3181: Understanding And Overcoming Procrastination by Dr. Margaret Rutherford on Focus & Productivity

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[00:00:38] This is Optimal Living Daily, episode 3181, Understanding and Overcoming Procrastination

[00:00:44] by Dr. Margaret Rutherford of drmargaretrutherford.com.

[00:00:48] And I'm Justin Malik, your personal narrator.

[00:00:51] My voice is kind of coming back, so hopefully I can get through this blog post.

[00:00:55] I'm sharing an article today that's covering probably one of the most frequently asked

[00:01:00] about topics, procrastination.

[00:01:02] So with that, let's get right to it as we optimize your life.

[00:01:10] Understanding and Overcoming Procrastination by Dr.

[00:01:14] Margaret Rutherford of drmargaretrutherford.com.

[00:01:18] Honey, did you Venmo the gardener?

[00:01:21] Oh, I meant to, but forgot.

[00:01:23] Did you remember to call that new client?

[00:01:26] Yeah, but I didn't get to it.

[00:01:28] Hey, did you get that paper done?

[00:01:30] Mom, stop bugging me.

[00:01:31] I had to go to practice and was tired.

[00:01:34] These are conversations we have every day, sometimes with a child, with a partner,

[00:01:40] with a co-worker or with ourselves.

[00:01:43] Procrastination or putting something off in the present with the intention of tackling

[00:01:48] it later is a common problem, believe it or not, especially for perfectionists.

[00:01:55] A quick fix for normal procrastination.

[00:01:58] If someone says, yeah, I didn't get to that.

[00:02:01] And the words are accompanied by a quick laugh, they're probably admitting to not

[00:02:06] being motivated to get an unpleasant or difficult thing done.

[00:02:10] Usually fixing it isn't too hard.

[00:02:13] You can either give yourself an award for the desired behavior or you can pair an

[00:02:18] undesired consequence with your procrastination so that you get punished.

[00:02:23] Here's an example of number one.

[00:02:26] I needed to study for the GRE.

[00:02:28] I'm not good at standardized tests and absolutely dreaded taking it again.

[00:02:34] I was also a huge soap opera fan, specifically All My Children.

[00:02:38] The tumultuous lives of the spicy characters was a delicious distraction from real life

[00:02:43] for me, so I conceived a plan for motivation.

[00:02:47] I made myself swear that I could watch one recorded episode for every hour I spent

[00:02:53] slaving over the study material.

[00:02:56] It worked and I scored high enough to get into grad school.

[00:03:00] The rest is history.

[00:03:02] A friend's story is an example of the second option.

[00:03:06] The problem was that she kept putting off the chore of weeding her garden until it

[00:03:11] became so overgrown, sometimes it would take an entire weekend to get it back into

[00:03:15] shape.

[00:03:16] So she didn't want to choose that punishment.

[00:03:19] So her belief became, it's silly.

[00:03:22] It takes me way less time to pop out for a few minutes in the morning than the times

[00:03:26] when I really let it go and have to dedicate a day or two to catching up.

[00:03:33] Common sense, right?

[00:03:35] These are the everyday garden variety pun intended types of procrastinations that can

[00:03:40] be a part of being a human.

[00:03:43] Yet procrastination can take on a more ominous place in your everyday life.

[00:03:48] You might be absolutely paralyzed by anxiety when facing an action that for some

[00:03:53] reason, perhaps unknown to you, seems overwhelming.

[00:03:58] You need to make a decision or choose to take a risk.

[00:04:01] Yet you can't seem to move off square one.

[00:04:05] When procrastination is no longer manageable or funny.

[00:04:10] These procrastinations aren't a laughing matter.

[00:04:13] Instead, you feel humiliated by how insignificant your fears seem and chastise

[00:04:18] yourself.

[00:04:19] I don't know why I can't do this.

[00:04:21] Everybody can do this.

[00:04:23] Sarah can't open her email for fear that there will be bad news.

[00:04:27] Jason can't begin a paper for his college class because it feels overwhelming.

[00:04:32] Chandra won't go to the gym because she dreads not knowing how to work the machines.

[00:04:37] Alex can't order food at a drive-thru because she's too anxious that she'd sound

[00:04:42] silly.

[00:04:43] Shame washes over you every time you freeze.

[00:04:47] You might think that procrastinator's lives aren't productive or successful.

[00:04:52] However, the four previous examples are all from people I worked with who had great

[00:04:58] careers, wonderful families.

[00:05:00] What existed were pockets of anxiety.

[00:05:04] Certain things that overwhelmed them.

[00:05:07] They might have a panic attack when trying to confront those things which then developed

[00:05:11] into panic about panic, meaning the fear about panicking was far worse than their

[00:05:17] initial panic.

[00:05:19] So why do you procrastinate?

[00:05:22] Is it avoidance as in post-traumatic stress disorder?

