3158: 8 Things You Must Give Up to Find Peace by Marc Chernoff of Marc and Angel on Happiness

[00:00:00] This is Optimal Living Daily, Episode 3158, Eight Things You Must Give Up To Find Peace

[00:00:07] by Mark Shurnoff of markandangel.com and I'm Justin Malik, your very own personal narrator.

[00:00:14] Welcome to Optimal Living Daily, OLD for short where I read the best blogs to you with permission

[00:00:19] from the authors covering productivity, minimalism, personal development, all that good stuff.

[00:00:26] With that, let's get right to another post and start optimizing your life.

[00:00:34] Eight Things You Must Give Up To Find Peace by Mark Shurnoff of markandangel.com

[00:00:40] Quote, Peace cannot be kept by force, it can only be achieved by understanding.

[00:00:50] Albert Einstein Peace of mind transpires and thrives when you

[00:00:55] let go of the things that limit your growth and happiness.

[00:01:00] You work for this peace every time you give up, number one, old regrets and excuses.

[00:01:08] You can't always choose what happens to you but you can always choose how you feel

[00:01:13] about it and what you do about it.

[00:01:15] You don't have to be defined by the things you did or didn't do in the past.

[00:01:21] Don't let yourself be controlled by regret.

[00:01:24] Maybe there's something you could have done differently or maybe not, either way it's

[00:01:28] merely something that has already happened.

[00:01:32] Be done with these old regrets.

[00:01:34] They're just an excuse for people who have failed and failing only happens if you

[00:01:39] learn nothing and give up.

[00:01:42] 99% of all failures come from people who have a habit of making these empty excuses.

[00:01:49] Think about it, you rarely fail for the things you do, you fail for the things you don't

[00:01:55] do, the business you leave unfinished, the things you make excuses about for the rest

[00:02:00] of your life.

[00:02:02] Number two, the burning desire to have all the answers.

[00:02:07] Accept the feeling of not knowing exactly where you are going and train yourself to love

[00:02:13] and appreciate this sensation of freedom.

[00:02:16] Because it is only when you are suspended in the air with no destination in sight that

[00:02:21] you force your wings to open fully so you can fly.

[00:02:25] And as you soar around, you still may not know where you're traveling to but

[00:02:29] that's not what's important.

[00:02:31] What's important is the opening of your wings.

[00:02:34] You may not know where you're going but you know that so long as your wings are spread,

[00:02:39] the winds will carry you forward.

[00:02:43] Number three, the false hope of a pain-free life.

[00:02:47] Pain is a part of life and life's pains have many shapes and sizes.

[00:02:53] There's the cold feet pain of moving on, graduating, taking the next step or walking

[00:02:59] away from the familiar and into the unknown.

[00:03:03] There's the sharp growing pains of trial and error, of failing as you learn the best

[00:03:08] way forward.

[00:03:09] There's the immense dizzying pain of life slapping you in the face when everything

[00:03:13] you thought you knew wasn't true or everything you had planned for falls through.

[00:03:20] There are the more ambiguous aches and pains of successes when you actually get what

[00:03:25] you hoped for but then realize that it's not quite what you had envisioned.

[00:03:29] And then from time to time there are the warm tingling pains you feel when you realize that

[00:03:34] you're standing in a moment of sweet perfection, a priceless instant of achievement or happiness

[00:03:40] which you know cannot possibly last and yet will remain with you forever.

[00:03:47] Even though so many folks forget, pain is actually a good thing.

[00:03:52] It means you're breathing and trying and interacting with the endless possibilities

[00:03:57] in this world.

[00:03:59] Pain is for the living only.

[00:04:01] It's worth fully accepting and dealing with while you still have a chance.

[00:04:07] Number four, ties to insensitive people.

[00:04:11] People are extremely difficult to change.

[00:04:14] Throughout your lifetime people will make you mad, disrespect you, and treat you badly.

[00:04:20] Don't consume yourself with trying to change them or win their approval.

[00:04:24] And don't make any space in your heart to hate them.

[00:04:27] Simply walk away and let karma deal with the things they do because any bit of time you

[00:04:32] spend on them will be wasted and any bit of hate in your heart will only hurt you.

[00:04:39] Number five, obsessing yourself with negative news.

[00:04:44] For every prominent newscaster who howls about how bleak and unjust life is there

[00:04:50] are thousands of other people behind the scenes working tirelessly to make a positive

[00:04:55] difference in the world.

[00:04:57] For every disheartening crisis that is breathlessly reported there are thousands of real meaningful

[00:05:03] success stories that don't get the attention they deserve but that have an enormous positive

[00:05:08] ripple effect on humanity.

[00:05:11] Try not to obsess over the negative news, learn from it and use your knowledge to

[00:05:16] work your way eagerly toward a brighter tomorrow.

[00:05:19] Life does get better and better when you choose to make it so.

