3141: [Part 1] How to Make Your Own Luck by Mark Manson on Behaviors & Mindsets for More Opportunities

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[00:01:07] This is Optimal Living Daily, episode 3141 How To Make Your Own Luck, part one by

[00:01:13] Mark Manson of markmanson.net and I'm Justin Malik.

[00:01:17] Happy middle of the week Wednesday and welcome to one of the only podcasts in the world

[00:01:21] where blogs are narrated to you for free, a little bit of positivity every day, which

[00:01:26] adds up after time.

[00:01:28] And sometimes I read longer posts that I split up into two and that's the case today.

[00:01:32] I'll read the first half today and then finish the rest tomorrow.

[00:01:36] So with that let's get right to part one and start optimizing your life.

[00:01:44] How To Make Your Own Luck, part one by Mark Manson of markmanson.net

[00:01:51] We've all had the feeling at some point in our lives where it seems other people catch

[00:01:55] all the lucky breaks while we seem to be screwing everything up.

[00:01:59] It's a common perceptual bias.

[00:02:02] In other people we focus on the successful result, not the toil and struggle they endure

[00:02:08] to reach it or the missed opportunities and growth experiences they suffer through.

[00:02:14] While in ourselves all we're aware of is the toil and struggle we endure and

[00:02:19] not the success that is readily apparent to others.

[00:02:23] It's a kind of blind man's bluff that we're all doomed to continue playing throughout our

[00:02:29] lives.

[00:02:30] The concept of luck stems from this perceptual bias, the belief that some people's existence

[00:02:36] defies mathematical probability that because they have it and we don't, they're violating

[00:02:42] the universe's probabilities.

[00:02:44] The truth is, across the spectrum of a lifetime we all receive both opportunities and setbacks

[00:02:51] in healthy doses.

[00:02:53] Some of us may defy the odds early in life perhaps by being born into perfect circumstances

[00:02:59] and then face unfair or unlikely challenges later on.

[00:03:04] Others may be born into squalid conditions but as they grow they meet great opportunities

[00:03:10] that change everything for them.

[00:03:12] Or sometimes chance can be just that, random chance.

[00:03:17] My grandfather started seven businesses throughout his lifetime.

[00:03:20] He became a millionaire once and went bankrupt twice.

[00:03:25] He finally sold his last business for a modest sum so he could retire in rural Texas with

[00:03:29] his remaining comforts.

[00:03:31] A few years later they struck oil on his property.

[00:03:35] A lifetime of hard work, risk taking, spectacular successes and more spectacular failures.

[00:03:42] In the minute he hangs it all up and calls it quits, he struck oil.

[00:03:47] Life's cruel roll of the dice.

[00:03:49] But the truth is we can actually control our luck to a certain extent.

[00:03:55] Although we may not directly affect the major opportunities that enter our life at any

[00:03:59] given moment like finding oil on our property, we can indirectly influence how many opportunities

[00:04:06] spring up and the ferocity with which we pounce on them.

[00:04:11] In fact if we define luck as the number of beneficial opportunities in life events that

[00:04:16] happen to us which aren't completely in our control, recent research not only finds

[00:04:22] that some people are much luckier than others but that those lucky people have

[00:04:27] quite a few things in common.

[00:04:30] And no, it's not rabbit's feet or a derse of black cats.

[00:04:35] Lucky people have specific behaviors and mindsets which cause them to encounter far

[00:04:40] more opportunities and advantages than others on average.

[00:04:45] You can in effect train yourself to become a lucky person if you so choose.

[00:04:52] Number one, be a social butterfly.

[00:04:56] The first Richard Wiseman is an authority on luck or what is perceived as luck in our lives.

[00:05:02] In his book, The Luck Factor, Wiseman found that the best predictor of how many lucky breaks

[00:05:07] a person has was how social and interconnected they were with those around them.

[00:05:14] Lucky people enjoy connecting and relating to other people and are comfortable doing

[00:05:18] so.

[00:05:19] When presented with new social situations, unlucky people talk to people they already

[00:05:25] knew or people who were most like themselves, whereas lucky people talk to a large array

[00:05:31] of people equally.

