3208: Zen Mind in the Middle of Chaos & Stress by Leo Babauta of Zen Habits on Mindfulness

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[00:01:08] This is Optimal Living Daily episode 3208, Zen Mind in the Middle of Chaos and Stress

[00:01:16] by Leo Babauta of zenhabits.net and my narrator Justin Mollick.

[00:01:20] Now let's get right to our next article as we optimize your life.

[00:01:29] Zen Mind in the Middle of Chaos and Stress by Leo Babauta of zenhabits.net.

[00:01:37] What do you do when your job or your personal life is a constant source of busyness, rushing,

[00:01:44] nose to the grindstone work and stress?

[00:01:48] Or what do you do if your life is simple and relatively stress-free but something blows

[00:01:53] up and you're in the middle of chaos and high stress all of a sudden?

[00:01:57] This is when we could use a dose of Zen Mind or the art of letting go.

[00:02:03] What is this Zen Mind?

[00:02:05] To be honest, I'm still learning what that is, but what I've been practicing is a constant

[00:02:10] letting go.

[00:02:11] Let's take an example.

[00:02:13] I have a major deadline approaching.

[00:02:16] It's stressing me out, man.

[00:02:18] But what is the source of the stress?

[00:02:20] It's not the work, which is just a series of actions.

[00:02:24] It's not the deadline, which is just a time constraint.

[00:02:27] It's my reaction to those external events.

[00:02:31] My fear that I'm not going to make it, that I'll mess up, that I'll look stupid or incompetent.

[00:02:39] This fear that is causing my stress reaction is rooted in my wanting things to turn out

[00:02:44] a certain way.

[00:02:46] Wanting to meet the deadline and get things perfect and look good.

[00:02:51] What if I could let go of wanting things to turn out that way?

[00:02:55] This is a fantasy, an ideal that I'm holding onto.

[00:02:58] It might turn out that way, sure, but it could turn out a dozen other ways and the truth

[00:03:04] is I don't have complete control over how it'll turn out.

[00:03:08] All I can do is do the work and the fantasy.

[00:03:12] The fear and the stress are only getting in the way.

[00:03:16] So if I can let go of this ideal, this fantasy, I can let go of the fear and the stress.

[00:03:23] This is the Zen mind that I'm learning about.

[00:03:26] It's simply letting go and in doing so, you attain a peace of mind no matter what chaos

[00:03:31] and seemingly stressful event are going on around you.

[00:03:35] Again, I'm not good at this yet, but I'm learning.

[00:03:39] I'll share with you what I know.

[00:03:42] The art of letting go.

[00:03:44] So these are the steps to letting go.

[00:03:48] Number one, notice why you're stressed.

[00:03:51] What external event is stressing you?

[00:03:54] Why is it stressing you out?

[00:03:56] What fear do you have?

[00:03:58] Number two, notice what you're holding onto.

[00:04:02] If your response is fear, it's because you're holding onto something.

[00:04:06] It's probably a fantasy or ideal.

[00:04:09] Or wanting to control something, wanting something to turn out a certain way, wishing things would

[00:04:14] meet the expectations you have.

[00:04:16] If you're saying, he should do this or it should be like this, then you're holding onto

[00:04:22] an ideal or expectation or outcome.

[00:04:26] Number three, realize that it's not real.

[00:04:31] This fantasy, this expectation, this wishing you could control things, it's just made up

[00:04:36] in your head.

[00:04:38] To be fair, we all do it, but it's not a real thing and it can be let go of.

[00:04:44] Number four, see that it's hurting you.

[00:04:48] This thing you've made up is causing you stress which is shortening your life and making

[00:04:53] what short life you have less enjoyable.

[00:04:56] It's causing pain in your life.

[00:04:59] Realize this.

[00:05:00] And number five, let go.

[00:05:03] If something you've made up is causing pain, why hold onto it?

[00:05:08] It's not worth it.

[00:05:09] By letting go, you release the pain and are just left with you and the work you need to

[00:05:15] do.

[00:05:16] Zen mind in the middle of chaos.

[00:05:19] So you work long hours and are stressed out.

[00:05:23] It's work you love perhaps, but still hard work and still lots of stressors.