[00:05:24] Number six, the belief that fulfillment resides in the end result.

[00:05:31] Fulfillment is not a matter of achieving a specific goal, it's a matter of mindfully

[00:05:36] enjoying the process required to achieve that goal.

[00:05:40] Fulfillment flows from focusing your life around specific and authentically held intentions,

[00:05:46] ideas and activities that genuinely speak to your purpose.

[00:05:49] When these intentions are clear, consistent and meaningful you have sufficient means to

[00:05:54] bring fulfillment and joy to your life whether you ever fully achieve your intended goal

[00:06:00] or not.

[00:06:01] In other words, the right journey is the destination.

[00:06:07] Number seven, measuring your success by material wealth.

[00:06:12] We're bombarded with images of stuff with the implication that this stuff somehow

[00:06:16] elevates personal value and success.

[00:06:19] So I encourage you to think about how much of your self-worth is connected to owning,

[00:06:24] giving and getting stuff because truthfully success, happiness and peace of mind have

[00:06:32] little to do with stuff.

[00:06:34] So what does help create these things?

[00:06:37] To laugh often and love genuinely.

[00:06:40] To respect others and judge less.

[00:06:43] To win the affection and sincere smiles of children.

[00:06:47] To earn the regard of honest peers and endure the betrayal of fake friends.

[00:06:53] To appreciate the beauty surrounding you wherever, whenever you are.

[00:06:57] To find the good in people and situations.

[00:07:00] To give what you can and leave the world a little better than you found it.

[00:07:05] To have explored ideas and passions and sung at the top of your lungs with jubilation.

[00:07:11] To know that at least one life has breathed easier because you have lived.

[00:07:17] This is what makes a life successful.

[00:07:20] This is how happiness and peace of mind are attained.

[00:07:24] And number eight, the need to keep everything the same.

[00:07:29] Things change.

[00:07:30] People and circumstances come and go.

[00:07:33] Life doesn't stop for anybody.

[00:07:36] Life moves very fast.

[00:07:38] It rushes from calm to chaos in a matter of seconds.

[00:07:41] It happens like this to people every day.

[00:07:44] It's happening to someone right now.

[00:07:47] Sometimes the shortest split second in time changes the direction of our lives.

[00:07:53] Seemingly innocuous decision rattles our whole world like a meteorite striking earth.

[00:07:59] Entire lives have been swiveled and flipped upside down for better or worse on the

[00:08:04] strength of an unpredictable event.

[00:08:07] Most of the time these changes come when you're not asking for them and not expecting

[00:08:12] them but they happen.

[00:08:15] So are we helpless?

[00:08:16] Are we puppets?

[00:08:18] No.

[00:08:19] These changes are going to come.

[00:08:20] You can't help that.

[00:08:21] But it's what you do afterwards that counts.

[00:08:25] That's when you grow.

[00:08:26] That's when you find out who you truly are.

[00:08:30] So when you find yourself standing on a threshold, the crossing of which will seemingly

[00:08:34] change everything?

[00:08:36] Don't fight it.

[00:08:37] Begin the next chapter in your life.

[00:08:44] You just listened to the post titled Eight Things You Must Give Up to Find Peace by Mark

[00:08:50] Chernoff of markandangel.com and I'll be right back with my commentary.

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[00:10:04] Take it a mark.

[00:10:05] A bunch of these points have book recommendations to go along with them.

[00:10:09] So if you're looking for new books to read, you can find some of the ones he

[00:10:13] suggested by checking out the original article, which you can find in this

[00:10:17] episode's description and at oldpodcast.com.

[00:10:21] The point about pain could be a difficult one to swallow.

[00:10:25] Often we're pushed by pain, whether that's mental, emotional or physical, to seek out

[00:10:32] help.

[00:10:33] And maybe that's why you're listening to this podcast.

[00:10:36] But he's right in that there is never a pain-free life just like being

[00:10:40] comfortable all the time shouldn't be the goal.

[00:10:43] We need pain and discomfort to grow.

[00:10:47] It's not a fun thing to hear.

[00:10:48] That pain is a good thing.

[00:10:50] I know it's not fun for me to hear it.

[00:10:52] And especially not fun if you happen to be going through difficult times, but

[00:10:57] hopefully you can reframe it a little bit.

[00:11:00] That's one of the harder points from this article, I think, whereas there

[00:11:03] might be some easier ones like avoiding negative news.

[00:11:08] It sounds small, but being a little bit more mindful about what we're

[00:11:11] watching or listening to can really make a big difference.

[00:11:16] I found that to be the case for myself.

[00:11:18] So with that, thank you for having this podcast be part of your day and

[00:11:21] listening to it every day.

[00:11:23] I hope you're having a great morning, afternoon or evening whenever you're

[00:11:26] listening to this.

[00:11:28] And I'll see you tomorrow where your optimal life awaits.