3215: [Part 1] Pursuing a Richer, Fuller Level of Happiness by Joshua Becker of Becoming Minimalist

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[00:00:26] Unlimited more than 40GB per month. Slows. Full terms at mintmobile.com. This is Optimal Living Daily episode 3215, Pursuing a Richer, Fuller Level of Happiness, part 1 by Joshua Becker of becomingminimalist.com and I'm Justin Malik. Happy Friday! Welcome to one of the only podcasts in the world

[00:00:47] where articles are narrated to you for free with permission from the authors and it's an award-winning podcast thanks to you. Today I have a bit of a longer post, so I'll read the first half today and then finish the rest for you tomorrow.

[00:01:00] So with that, let's get right to it and start optimizing your life. Pursuing a Richer, Fuller Level of Happiness, part 1 by Joshua Becker of becomingminimalist.com My friend Jason and his wife are in their early 40s. Four years ago, they had three school-age children

[00:01:24] when they adopted a 12-year-old from the New Jersey foster care system. Understanding that their lives would be forever changed by the decision, they moved forward because they knew it was the right thing to do. They had an opportunity to change someone's life and they couldn't pass it up.

[00:01:43] Today, life looks a lot different for them than it once did. The challenges of parenting a child who has experienced more than children should have to endure has stretched each person in the family in ways they never imagined.

[00:01:58] As Jason and I shared a cup of coffee last week, I was curious how he'd narrate his family's journey. Joshua, I've got to be honest, it's hard, he said during a moment of openness and vulnerability. Some days at home are better than others,

[00:02:14] but there continue to be a lot of really rough moments. I listened and nodded while knowing deep in my heart I had no idea the depths of emotional and physical struggle their family has faced in recent years. Jason continued, You know what's weird?

[00:02:32] Maybe the hardest part is everything I've been forced to confront about myself through all of this. Struggles I thought I had overcome in my life and lessons that I didn't think I had left to learn. All my assumptions about what the perfect American life

[00:02:47] is supposed to look like have been challenged. A follow-up question came to mind, one that I struggled to ask because I did not want it to be misinterpreted by him in any way. I proceeded slowly, almost apologetically to ask, Jason, would you say that you're happier now?

[00:03:07] He sat down his cup and looked off into the distance as if to clear his mind to ensure the words came out right. After a long contemplative breath he replied, I am happier, but it's hard to describe.

[00:03:20] I'd say that I now have a deeper, richer view of happiness than I had before. Jason had discovered the hard way that a life that is deeply satisfying can look very different than the one he'd once expected. It's kind of like I look back on my life before,

[00:03:38] how I measured happiness, and see that there's this deeper level of joy in my life now, he continued. Yeah, it'd be great to have the newer car or the house renovation or the white picket fence and the picture-perfect family, but I think that kind of happiness is short-lived,

[00:03:56] or at least happiness can look very different than that. I'm experiencing a deep satisfaction and happiness because we know that this is what we were meant to do. Boom. Jason named something I've been trying to find the words to communicate for a long time.

[00:04:14] Our deepest happiness in life stems from fulfilling purpose. Doing the best we can where we are with what we've been given is the best way to live a life of meaning and significance. It's how to be happy. The lie we've been fed. Jason's experience of happiness

[00:04:34] flies in the face of what most people in Western society have been conditioned to believe about where happiness can be found. Retailers, advertisers, and marketers of every stripe have led us to believe that we'll be happy with the next thing we attain.

[00:04:51] This is the underlying message of every advertising campaign that we're not as happy or fulfilled as we would be with their product in our life. So we spend our time, energy, and resources on that which in the long run fails to satisfy.

[00:05:08] An article in USA Today put a price tag on the American dream so many of us have been taught is our birthright. According to their calculations, counting house, car, necessities, simple luxuries, even savings and retirement, it costs $103,357 a year to live the American dream.

[00:05:32] I find this incredibly foolish. I've spent 90% of my life making less than half that dollar figure and have never felt deprived in any way. But even more telling and unfortunate to me is how the article's writers defined the American dream. To them, it requires a $275,000 house,

[00:05:52] a four-wheel drive SUV, restaurants, entertainment, vacations, even maxed out 401k plan. This is how they define happiness in material terms and material terms only. This is the message we're constantly fed. As a result, we continually seek happiness in the next purchase. Clothing, phones, tech gadgets, cars, houses.

[00:06:19] We continually seek happiness in the next job or a bigger paycheck, more prestige, more power, more satisfaction, more dollars. We continually seek happiness in the next physical enhancement, tauter skin, slimmer figure, larger muscles. We continually seek happiness in the next escape, clubs, television, vacations, addictions.

[00:06:45] We continually seek happiness in the next relationship, the next woman or man who will meet our needs. And while these pursuits may pay off for a moment of pleasure, they consistently fail to deliver lasting happiness. That's why we constantly pursue more and more of them

[00:07:03] but are never fully satisfied. You can never accumulate enough of that which will never make you happy. Many of us are so busy chasing the next thing that we never pause to ask if what we're after would truly satisfy.

[00:07:18] So we feel a pang of envy scrolling through our sister-in-law's St. Thomas vacation photos. We may long for the leisure enjoyed by our neighbor who retired at 55 and now plays golf every day. We might even quietly believe that the parents of our child's friend

[00:07:35] are happier because of what they wear, where they live, and what they drive. But when we pause from our scramble long enough to reflect, we notice that the folks who are living the dream aren't as happy as we expected they might be.

[00:07:51] They're off chasing the next attainment just as feverishly as we are. When we're in our right minds, we recognize that lasting happiness must be found somewhere else than the pursuit of more perks and pleasures. My friend Sandra is someone who has been able to pause

[00:08:09] and name what makes her deeply satisfied. To be continued, you just listened to part one of the post titled Pursuing a Richer Fuller Level of Happiness by Joshua Becker of becomingminimalist.com and I'll be right back with my commentary. Thank you to Joshua.

[00:08:30] I can't argue with this one. It does seem like there is some happiness that comes with a purchase or a promotion, booking a vacation and so on. But there's not a lasting happiness. That's not to say that those things are bad. That should be clear. Vacations are great.

[00:08:49] But if we have a goal right now of trying to get a promotion to a job that we probably won't even like that much so that we can retire and be on permanent vacation, that's probably not the best thing to aspire to because for those that have retired,

[00:09:05] they usually realize that they want something productive to do that they enjoy and derive meaning from. We can't vacation constantly. Or maybe if you can and did, after some time, whether it be a month, a year or a couple of

[00:09:20] years, we'll grow tired of it and look for something else. Travel will become normalized. So I think it's more about finding that meaning and significance now instead of always thinking that we'll find it once X, Y and Z happen in our lives.

[00:09:38] But we're just halfway through the article for now. So with that, stick around for tomorrow's show where we'll finish this up and where your optimal life awaits.