3184: How to Not Believe Your Ultra-Persuasive Rationalizations by Leo Babauta on Self-Sabotage & Fear

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[00:00:57] This is Optimal Living Daily Episode 3184,

[00:01:12] How to Not Believe Your Ultra-Persuasive Rationalizations, by Leo Babauta of zenhabits.net.

[00:01:18] And I'm Justin Malik, your very own personal narrator.

[00:01:21] I read to you every single day of the year so that you don't have to go find

[00:01:25] blogs and articles yourself.

[00:01:27] I find the best authors online, in my opinion, and simply read them to you for free.

[00:01:33] So with that, let's get right to it and continue optimizing your life.

[00:01:41] How to Not Believe Your Ultra-Persuasive Rationalizations, by Leo Babauta of zenhabits.net.

[00:01:49] I've come to realize that smart people are very good at creating super persuasive arguments

[00:01:54] for why they shouldn't do the thing they're fearing doing.

[00:01:59] This past week I've worked with half a dozen intelligent people who have convinced themselves

[00:02:04] to give in to their resistance over and over.

[00:02:08] They're persuasive, convincing people.

[00:02:11] And when it comes to convincing themselves, they are really good at it,

[00:02:15] as there isn't even anyone to argue back.

[00:02:18] So they convince themselves, in the moment of fear and resistance,

[00:02:22] not to do the thing they told themselves yesterday they want to do.

[00:02:26] This results in not sticking to their word to themselves,

[00:02:30] not doing the habits they want,

[00:02:32] not doing the important and meaningful work they've always wanted to do.

[00:02:36] So how do we overcome our own persuasive rationalizations?

[00:02:41] I've learned a few things working with these wonderful and intelligent people.

[00:02:45] Let me share them with you.

[00:02:47] Start from your best mindset.

[00:02:50] Mike Tyson had a famous phrase that went something like,

[00:02:53] Everybody has a plan until they're punched in the face.

[00:02:57] And while I don't love the violence of it,

[00:02:59] I do love the recognition that our best plans go out the window when they're faced with fear.

[00:03:05] So we have to train in how we respond to the fear so that we don't collapse.

[00:03:11] But before we do that, it's important to start thinking about this

[00:03:14] when you're in your best mindset, or at least a pretty good one.

[00:03:19] Not when you're in the middle of the resistance,

[00:03:21] because at that point you'll just rationalize your way out of it.

[00:03:25] Your best mindset is when you can look at the situation objectively

[00:03:29] and decide what you really want to do.

[00:03:32] Not what you want to do when faced with the book writing or sales call you're resisting.

[00:03:36] Not what you want to do when it's cold or you're in bed and the alarm clock's gone off in darkness.

[00:03:43] But what you want to do when you're calm and not feeling the resistance.

[00:03:48] What do you want?

[00:03:49] Why do you care about that?

[00:03:51] What would it mean for you and others?

[00:03:54] How important is this for you?

[00:03:57] Write down the answers to this to show yourself when you're facing the fear.

[00:04:01] When fear punches you in the face and you want to run.

[00:04:05] Come up with your counter-arguments.

[00:04:08] Now that you know what you want and why, come up with your counter-punches.

[00:04:13] Start to list the reasons you give yourself not to do the things you fear.

[00:04:18] You can add to this list later when you see them in the wild.

[00:04:21] But for now, list the ones you can remember.

[00:04:25] Now write down a good counter-argument for each one.

[00:04:29] Each rationalization will be at least partly true which is why they're powerful.

[00:04:34] So you have to overcome it with even more truth.

[00:04:38] For example, I should sleep in.

[00:04:41] I need the sleep.

[00:04:42] Well yes that's true, sleep is important.

[00:04:45] But that just means you need to start going to sleep earlier.

[00:04:48] You can wake up today and suffer a little bit,

[00:04:51] but then get very serious about going to sleep on time so you can get what you need to be focused.

[00:04:58] Why should I do this?

[00:04:59] I'm already happy.

[00:05:01] Well that's also true, but giving in to your fears doesn't lead to long-term happiness.

[00:05:06] Breaking your word to yourself doesn't lead to self-trust.

[00:05:10] Doing the thing you said you really want to do will lead to long-term happiness.

[00:05:16] Just this one time won't hurt.

[00:05:18] It isn't a big deal.

[00:05:20] Well that's true, except that it is a big deal because you're breaking your word to yourself.

[00:05:25] It will hurt because one inevitably leads to another

[00:05:29] and so you're forming a pattern that will hurt you.

[00:05:32] This is the argument I made so that I could smoke cigarettes and it always ended up hurting me.