[00:05:25] Sarah had had trouble with the IRS due to not paying her taxes for several years.

[00:05:31] Her fear about opening mail was completely connected with that emotional trauma which

[00:05:36] was re-triggered when official looking envelopes arrived.

[00:05:40] She wasn't simply putting things off.

[00:05:42] She hadn't fought in a war, but for her, those couple of years had been highly

[00:05:48] traumatizing.

[00:05:50] Is it attention deficit disorder?

[00:05:53] The field of ADD is immense and I'm not an expert in it, but people with ADD and ADHD

[00:06:00] have neurological differences that cause them to severely struggle with focus.

[00:06:05] Jason's apparent procrastination was more about focus.

[00:06:09] People with focusing problems can get lost in what seem to others simply organizational

[00:06:15] processes and shame leads them to problems with self-worth.

[00:06:20] Is it the consequence of helicopter or abusive parenting?

[00:06:25] If things were done for you as a child or even as an adult child, you may not have learned

[00:06:30] how to organize your own thinking, prioritize your own choices, or navigate small or large

[00:06:37] failures.

[00:06:38] If you had a helicopter parent, you may have learned, even if I don't do it, it still gets

[00:06:43] done.

[00:06:44] Chandra hadn't been allowed to make mistakes because her parent accomplished those

[00:06:50] unfamiliar to you tasks for her.

[00:06:53] However, this deprived her of the opportunity to problem solve and develop her own sense

[00:06:58] of self-competence.

[00:06:59] She'd never been allowed to navigate unfamiliar territory and so the unknown or looking

[00:07:05] stupid was terrifying.

[00:07:08] In more extreme dynamics, if you were abused as a child or very heavily criticized, you

[00:07:14] can also develop the tendency to stay invisible.

[00:07:17] You fear making a mistake or looking like you don't know something and it can paralyze

[00:07:23] you.

[00:07:24] Is it perfectionism, worry, self-doubt, or anxiety?

[00:07:30] Alex, who had a bad problem with procrastination, also suffered from huge insecurities.

[00:07:36] She didn't know how to expect anything but perfectionism from herself and yet was also

[00:07:41] terrified of looking or sounding as if she wasn't in perfect control.

[00:07:47] Knowing what's underneath procrastination can lead to different treatments.

[00:07:52] If it's past trauma, then trauma-related work needs to occur, whether that's EMDR or some

[00:07:58] other kind of trauma work.

[00:08:00] If it's a focusing issue, then techniques like biofeedback or neurofeedback might be

[00:08:06] helpful or medication is a possibility.

[00:08:10] If it's a product of poor or abusive parenting, there may be an underlying depression that

[00:08:15] needs to be addressed.

[00:08:17] If it's mainly anxiety, then calming techniques such as mindfulness or meditation could be

[00:08:22] useful.

[00:08:23] Hypnosis is a possibility.

[00:08:25] Cognitive work challenging those irrational thoughts and regular exercise could also be

[00:08:30] helpful.

[00:08:32] Confront your shame, show compassion for yourself as you acknowledge your vulnerability,

[00:08:37] and then begin to unravel the how and why of your procrastination.

[00:08:42] And you'll get that paper done.

[00:08:44] You'll order that chicken sandwich.

[00:08:46] You'll open your mail.

[00:08:48] Most importantly, you'll enjoy so much more freedom.

[00:08:57] You just listened to the post titled Understanding and Overcoming Procrastination by Dr.

[00:09:02] Margaret Rutherford of drmargaretrutherford.com.

[00:09:05] I'll be right back with my commentary.

[00:09:07] Thank you to Dr.

[00:09:08] Margaret.

[00:09:09] Again, this is a topic that is frequently asked about, so hopefully it was helpful for you.

[00:09:15] I'm definitely guilty of this from time to time, especially in the past.

[00:09:18] Like in school, I was always waiting till the last minute to start projects and papers.

[00:09:24] I'm not sure what the cause was back then, but I can see the value in digging in and asking why.

[00:09:31] Awareness is the only way we can resolve that issue because first we need to see that we're

[00:09:36] procrastinating in the first place.

[00:09:38] So awareness of the issue itself, but then awareness of what's causing it can help us find

[00:09:45] the right solution instead of just throwing spaghetti at the wall and hoping something

[00:09:49] sticks.

[00:09:50] So for me, for example, I don't think it's an intention problem.

[00:09:54] So trying a bunch of biofeedback or neurofeedback techniques or medication might not be

[00:10:00] helpful.

[00:10:01] More and in fact could be harmful.

[00:10:04] So that's why it's important.

[00:10:06] Maybe you know yours, maybe you don't, but I'm sure with a little investigation you'll be able to

[00:10:11] figure it out.

[00:10:13] So do think about that today and I'll do the same.

[00:10:16] Have a great rest of your day and middle of the week and I'll catch you tomorrow.

[00:10:19] Where your optimal life awaits.