3176: 8 Signs You're A Perfectionist by Mia of She Dreams All Day on Personal Development & Self Help

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[00:00:38] This is Optimal Living Daily, episode 3176, Eight Signs You're a Perfectionist, by Mia of SheDreamsAllDay.com.

[00:00:47] And I'm your narrator, Justin Malik, reading you blogs every single day of the year.

[00:00:51] But today being a flashback episode since I'm a bit under the weather.

[00:00:56] So with that, let's get right to it as we optimize your life.

[00:01:03] Eight Signs You're a Perfectionist, by Mia of SheDreamsAllDay.com.

[00:01:09] Being a perfectionist is a true struggle, because truth be told, there is no such thing as perfect.

[00:01:16] Still, so many people have an ongoing daily battle with wanting to be and feel perfect.

[00:01:22] If you've built your life around wanting to be perfect, you'll be waiting indefinitely.

[00:01:27] Perfectionism is the devil, the mean best friend of productivity, and it wastes so much time.

[00:01:33] So how do you know if you're a perfectionist?

[00:01:36] Well, if you resonate with any of these signs, it might mean that you have been bitten by the perfectionism bug.

[00:01:42] What is perfectionism?

[00:01:44] The Google defines a perfectionist as follows.

[00:01:47] Refusal to accept any standard short of perfection.

[00:01:51] I define a perfectionist as being someone who is constantly under his or her own control and struggling with having a fixed mindset.

[00:01:58] Perfectionism is a mindset, a mindset that is in no way serving you or your dreams.

[00:02:05] When you're showing signs of being a perfectionist, you have super high ideals for yourself and feel as you'll never meet them.

[00:02:11] Perfectionism is when you avoid the feeling of shame and failure.

[00:02:16] Number one, you have the all or nothing mindset.

[00:02:20] The all or nothing or fixed mindset is irregular with perfectionists.

[00:02:23] This basically means having opposite thought patterns than those with a growth mindset.

[00:02:28] A fixed mindset keeps you stuck in the same place and you only act on things that are familiar from your past in situations that feel safe to your brain.

[00:02:37] There is no forward motion.

[00:02:39] A lot of perfectionists seem to think that since they are so in a personal development, they have a growth mindset.

[00:02:45] But this isn't always the case.

[00:02:47] Wanting to grow and develop as a person is not the same as taking action despite feeling, putting yourself out there to grow and getting results from it.

[00:02:55] That is what growth is.

[00:02:57] The all or nothing mindset speaks to the either or scenario.

[00:03:01] The outcome has to either be perfect or there'll be no outcome at all.

[00:03:05] You are either a success or a failure.

[00:03:08] This mindset puts enormous pressure on you and it's definitely not serving you, dreamer.

[00:03:13] Number two, you fear failure.

[00:03:16] Fearing failure is an undoubted trend for perfectionists.

[00:03:19] You fear any sort of negative emotion, really.

[00:03:21] Shame, self-doubt, failure, insecurity, any or all of these.

[00:03:27] You have a fear of putting yourself out there and going out of your comfort zone because you want to avoid the emotion that it will cause for you.

[00:03:33] Putting yourself out there means you'll be exposed, naked and vulnerable.

[00:03:38] Perfectionists try to escape any signs of failure or situations that might put them in an uncomfortable situation where they won't be able to be seen as perfect.

[00:03:47] Number three, you might have trust issues.

[00:03:50] Trusting other people, even the people you love, might be an issue for you if you're a perfectionist.

[00:03:55] This has to do with the fear of letting go of control.

[00:03:58] Once things are out of your hands and put into someone else's, you no longer have control of the perfect result.

[00:04:05] You have the idea that if something needs to be done perfectly, you have to do it yourself.

[00:04:09] Letting go of this need for control and learning to trust other people is crucial for overcoming perfectionism.

[00:04:15] It is one of the signs you're a perfectionist.

[00:04:18] Number four, you should all over yourself.

[00:04:22] Perfectionists spend a lot of their time in shoulda, woulda, coulda land.

[00:04:26] You waste time thinking about things you should do versus actually taking massive action.

[00:04:30] The problem with being a perfectionist is that you know what's good for you and move the needle when it comes to your dreams and goals,

[00:04:36] but you don't execute on it because you fear an imperfect outcome.