[00:05:37] So look at the evidence.

[00:05:39] Has believing that rationalization hurt or helped you?

[00:05:44] And I'm too busy.

[00:05:47] Yes, you are busy, but are all the other things you're doing more important than this?

[00:05:51] Can you say that with absolute certainty?

[00:05:54] Because yesterday you decided that this was important and the other things weren't as important.

[00:06:00] Maybe you shouldn't renegotiate with yourself right now,

[00:06:03] but wait until you're in your best mind to reprioritize.

[00:06:08] So these are just a few common ones.

[00:06:10] You could probably think of a few of your own right now.

[00:06:13] If not, watch what you tell yourself the next time you try to put off your important things

[00:06:18] and write down the rationalization.

[00:06:21] What would convince you not to believe your rationalization?

[00:06:25] Write it down and tell it to yourself at the moment of difficulty.

[00:06:30] Train in the moment of resistance.

[00:06:33] It's one thing to write things down and have counter-arguments ready for yourself,

[00:06:37] but what will you do when fear punches you in the face?

[00:06:41] This takes training.

[00:06:42] You need to intentionally practice in this every day so that you get better and better

[00:06:47] at overcoming the resistance and not collapsing when hit with fear.

[00:06:53] The training is this in a nutshell.

[00:06:55] Number one, set a practice time for yourself and commit to doing the training every day at that time.

[00:07:03] Number two, set something for yourself to do in that practice time,

[00:07:08] something that will bring up some resistance.

[00:07:10] Set this the day before.

[00:07:13] Number three, only do a small chunk of it.

[00:07:16] If you want to write a book for example, only try to do 10 to 20 minutes of it

[00:07:21] depending on how hard that is for you.

[00:07:23] Don't make it crazy difficult at first.

[00:07:27] Number four, notice what happens when the time comes to practice.

[00:07:31] What do you do?

[00:07:32] What rationalizations do you give yourself?

[00:07:34] What comforts do you turn towards?

[00:07:37] What complaints are there?

[00:07:39] Just notice without judgment.

[00:07:42] Number five, stay for a moment with the fear and resistance.

[00:07:46] Just be with it.

[00:07:47] You don't need to run.

[00:07:49] Just feel it for a moment.

[00:07:51] Maybe a couple moments.

[00:07:52] This is the training, not running.

[00:07:56] Number six, see if any of your counter arguments work.

[00:08:00] Remind yourself of why this is important.

[00:08:03] Number seven, put yourself in a place of love.

[00:08:07] How is doing this an act of love for yourself and others?

[00:08:11] How important is that love?

[00:08:13] Can you let yourself feel the love and compassion right now for yourself and others?

[00:08:19] Let this move you.

[00:08:21] And number eight, try to get even one minute done.

[00:08:25] See if that's possible.

[00:08:27] Maybe 10 seconds.

[00:08:29] It's an opening.

[00:08:30] Tomorrow get a little more done if possible or at least the same amount.

[00:08:35] Daily training will help you not need to run.

[00:08:39] The rationalizations will lose their power with time because the fear won't be as scary.

[00:08:50] You just listened to the post titled,

[00:08:52] How to Not Believe Your Ultra Persuasive Rationalizations by Leo Babauta of zenhabits.net

[00:08:58] and I'll be right back with my commentary.

[00:09:01] Thank you to Leo.

[00:09:02] Sometimes this podcast to me serves as a dose of positivity.

[00:09:07] Sometimes education, but sometimes just a little bit of a kick of inspiration or motivation.

[00:09:14] And for me, that's what this article was today.

[00:09:17] I felt like the article we had yesterday and the day before actually, since it was a two-parter

[00:09:23] was more of the education and understanding piece of the puzzle.

[00:09:28] While this one had a lot of action, a lot of things we could do,

[00:09:32] but also within that, encouraging us to take that step and actually practice,

[00:09:37] which really is the most important step and probably the hardest one.

[00:09:42] It's the thing we procrastinate on actually doing the thing.

[00:09:47] And as Leo said, if we can just do one tiny thing or small chunk in his words,

[00:09:52] that's a step in the right direction.

[00:09:54] That's momentum.

[00:09:56] And we really need that to make progress.

[00:09:58] And so we can look back in a few days, a week, months, even years,

[00:10:04] and see how far we've come by just taking one little step at a time.

[00:10:08] So hopefully this one was motivational or inspirational for you too.

[00:10:13] Definitely something to think about this weekend.

[00:10:15] And hopefully you can make a small step outside your comfort zone.

[00:10:19] And with that, have a great weekend and I'll see you tomorrow

[00:10:22] where your optimal life awaits.