3174: What's Stopping You From Starting (And What To Do About It) by Shirley of Daring Living on Habit Formation

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[00:01:00] Optimal Living Daily episode 3174 What's stopping you from starting? And what to

[00:01:07] do about it? By Shirley of daringliving.com and I'm

[00:01:10] Just a Moloch, your very own personal narrator. I'm doing flashback episodes

[00:01:15] this week because I'm a bit under the weather and this one is from years ago

[00:01:19] when I first narrated from Daring Living. So with that let's get right to it as we

[00:01:25] optimize your life. What's stopping you from starting? And what to do about it? By

[00:01:34] Shirley of daringliving.com. Are you someone who sets lots of goals but

[00:01:40] you just can't seem to start taking the actions? Are you finding it hard to take

[00:01:44] actions to finally make that career transition, actually plan your solo

[00:01:48] traveling trip, start your fitness journey, or build a side hustle for

[00:01:52] yourself? Here are three reasons why you can't take the actions to begin and some

[00:01:57] practical tips on what you can do with it. Number one, you let fears hold you

[00:02:02] back. This is where our ego likes to play tricks with us. Whenever we start

[00:02:06] thinking about anything that is unfamiliar and start thinking about new

[00:02:09] possibilities that we've never done before, our ego is threatened because we

[00:02:14] are entering a new territory that we did not have prior experience with. Our brain

[00:02:18] will start giving us scenarios to try to talk us out of starting. This is when we

[00:02:22] will start feeling fear and anxiety coming up which gives you even more

[00:02:26] reasons for you not to begin. Because you're feeling very uncomfortable, it

[00:02:30] doesn't feel right to feel this way. Therefore, this goal is probably not for

[00:02:35] you. Some fears you might have during this time include the fear of other

[00:02:38] people's judgment, fear of failure, fear of the unknown, or even fear of feeling

[00:02:43] any sort of uncomfortable emotions, anger, frustration, sadness, disappointment, etc.

[00:02:49] What your ego is simply doing is trying to protect you. Since the caveman era, we

[00:02:54] needed to be alert and be aware of our situations to detect any signs of

[00:02:59] danger. That's why our brain is programmed this way so we can function quickly to

[00:03:03] stay alive. But nowadays in a developed country, you're not really in a life-or-

[00:03:07] death situation too often. It's important to be aware of these ego-driven

[00:03:12] emotions and thoughts that you're having because in reality they are really not

[00:03:16] serving to move forward. Action step. Name out the fears, evaluate them, and

[00:03:22] change your story about the fear. Number two, you were distracted. Yes, you know

[00:03:28] that this is totally possible. You've probably experienced this many times.

[00:03:32] Life happens and there are a lot of things going on all the time. You get

[00:03:37] distracted and you forgot to take action on the goal or plan that you wanted to

[00:03:41] work towards. You're busy with work, social functions, friends, date nights

[00:03:45] with your partner, family time, side hobbies, etc. It can be a lot sometimes.

[00:03:50] Then it comes down to the question, how important is this goal to you? This thing

[00:03:55] that you want to start, this side hustle, this journey to working on yourself, the

[00:04:00] career change, the solo trip. How important is it really to you? We live in

[00:04:05] a society right now where advertisements, the Internet, everything and everyone is

[00:04:09] asking for our attention literally all the time 24-7. It's really important to

[00:04:14] identify your priorities and know what's important to you and really create a

[00:04:18] system to check in with yourself and remind yourself to start and take

[00:04:22] consistent actions. Because remember, no one will want you to achieve your

[00:04:26] dreams more than you do. Not even your partner, your mom or your best friend. You

[00:04:31] need to be there for yourself. You need to make your dreams and your goals the

[00:04:36] priority. Action step, get clear about what's important to you. Actually write

[00:04:41] it down in a notebook. Create a way to remind yourself constantly about your

[00:04:44] priorities. Example, setting it as your wallpaper or screen display. And find

[00:04:49] accountability. Take actions consistently and find someone, a friend or a coach, to

[00:04:54] check in with you consistently to make sure you're on track. Number three, you

[00:04:59] can't make up your mind. Another reason that's preventing us from taking action

[00:05:03] and starting is indecision. There are still some fear elements there but with

[00:05:08] indecision there's another reason which is not being able to trust yourself

[00:05:11] enough. This lack of trust can come from experience with indecision in the past

[00:05:16] and this is a type of reaction that you're used to, dwelling in the unknown

[00:05:19] and being stuck there. Let's be honest, you know that when you can't decide, you

[00:05:24] don't have to take the actions to actually commit to your decision.

[00:05:27] Remember that indecision is also a decision. It is a decision to stay the

[00:05:33] same. Trusting yourself is a practice. The more you can take actions and keep

[00:05:38] yourself accountable, the more you can trust yourself more over time. Action

[00:05:43] step, practice making more conscious, faster decisions for yourself. It can

[00:05:47] start with little daily choices such as what to eat for dinner. Remember the

[00:05:51] power of choice. You always, always have a choice to choose how you want to think,

[00:05:56] feel and act. And what is one decision you can make today to move closer

[00:06:01] towards your goal? You are always one decision away from a completely

[00:06:05] different life. Dear friend, what is your decision today? You just listened to the

[00:06:14] post titled What's stopping you from starting and what to do about it by

[00:06:18] Shirley of daringliving.com. And about today's brand new contributor for our

[00:06:23] podcast, Shirley is a certified life coach specializing in helping driven

[00:06:28] women create joy and success. That's through self-compassion, emotional

[00:06:32] resilience and more. She also has a podcast and YouTube channel covering

[00:06:36] goal-setting, lifestyle design, mindfulness and lots more. You can learn

[00:06:41] all about her, her life coaching, free course and all of that fun stuff at

[00:06:45] daringliving.blog. It's always appreciated when you check out our

[00:06:49] author's sites and show them support since they're letting me share their work

[00:06:52] for free here on the show. I'll leave it there for today. Hope you're having a

[00:06:56] great day. I'll be back tomorrow as usual where your optimal life awaits.