3199: Why Memories Are Better Than Things by Lisa Avellan of No Sidebar on Minimalism & Self-Improvement

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[00:00:57] This is Optimal Living Daily, episode 3199, Why Memories Are Better Than Things,

[00:01:03] by Lisa Avellón with NoSidebar.com, and I'm Justin Malik.

[00:01:08] And we're going to jump right into today's post as we optimize your life.

[00:01:16] Why Memories Are Better Than Things, by Lisa Avellón with NoSidebar.com.

[00:01:22] A spacious place, rescued and delighted in. Isn't that what this simplicity thing is about?

[00:01:30] I came upon this and thought, yes, that's exactly it.

[00:01:34] A few weeks ago while visiting family in my hometown, I hiked through an old,

[00:01:39] abandoned 4-acre lot overgrown with weeds, sticker bushes, and a deserted apple orchard.

[00:01:46] This is where one of my childhood homes once stood. The yellow house, garage and workshop,

[00:01:52] the goat barn and grape vineyard, gone, disappeared. No trace of that old farmhouse

[00:01:59] built in the 1930s or the short but surely significant year of my life almost 20 years ago.

[00:02:06] I trekked through the long grass determined to find my 8th grade self underneath all those years

[00:02:12] of uninhibited nature, only to find a few scraps of siding and broken window blinds.

[00:02:19] This was where I picked and pressed hundreds of flowers for my 8th grade science project,

[00:02:24] all those brightly colored species that surprised us in early spring. It was where I gladly mowed a

[00:02:30] couple acres of grass and jumped out of my skin at the occasional garner snake slithering away in

[00:02:36] fear. This place was the final year of our farm, the conclusion of years raising dairy goats,

[00:02:43] breeding, kidding, milking, showing, and the daily duties of farm life. This was where I

[00:02:50] woke to my mother whispering we had to leave, grandma didn't have much time. We drove 3 hours

[00:02:57] to say goodbye to the woman we'd met only 4 years prior. At 16 she placed my dad for adoption,

[00:03:05] and 36 years later tracked him down, filling our family into hers with unconditional love and grace.

[00:03:12] Here I would drift toward the kitchen a few days later and witness my dad fall broken into my mom's

[00:03:19] arms, the first time I ever saw him cry. Space was all that remained now. He brought me into a

[00:03:27] spacious place, a place to remind me that to fully live is to not remain still frozen in time with

[00:03:35] material representations of what once existed. A rich life is the experiences we create,

[00:03:42] not the things we buy to remember those experiences. Here are a few reasons why memories

[00:03:49] are better than things. Number 1. Memories are performers, not statues. Memories are meant to be

[00:03:58] wild and free. I admit that I got overly sensitive and nostalgic seeing this childhood home

[00:04:05] completely leveled and abandoned, but unexpectedly that day taught me perhaps the most important

[00:04:11] lesson on living simply thus far. Memories come alive vividly dancing before us when we stop

[00:04:19] appropriating them to an object and offer an empty stage for them to perform inwardly. The spacious

[00:04:26] places are where our memories show us the endless possibilities to believe in something greater,

[00:04:32] something truer than anything we've ever owned. Like the moments we are inspired by a story

[00:04:38] on screen or stage, the best performances allow us to dream. Number 2. Things restrict our lives,

[00:04:47] memories expand it. It's the way our lungs expand eagerly on the mountaintop, reaching for the

[00:04:54] crisp pure air. It's the salty taste of the open ocean mist on our lips. It's in the horizon,

[00:05:02] bending orange and pink, giving way to the speckled night skies of day's end. Our memories create a

[00:05:10] bigger life. We spend time and money trying to hold on to what we experience, afraid to let it go and

[00:05:17] be free. So we fill our homes with memorabilia and place all our faith that it will be as rewarding

[00:05:23] as the moment. But silently, the object steals away the most beautiful details and contains it

[00:05:30] to a shot glass or 4x6 piece of film paper or a figurine. It's clear to me now that

[00:05:38] maybe that empty lot wasn't meant to be occupied forever. Perhaps removing the old and letting the

[00:05:45] space be free to grow organically for a season or 80 is where life is made whole. And number 3.

[00:05:55] Memories create windows, things block the view. I'm almost positive if that house remained and

[00:06:03] I walked down the driveway, I wouldn't consider being grateful for that place. I'd steer clear

[00:06:08] of that scary space beneath the stairs. I'd shudder at the shag carpet upstairs or most

[00:06:15] assuredly I'd turn in disgust remembering the ladybug infestation we had that summer.

[00:06:21] In that open space, I looked through my sole window and saw everything that made the home

[00:06:27] unique and beautiful. The memories danced for me uninhibited by walls. Our best memories are the

[00:06:35] brightest and most joy-giving out in the open. The spacious place where that yellow house once stood

[00:06:42] is not a graveyard of my childhood, it's where my best and most important joys and sorrows of that

[00:06:48] year run free and give my story beauty. I was brought into a spacious place and rescued. And

[00:06:56] now I seek spacious places everywhere. I hope you will too. You just listened to the post titled

[00:07:07] Why Memories Are Better Than Things by Lisa Avellan with NoSidebar.com and I'll be right

[00:07:13] back with my commentary.

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[00:08:14] They give Elisa a guest writer on No Sidebar. That's a nice way to put it, that memories are

[00:08:22] performers, not statues. It's fascinating to me how our memories can be quite different from what

[00:08:29] really happened. Our memories aren't incredibly reliable after all, but that's not necessarily a

[00:08:35] bad thing in this case. Because they might include more details. They could bring back happy memories,

[00:08:42] possibly even happier than we were in the actual moment, which is kind of crazy to think about.

[00:08:49] They're not meant to be static like material possessions. They change and we actually have

[00:08:54] control over how we feel and process those memories too. Wherever we came from, we get to choose how

[00:09:02] that place shaped and continues to shape us, whether or not they confine or define us. It really

[00:09:09] is a decision. So maybe something to think about today, how did the space you lived in as a child

[00:09:16] shape you? How does the place you live in now shape you? Is it defining who you are today?

[00:09:23] I'll think about that too. But with that, wishing you a great rest of your day and start to your

[00:09:28] weekend and I'll see you tomorrow as usual where your optimal life awaits.