3167: The Pursuit Of Status: How To Avoid Chasing The Wrong Things by Louis Chew with No Sidebar

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[00:00:57] This is Optimal Living Daily, Episode 3167.

[00:01:01] The Pursuit of Status. How to avoid chasing the wrong things

[00:01:06] by Lewis Chu with nosidebar.com.

[00:01:09] And I'm Justin Malik, the guy who's been reading to you every day including holidays since 2015.

[00:01:15] And I'm going to keep that up so let's get right to it and continue optimizing your life.

[00:01:20] The Pursuit of Status.

[00:01:26] How to avoid chasing the wrong things by Lewis Chu with nosidebar.com

[00:01:32] Despite composing several famous works, the French philosopher Dennis Diderot

[00:01:38] spent the majority of his life in poverty.

[00:01:41] Like many Enlightenment thinkers of his time, Diderot had little concern for material possessions.

[00:01:47] And that changed when he received a new scarlet robe from his friend as a gift.

[00:01:53] The robe was so beautiful that Diderot treasured it above all else.

[00:01:59] But Diderot also quickly realized that the robe was out of place amongst his other common possessions.

[00:02:06] He didn't own anything that would match the grandeur of his new robe.

[00:02:11] And so Diderot went about replacing his old possessions.

[00:02:15] He replaced his straw chair with a leather one.

[00:02:19] A large mirror took over the mantle of his fireplace.

[00:02:22] He filled up the vacant corner of his house with a writing desk.

[00:02:27] Before long, Diderot found himself in debt.

[00:02:31] As he remarks in his essay titled Regrets for my old dressing gown,

[00:02:36] I was the absolute master of my old robe.

[00:02:40] I have become the slave of the new one.

[00:02:44] Pursuit of Status.

[00:02:46] The Diderot Effect.

[00:02:48] Diderot's story shows how the acquisition of new possessions is never a singular event.

[00:02:54] Each new purchase often creates a spiral of consumption that leads you to acquire more things.

[00:03:00] It's a social phenomenon that explains much of our modern consumption patterns.

[00:03:05] Savvy marketers often bundle complimentary products together and make us offer so compelling we can't refuse them.

[00:03:13] One seemingly innocent purchase can lead to many bad decisions.

[00:03:19] Having heard Diderot's warning, we now know what happens when we go about mindlessly acquiring new possessions.

[00:03:26] But that doesn't make the suppression of this behavior any easier.

[00:03:30] To understand our true challenge, we need to scrutinize Diderot's story more closely.

[00:03:36] As he writes in his essay, Diderot cared little for material possessions before he acquired his new robe.

[00:03:43] He didn't see them as representative of the inherent worth and value of a person.

[00:03:49] Quote,

[00:04:07] It is the image of a state I respect.

[00:04:14] It's the ensemble of the lack of grace of a necessary and unfortunate condition for which I have pity, end quote.

[00:04:22] But shortly after he acquired his new robe, Diderot's views changed.

[00:04:28] He came to identify with the grandeur and beauty of his scarlet robe.

[00:04:33] Eventually, he thought the same of his other possessions as well.

[00:04:37] Quote,

[00:04:47] How did a simple robe end up causing Diderot so much grief?

[00:04:52] What we really want.

[00:04:54] As it turns out, Diderot was spot on about how material possessions become intertwined with our identity.

[00:05:01] The wealthier we get, the more things become a form of self-expression.

[00:05:06] We no longer buy shirts and shorts for the cloth that covers our skin, but also to reflect our tastes and social standing.

[00:05:15] Jeffrey Miller, an evolutionary psychologist, notes in his book,

[00:05:19] spent that one of the biggest reasons we buy things is to signal virtue.

[00:05:25] Quote,

[00:05:31] Today we ornament ourselves with goods and services more to make an impression on other people's minds than to enjoy owning a chunk of matter,

[00:05:39] a fact that renders materialism a profoundly misleading term for much of consumption.

[00:05:45] Many products are signals first and material objects second.

[00:05:50] Our vast social primate brains evolved to pursue one of the most important things in our lives.

[00:05:57] Our vast social primate brains evolved to pursue one central social goal, to look good in the eyes of others.

[00:06:05] Quote,

[00:06:07] Ironically, the overt pursuit of status is a low-status activity.

[00:06:11] Chasing after someone's approval demonstrates low self-worth, which is why we instead opt to chase after possessions.

[00:06:20] This explains why the biggest companies in the world spend so much on branding.

[00:06:25] Luxury brands like BMW make it a point to advertise to everyone regardless of their income level.

[00:06:32] It seems like a mistake until you realize that they're not aiming to sell you a car, not directly at least.

