3113: Rejecting Consumer Norms Changed My Financial Life Forever by Lisa Harrison of Mad Money Monster

[00:00:00] Hi, Bob Gaspeable. I'm Vanessa and I just use myself directed IRA to invest in renewable energy.

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[00:00:09] I dabbled in crypto but wanted something less volatile for my retirement.

[00:00:12] Bye bye, blockchain. Like being an investor in solar technology.

[00:00:17] Make it rain, Vanessa. I mean, it's solar but yeah, I get the metaphor.

[00:00:21] Can your IRA invest in alternative assets?

[00:00:24] A new direction trust company? The answer is yes.

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[00:00:57] Get right to the bonus episode and Diana's commentary as we optimize your life.

[00:01:27] Rejecting consumer norms didn't come easily.

[00:01:38] Rejecting consumer norms I had bought into as a child didn't come easily.

[00:01:43] After all, I wanted all the markers of success I didn't have growing up.

[00:01:47] I wanted flashy clothes, a fancy car and most of all I wanted the big house.

[00:01:53] And for the most part, I was able to check all of those boxes off my list by the time I hit 30 years old.

[00:02:00] Then long story short, my relationship fell apart and I lost it all.

[00:02:04] I had to restart my entire life from the ground up and the inside out.

[00:02:09] At that point, I didn't really know who I was.

[00:02:11] I had an internal image of myself that I presented to the world predicated on the things that I had acquired.

[00:02:18] Bottom line, my stuff ruled my life.

[00:02:21] You might think that restarting my life at 30 with absolutely nothing meant hitting rock bottom,

[00:02:26] but you would be wrong. It meant hitting an emotional rock bottom.

[00:02:30] It fundamentally changed me on an emotional level but not on a financial one.

[00:02:35] My desire to achieve everything I had before the breakup like flashy clothes,

[00:02:40] a fancy car and a big house was even stronger.

[00:02:44] After the breakup, I needed to prove to myself, my ex and the world that I could acquire all of

[00:02:50] those markers of success on my own. Consumer norms all the way.

[00:02:55] It took me a few years, but eventually I was living the consumerism dream again,

[00:03:00] but this time I was doing it on my own.

[00:03:03] My stupid post breakup financial moves.

[00:03:07] All retirement savings were suspended.

[00:03:09] I needed that money to buy stuff.

[00:03:11] I purchased flashy clothes, enjoyed expensive dinners and through lavish parties.

[00:03:16] My luxury 4x4 SUV was not on the chopping block.

[00:03:21] That was status-y, it had to stay.

[00:03:24] I rented an apartment even though I had a rental home my mom was living in.

[00:03:28] I purchased a second home with only $200 in my bank account after closing.

[00:03:33] It wasn't that I had no insight into the world of finances, quite the contrary.

[00:03:38] I had always been motivated to save and change the financial landscape I grew up in.

[00:03:42] Hence, all the good money moves I made as a very young adult.

[00:03:46] Immediately upon graduating from college, I was contributing a significant amount to my 401k,

[00:03:51] maxing out an IRA and had purchased a rental property.

[00:03:55] The problem was that I had crossed a few wires in my head and was confusing what it meant to be

[00:04:00] successful. And unfortunately, the fire community wasn't as mainstream then as it is today.

[00:04:07] I struggled with projecting an image of wealth as opposed to actually building it

[00:04:11] as many people do. Despite having a high salary during the above fiasco,

[00:04:17] I continued to repeat a litany of lies to myself and others saying that I couldn't save more

[00:04:22] invest for my future, etc. Why? Because I was alone.

[00:04:27] I didn't have a partner or husband with an income like so many other women at my age.

[00:04:31] If I had that, I could have it all. I could have the image of success and actual money in the bank.

[00:04:38] Scared straight, hitting financial rock bottom.

[00:04:42] Then it happened. I met someone and we clicked. We got married and we continued to live the life

[00:04:47] I had been living alone. We were both chasing the image of success rather than actual success.

[00:04:54] This meant expensive dinners out and shopping for a bigger house.

[00:04:58] We finally hit financial rock bottom together when we nearly purchased that big house we couldn't

[00:05:04] comfortably afford. That big house was the very last thing I wanted under my belt to prove my worth.

[00:05:11] In the end, we decided that panic attacks and night sweats over the expense didn't justify

[00:05:16] the purchase. We walked and were so happy we did. It was at that moment that we rebooted our

[00:05:23] financial lives and rededicated ourselves to changing our financial family tree. Retraining our

[00:05:30] financial brains. After the near suicidal purchase of that big house, it didn't take us long to

[00:05:36] retrain our financial brains. We found the fire community and a plethora of personal finance

[00:05:42] blogs that spoke to us. We were able to see clearly and realize what it actually meant to build wealth

[00:05:48] and be successful. We even figured out our net worth. It wasn't stunning but at least it was

[00:05:53] negative. Our financial motivation switched from embracing consumer norms to rejecting them in

[00:05:59] exchange for hefty investing and a more carefree lifestyle. We realized we didn't need all the

[00:06:05] stuff that society tells us are markers of wealth, and we were finally relieved and happy.

[00:06:11] Rejecting a life of consumption for a life of frugality has helped us tremendously along the way.

[00:06:17] These days we're happy with Sunday hikes, spaghetti dinners, and playing board games.

[00:06:22] It's a stark contrast from the life we've been living, but it's so much more enjoyable.

[00:06:27] And the peace of mind that comes along with knowing we have plenty of financial backing should

[00:06:31] something go awry is one of the best feelings I've ever experienced.

[00:06:39] You just listen to the post titled, Rejecting Consumer Norms Change My Financial Life Forever

[00:06:45] by Lisa Harrison of MadMoneyMonster.com

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[00:08:04] This article made me reflect on why we want the stuff we want. If no one was watching how would we

[00:08:11] be spending our time and money? How do we know that our desires are really ours or if they're more

[00:08:17] rooted in what society tells us we should want? I suspect that many of us just want peace of mind.

[00:08:24] We want time to enjoy life and to love the people around us. But when we chase external markers

[00:08:30] of success by buying things we can't afford to impress people we might not even like, it can become

[00:08:36] a real distraction from the bigger picture. I like to joke that the key for me in building

[00:08:42] mouth is not looking like I have any money. No one would look at my 2010 Mazda 3 that I spent $6,000

[00:08:49] on and think I'm killing it. But I don't concern myself with that. I'm looking at my net worth

[00:08:55] a lot more than I'm looking at my car. And I actually have an obnoxious bumper sticker on my car

[00:09:00] that says my other vehicle is a 401k. So it's not like I'm completely immune to this kind of

[00:09:07] posturing. There's a great book called The Millionaire Next Door which is based on a long term

[00:09:12] study of people who are actually wealthy. The main thing I got out of it is that many people who

[00:09:18] live luxurious lives are actually drowning in debt and have very little wealth. For those of us

[00:09:24] who want to become wealthy, it would benefit us to see through the smoke and mirrors that is consumerism

[00:09:30] and focus on saving and investing instead. That's a wrap for another Monday show, have a great

[00:09:36] rest of your day and start to your week and I'll be back tomorrow where your optimal life awaits.