3223: The Power of Saying “No” by Julie Freidell with No Sidebar on Simplifying Life & Minimalism Advice

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[00:00:42] The Power of Saying No, by Julie Friedel, with Notesidebar.com. And I'm Justin Malik. Now let's jump right into today's post as we optimize your life. The Power of Saying No, by Julie Friedel, with Notesidebar.com. Until about six years ago, I used to say yes to everyone.

[00:01:07] Friends, co-workers, family members, professors, and employers. I wanted to be well-liked, and I never wanted to let anyone down. I was a people pleaser. I was constantly over-committed, and I wasn't taking care of my own needs as much as I should have. I thrived on this busy lifestyle.

[00:01:28] My life didn't feel exciting and adventurous if my schedule was too open. For so long, I neglected my need to slow down and check in with myself. Eventually, this way of living blew up in my face. In my junior year of college, I experienced my first panic attack.

[00:01:47] I was eating dinner with friends when suddenly my body started shaking uncontrollably. My heart was pounding through my chest. My perception was thrown off. I was the most frightened I had ever been in my life. I thought I was dying. Thank God I was wrong.

[00:02:03] I wasn't prepared for how this episode would alter my everyday life. From that point forward, I experienced countless panic attacks and persistent anxiety. I had completely changed the way I was living because I had no other option.

[00:02:18] I dedicated my time to figuring out what was triggering my anxiety and finding the best ways to alleviate the symptoms. I practiced more yoga, started meditating, received acupuncture treatments, and went to a massage therapist. I read positive texts, spoke openly and honestly,

[00:02:36] made sure I was getting enough sleep, became more mindful, and slowed down my busy life. I've made countless life changes over the years. The biggest factor in allowing myself this time to heal and to get the anxiety under control was learning to say no more often.

[00:02:54] Whether you deal with anxiety or not, giving yourself permission to say no provides the power to delegate where and when you create space for yourself. It's still possible to be of service and to show up for others without sacrificing your own well-being.

[00:03:11] You just have to find a balance. Being busy is not ever the answer. In fact, when you're busy, you're not showing up for your loved ones in the way that you should be. Whether you've been forced like I was to eliminate a busy lifestyle

[00:03:28] or you just feel like you need to create more space for what matters, you can benefit from learning to say no. The power of saying no. Here are six ways your life will improve by saying no. 1. Experience less anxiety and stress.

[00:03:47] This is number one for me, for obvious reasons. Since I stopped trying to be everywhere and do everything with everyone, I've been able to address my own needs and find time for relaxation in moments where I used to feel rushed. 2. Enter into quality relationships.

[00:04:07] When you start decluttering your schedule, you can slow down and truly enjoy the time that you choose to spend with others. 3. Increase productivity. Giving yourself and your work the undivided attention it deserves is priceless. You won't be so preoccupied with a laundry list of things to get to.

[00:04:28] You'll have more time to be alone with your thoughts, explore your ideas, and pursue your passions. 4. Enjoy wholesome me-time. This is huge. When I lived a busy life, I had me-time but I'd rush through those activities, which misses the point in my opinion.

[00:04:49] Now, the time that I allot for myself is so special and rejuvenating for my soul. I carefully choose what I want to do and I soak up every second without thinking, what's next? 5. Improve family time.

[00:05:05] My husband and I agree that our best days are spent just being present with our two little girls regardless of what we're doing. Whether we're visiting the zoo or just playing in the backyard on a beautiful afternoon, we can fully enjoy spending time together when we're not over-committed.

[00:05:22] We can enjoy our time together because we're not distracted by other obligations. 6. Experience freedom. With more creative time and space in your schedule, you have more freedom. Be intentional about what takes up your time. Relish in the newfound blank spaces in your calendar

[00:05:42] and make it an opportunity to add more meaning to your life. Be inspired by my experience and develop a life for yourself where you can feel okay with saying no. Everyone deserves to take care of their own needs

[00:05:57] and to be free of a busy, anxious, and stressful life. Anxiety is still something I deal with, but it doesn't take over my life anymore because I've learned to take care of my own needs before I commit to others.

[00:06:11] Learn to say no for the sake of saying yes to a better life. You just listened to the post titled The Power of Saying No by Julie Friedell with NoSidebar.com and I'll be right back with my commentary.

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[00:07:23] Compensation provides incentive to positively promote Acorns. Investing involves risk. Acorns Advisors LLC and SEC Registered Investment Advisor. View important disclosures at Acorns.com slash old. Thank you to Julie, a guest writer on No Sidebar. I'm glad she mentioned that being less busy didn't cure her anxiety

[00:07:41] but that instead it gives her time to take care of her own needs. Anxiety could also happen by having too much free time. It's weird like that. Speaking of, there is that side to the argument. Perhaps you're already the type to say no to events,

[00:07:58] get-togethers, outings and so on. And maybe you could use more yeses in your life. There's always a balance. Some authors will write about saying no more often. Some will write about saying yes more often. One might apply to you, one might apply to me.

[00:08:16] Or one could apply to you in one season of life and the other in a different season. It's all about checking in and figuring out where you are and what you could use more of. And if it is indeed saying no more often,

[00:08:31] you might also like the very popular article from Derek Sivers talking about that. I narrated it way back in episode 44. So you can check that out for more. Or you can say no, it's up to you. But I'll leave it there for today.

[00:08:46] Thank you for sticking around until the end and coming back to listen every day. Wishing you a great start to your weekend and I'll see you tomorrow and over the weekend where your optimal life awaits.