[00:06:38] Their goal is to get everyone to believe that their product is valuable.

[00:06:43] The money comes in when people buy their products in a bid to signal their status.

[00:06:49] The pursuit of status

[00:06:52] It's absurd that most of us are unhappy and yet we have never been wealthier throughout history.

[00:06:59] The problem lies in the nature of the game we're playing.

[00:07:03] Status is hierarchical by definition since there can only be one top dog at any time.

[00:07:09] That makes the pursuit of status an essentially zero-sum game where your gain is my loss.

[00:07:16] We can never have enough if we need to have more than our neighbor.

[00:07:21] You can never really win because the game doesn't end.

[00:07:25] All you can do is maintain your position at the top.

[00:07:29] What do we do then?

[00:07:31] Your first instinct may be to declare that you're never going to chase status again.

[00:07:36] Yet that's unlikely to work out.

[00:07:39] Status was vital to our ancestors because it determined who got first choice of meat and mate.

[00:07:45] We were willing to give those who were more important to the group more privileges.

[00:07:50] While we don't need the protection of a tribe today, status still serves largely the same purpose.

[00:07:56] We haven't really evolved much at all.

[00:07:59] There are other ways to play this game though.

[00:08:02] Even if we're biologically primed to chase status, it doesn't mean that we need to acquire more possessions.

[00:08:09] A bigger and better house may force us to spend half of our lives working.

[00:08:13] The same goes for luxury cars, accessories, and jewelry, although to varying degrees.

[00:08:19] These items are costly in terms of both time and money, yet have little intrinsic value.

[00:08:26] Why not pursue activities that are a form of signal but also have inherent value as well?

[00:08:33] For instance, work out at the gym.

[00:08:36] The big reason why people go to the gym is so they can tell others about it.

[00:08:40] But working out also provides the inherently valuable benefit of being healthy.

[00:08:45] Or speaking or debating publicly.

[00:08:48] Speaking from an audience signals some form of expertise, but the prerequisite is that you must be informed.

[00:08:55] Knowledge is the main benefit.

[00:08:57] Or teaching others.

[00:08:59] It's another demonstration of expertise, but it's the protege effect at work as well.

[00:09:05] You're helping others learn a skill while refining your own understanding.

[00:09:10] Jim Rohn once remarked that, quote,

[00:09:13] The greatest reward in becoming a millionaire is not the amount of money that you earn,

[00:09:18] it's the kind of person that you have to become to become a millionaire, end quote.

[00:09:24] In other words, we should be aiming for the stake and not to sizzle.

[00:09:29] If we can't give up the latter, we must make sure that it's always accompanied by the former.

[00:09:35] What are we chasing?

[00:09:37] It's easy to get lost chasing more without considering what we really want.

[00:09:42] Therein lies the danger of mindless consumption.

[00:09:45] Most of the time all we really get are substitutes or replicas of what we truly desire in life.

[00:09:51] It takes reflection and honesty with ourselves to figure that out.

[00:09:55] Take the time to figure that out before you embark on your chase.

[00:10:00] As you may have realized from Diderot's example, it can be very costly when you chase the wrong things.

[00:10:07] You just listened to the post titled, The Pursuit of Status.

[00:10:14] How to avoid chasing the wrong things.

[00:10:17] But Louis Chu with nosidebar.com.

[00:10:19] I'll be right back with my commentary.

[00:10:40] Thank you to Louis, a guest writer on nosidebar.

[00:10:55] I've heard of the Diderot effect.

[00:10:57] I think we've talked about it here on the podcast before, but I definitely don't remember that much of his story.

[00:11:03] And I thought this was a great one.

[00:11:05] Some deep stuff in here to consider, like the self-worth part.

[00:11:09] That hit home for me a bit, especially when reflecting on what I previously wanted as a kid.

[00:11:15] Louis said, quote,

[00:11:17] Ironically the overt pursuit of status is a low status activity.

[00:11:22] Chasing after someone's approval demonstrates low self-worth,

[00:11:27] which is why we instead opt to chase after possessions, end quote.

[00:11:32] I really like that one because it made me reflect on my own life.

[00:11:36] I definitely wanted status as a kid, but that's faded a bit with age, which I'm happy about.

[00:11:43] But it does make me wonder if I had feelings of low self-worth as a kid.

[00:11:48] Which I can see as a possibility in fact.

[00:11:51] It's interesting stuff and something I'll be considering today and this weekend.

[00:11:55] Hopefully you too.

[00:11:57] And with that thank you for being here.

[00:11:59] I hope listening every day is able to add and compound your life like it has for mine.

[00:12:05] Have a great rest of your day and I'll be back tomorrow.

[00:12:08] Where your optimal life awaits.