[00:05:34] Most of life's opportunities don't land on us mysteriously.

[00:05:37] They come through our networks, our connections, people we stumble across at random.

[00:05:43] My one and only attempt at a day job was landed through an acquaintance I had made

[00:05:48] when I was going out five nights a week in Boston back in 2007.

[00:05:52] I once landed an audition for a touring rock band by randomly meeting the singer at a fourth

[00:05:57] of July party.

[00:05:59] He and I happened to be hitting on the same girl.

[00:06:02] A blogger recently wrote about sitting down in a coffee shop to work on his laptop and

[00:06:06] accidentally striking up a conversation with an old man who just happened to have

[00:06:10] invented the first ever programmable computer and spent the afternoon chatting with him.

[00:06:17] Wiseman states in his book, quote,

[00:06:19] I discovered that being in the right place at the right time is actually all about being

[00:06:25] in the right state of mind.

[00:06:27] Lucky people increase their odds of chance encounters or experiences by interacting

[00:06:32] with a large number of people.

[00:06:34] And that makes perfect sense.

[00:06:36] Chance opportunities are a numbers game.

[00:06:39] The more people and perspectives in your sphere of reference, the more likely good

[00:06:43] insights and opportunities will combine, end quote.

[00:06:48] As the old saying goes, it's not what you know, but who you know.

[00:06:53] Number two, hear that on tomorrow's episode.

[00:07:00] You just listened to part one of the post titled, How to Make Your Own Luck by Mark

[00:07:05] Manson of markmanson.net and I'll be right back with my commentary.

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[00:08:15] They get a mark, I'll finish the longer half of this post for you tomorrow.

[00:08:19] There's definitely a bias where we tend to see the luck of others but don't see it

[00:08:24] in our own lives even though it is there.

[00:08:27] If you play a game of chance, you'll probably remember all the times you were unlucky

[00:08:32] yet remember the times when others were lucky.

[00:08:35] When in fact over time it all averages out and we're getting the same luck.

[00:08:40] I could definitely relate to that idea.

[00:08:43] And I have to agree quote unquote luck does often come about through networks.

[00:08:48] I guess that's why LinkedIn exists but those in person real connections are way more important.

[00:08:55] So in business school we were forced to get an internship over summer break.

[00:09:00] My health wasn't the best at the time and I was anxious.

[00:09:03] Definitely not looking forward to trying to find an internship during that time.

[00:09:09] I wasn't sure where to start.

[00:09:11] Now some months before at a friend's birthday I happened to meet a comedian.

[00:09:16] He's also been in a few movies.

[00:09:18] I thought he looked familiar but couldn't pinpoint it and I'm not a social butterfly at all but he is.

[00:09:24] And we talked about random things like where the best food is in LA since I was new to the area.

[00:09:30] And then at the end I got a picture with him.

[00:09:33] Well, a different friend actually more of an acquaintance saw that picture and was like

[00:09:38] wow you met him I love that guy.

[00:09:41] And then I caught up with her a little bit and noticed that she was working at Warner Brothers Records

[00:09:46] which would be an amazing place to intern especially since I was much more into music back then.

[00:09:53] So I said well if I ever have a chance to meet him again I'll bring you along

[00:09:58] especially if you could get me an internship at Warner Brothers Records.

[00:10:02] And she was quick to say sure and that's how I landed an internship.

[00:10:06] And again this is from a shy introvert type.

[00:10:10] So maybe it was luck but maybe not.

[00:10:13] I definitely had to put some pieces together to make that happen and actually

[00:10:18] I never saw that actor comedian again so I still owe my friend for the internship.

[00:10:22] It's something I still think about from time to time well over a decade later.

[00:10:26] Hopefully she's not mad at me.

[00:10:28] But anyway just a little story from my own life that I thought related

[00:10:32] and we're just halfway through the article for now so with that

[00:10:35] thank you for being here listening every day and I'll be back tomorrow to finish up this post

[00:10:40] where your optimal life awaits.