

[00:07:37] an equilibrium between activity and rest. This is due to the fact that the human body is designed

[00:07:43] to labor in short pulses and requires rest and renewal at regular intervals, both physically and

[00:07:49] mentally. In other words, your productive working days should look something like this. Activity,

[00:07:56] short rest, activity, short rest, etc. Make time every day to not be busy. Have dedicated

[00:08:04] downtime moments, clear points in the day to reflect, rest and recharge. Don't fool yourself.

[00:08:12] You're not so busy that you can't afford a few minutes of sanity. You deserve quiet moments

[00:08:17] away from the daily hustle in which no problems are confronted, no solutions are explored and no

[00:08:24] demands are being made of your time. At least twice a day while you're awake, withdraw yourself

[00:08:30] from the sources of stress that refuse to withdraw from you. Do so for a few minutes and simply be

[00:08:38] and breathe. You just listen to the post titled 7 Things You Need to Stop Doing Every Day

[00:08:48] by Mark Schernoff of Markandangel.com and I'll be right back with my commentary.

[00:08:53] One of the best things you can do for your kids is to teach them how to manage money,

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[00:09:55] Thank you to Mark some good ones to think about. It's sort of a minimalism for the mind kind of

[00:10:00] episode. We usually talk about minimalism in terms of possessions but decluttering

[00:10:05] intangibles helps just as much. And I know I'm guilty of these from time to time, for example,

[00:10:12] while I don't necessarily fill all my time with activity, that thought of not doing something

[00:10:18] quote unquote productive can make me feel guilty. Which to me is just as bad as filling that time

[00:10:25] to stay busy just for the sake of it. Doing more of what actually matters as opposed to

[00:10:31] more just for the sake of more is important and a good way to think about it.

[00:10:36] And as for buying things, I think I've gotten better over the years with this one.

[00:10:41] Having this podcast as a daily reminder definitely helps. Plus I'm sure the fact that I've

[00:10:45] listened to every single episode of Optimal Finance daily too makes compulsive shopping much

[00:10:51] less likely. And last I've been tracking all of my income and expenses since 2010. A very

[00:10:57] long time. So every time I make a purchase, I have to see that transaction and review it.

[00:11:04] All of those things help. And by the way, if you'd like to track your own income and expenses,

[00:11:09] you can get a free trial of what I use at oldpodcast.com slash track.

[00:11:15] But as you do it for today, have a great rest of your day. Thank you for being here.

[00:11:19] And I'll see you tomorrow for the Friday show where your Optimal Life awaits.