[00:04:40] Therefore, you stay perfectly put in shoulda land, the key word being perfect.

[00:04:45] Number five, you procrastinate.

[00:04:47] Perfectionism is just another term for procrastination.

[00:04:51] They're twins and they go hand in hand.

[00:04:53] Yes, they also wear the same matching outfits.

[00:04:56] If you find yourself procrastinating over things that you know will move you forward with your dreams,

[00:05:01] you might have an ounce or two of perfectionism in you, especially if the result is uncertain.

[00:05:06] You procrastinate without end to find the right time to work on your goals.

[00:05:11] The secret is out of the bag.

[00:05:13] There will never be a right time to work on your goals.

[00:05:16] Procrastinating is just a miscongeniality of perfectionism.

[00:05:20] Number six, you'd rather give up than not do something perfectly.

[00:05:24] When you have the all or nothing mindset hat on,

[00:05:26] you would rather give something up than not do it perfectly.

[00:05:30] This way of living kills dreams.

[00:05:32] Not only does it kill your dreams, but it also wastes so much time.

[00:05:36] You spend hours and hours trying to perfect something that cannot be perfected because again,

[00:05:41] perfection isn't a real thing.

[00:05:43] Putting decent work out there is a must to drive you all the way to your dream destination.

[00:05:48] There will of course be bumps in the road and detours that pop up,

[00:05:51] but you have to start somewhere and you got to keep going.

[00:05:55] No one starts out being perfect, not even Beyonce.

[00:05:58] You have to be willing to fail, put yourself on the spot,

[00:06:01] and push past giving up on your dreams just because things ain't perfect at first.

[00:06:06] Number seven, you spot mistakes everywhere.

[00:06:09] If you are a perfectionist, you are also a true genius of spotting mistakes

[00:06:13] when it comes to yourself and other people.

[00:06:16] Perfectionists are so detail-oriented that you see mistakes where other people don't

[00:06:20] and you make it your mission in life to uncover them in all situations.

[00:06:24] You smell flaws from miles away.

[00:06:26] This is definitely not doing you any good, dreamer.

[00:06:29] Most of these presumable mistakes are just imaginary to the perfectionist's eye.

[00:06:34] And number eight, you fear judgment.

[00:06:37] A perfectionist, you say?

[00:06:38] Then you likely have a fear of judgment from other people.

[00:06:41] Not only are you in your head a lot, but you also spend a lot of time thinking about other people

[00:06:45] and their thoughts and feelings about you.

[00:06:48] The truth is that people don't really think about you as much as you think they do.

[00:06:52] They have their own lives to live and problems to deal with.

[00:06:56] You being perfect is essentially the last thing on their minds.

[00:07:00] You don't need other people's approval to live your life.

[00:07:03] You just need your own.

[00:07:09] You just listened to the post titled,

[00:07:11] Eight Signs You're a Perfectionist by Mia of SheDreamsAllDay.com.

[00:07:16] Thanks to Mia, I related to this.

[00:07:19] While perfectionism can't be thrown out overnight,

[00:07:22] I find it helpful to see signs and to have the self-awareness to make the decision of where it might be limiting myself in my own life.

[00:07:28] Like with editing this podcast, for example.

[00:07:31] Sometimes people point things out like something was wrong with a sentence or section of audio.

[00:07:36] That's super rare and they're probably perfectionists too.

[00:07:38] But the vast majority of people, like 99.9%, either don't notice or don't mind enough to send me an email

[00:07:45] and realize that sometimes there might be a tiny issue and everything's going to be okay.

[00:07:50] As the final editor of all of our shows before they go live, I struggle with this because

[00:07:54] I want to give you the best possible audio experience I can, but

[00:07:58] it's also not sustainable because it's a ton of editing.

[00:08:01] I've done over 5,000 episodes across all of our shows, if you can believe it.

[00:08:05] And if I want to keep going, I'll need help and that'll require some slack from me and less of a perfectionist mindset

[00:08:11] and more of a growth mindset.

[00:08:13] Maybe that applies to you too.

[00:08:15] But that's your Do-it-for-Today. Hope you're having a great day and start to your week and I'll be back tomorrow

[00:08:19] where your optimal life awaits.