[00:05:30] Maybe you get to take some good breaks during the day, maybe you take weekends off, maybe

[00:05:34] you get some great vacations.

[00:05:37] But the fact remains, no matter what kind of breaks and vacations you take, much of

[00:05:41] your life is spent doing the hard work and stressed out.

[00:05:45] You need to be able to simultaneously work and be on vacation.

[00:05:51] This is the practice of Zen mind that we're talking about.

[00:05:55] Letting go and being able to breathe and smile in the middle of a stressful work day.

[00:06:01] It's only stressful of course because of stuff we're making up in our heads.

[00:06:05] So if we can create a constant practice of awareness and letting go, we constantly let

[00:06:10] go of the stress.

[00:06:12] Your boss dumps a new project on you with a close deadline.

[00:06:16] Yikes!

[00:06:17] You're instantly stressed.

[00:06:20] Notice and let go.

[00:06:22] Breathe.

[00:06:23] Feel the stress floating away as you let go of an ideal and an expectation.

[00:06:29] You're now free and you can just do the first task.

[00:06:33] After all, that's all you can ever do.

[00:06:36] Your coworker or client is mad at you and yelling at you.

[00:06:39] This is highly stressful.

[00:06:41] Until you realize that they're probably yelling for some problem that's not really about you.

[00:06:46] They're stressed out, they're having a bad day, they have problems dealing with stress.

[00:06:51] And you're holding onto the expectation that everyone around you should behave perfectly,

[00:06:57] which of course is an absurd fantasy.

[00:07:00] You let go of that and reach out in your heart to this fellow human being who isn't happy.

[00:07:06] How can you make things better for this person with an open heart?

[00:07:11] Your son is stressing you out because he's not doing what he should be doing.

[00:07:15] You're mad.

[00:07:16] Why can't he just do what you ask?

[00:07:19] Of course this is a fantasy.

[00:07:21] Your kids or friends or spouse are not going to live up to these expectations you have

[00:07:26] of how they should behave.

[00:07:29] These expectations aren't anything real, just fantasies.

[00:07:33] You can't control their behavior.

[00:07:35] Wanting to do so just stresses you out.

[00:07:38] So let go of that expectation and the desire to control and the stress goes away.

[00:07:45] Instead, open your heart and be open to who they are.

[00:07:49] Okay, so that's all easier said than done.

[00:07:52] In the real world, it takes a lot of practice.

[00:07:55] We often forget about this process when things hit the fan.

[00:07:59] That's okay.

[00:08:00] Life is a constant practice.

[00:08:03] Keep practicing and let go of wanting to be perfect at it.

[00:08:08] Just in the attempt, you're already perfect.

[00:08:16] You just listened to the post titled, Zen Mind in the Middle of Chaos and Stress by

[00:08:21] Leo Wibauta of zenhabits.net.

[00:08:23] I'll be right back with my commentary.

[00:08:26] Thank you to Leo.

[00:08:28] There are a couple of things that I thought of when reading this one.

[00:08:32] The first is that there's a difference between avoidance and running away, and a more purposeful,

[00:08:39] mindful, intentional letting go.

[00:08:42] It's a subtle difference, but important, I think.

[00:08:46] Because it's easy to just push things to the side and bury them when things are bad.

[00:08:51] That's not a healthy way to process things.

[00:08:53] That's something I could work on myself.

[00:08:56] But I think what Leo is talking about is different.

[00:08:59] His steps had questions along the way, diving deeper into the issue and then letting go.

[00:09:05] But like he said, this sounds simple on the surface.

[00:09:09] Maybe it is simple, but it's not easy by any means.

[00:09:13] As someone who's meditated a lot over the years, I can say that I think meditation helps

[00:09:18] with this.

[00:09:19] Or same with journaling or listening to this podcast and having that daily touchpoint of

[00:09:25] reflection.

[00:09:26] You have to find what works for you, but it's definitely something worth working on.

[00:09:32] The benefits could be massive.

[00:09:34] So let's try letting go today and this weekend.

[00:09:37] Have a great weekend if you're listening in real time, and I'll see you tomorrow where

[00:09:41] your optimal life awaits.