3230: [Part 1] Stop Confusing Habits for Routines: What You Need To Know by Nir Eyal of Nir and Far on Personal Development

[00:00:00] This is Optimal Living Daily episode 3230 Stop confusing habits for routines what you need to know part 1 by Nir et al of near and far.com And I'm Justin Malik Happy Thursday

[00:00:14] Welcome to one of the only podcasts in the world where articles are narrated to you for free with permission from the authors And it's an award-winning podcast. Thanks to you and today have a bit of a longer post

[00:00:26] I'll read the first half but then finish the rest for you tomorrow So with that let's get right to part 1 and start optimizing your life Stop confusing habits for routines. What do you need to know part 1 by Nir et al of near and far.com

[00:00:47] Trying to build good habits can often backfire Here's why it's important to know how habits are formed and when it's better to stick with a routine instead Habits are hot self-help articles extol the power of habits and books on the topic sell by the millions

[00:01:05] yet like many pop psychology topics the conventional wisdom about the Effectiveness and application of habits is frequently outdated misapplied or flat-out wrong Building habits to change behavior the right way can be a wonderful tool to improve your life

[00:01:24] But false notions about what habits are and what they can do can backfire The idea of building a habit is very appealing the popular notion that tasks can be put on autopilot Makes habits sound effortless

[00:01:40] Wouldn't it be great if you could simply make a habit out of doing tasks like exercising Journaling paying bills or running a side business Well, unfortunately, you can't Habits don't work that way What are habits? According to dr. Benjamin Gardner a habit researcher at King's College London quote

[00:02:02] Habit works by generating an impulse to do a behavior with little or no conscious thought end quote Habits are a type of learning by forming a habit the brain frees the mind to do other things without deliberation as a child

[00:02:20] You needed reminding to wash your hands after using the toilet Children must focus on the task of turning on the water dispensing the soap Lathering up and cleaning their hands as an adult you do this

[00:02:34] Automatically, hopefully and you're able to think about other things as you take the steps to wash your hands Only some behaviors can become habits by definition behaviors that require concentration Deliberation or extended effort are not habits. This isn't just semantics

[00:02:55] We shouldn't try to form a habit out of a task that can never become one if we do we'll be sorely disappointed When we fail at forming a habit, we tend to blame ourselves

[00:03:07] Rather than the bad advice we read from someone who doesn't really understand what can and cannot be a habit If behaviors that require conscious thought like cleaning your apartment or writing in a journal daily are not habits Then what are they?

[00:03:24] Well, they're routines a routine is a sequence of actions regularly followed Habits are a type of routine, but not all routines become habits To change behavior. You need to understand the difference between a habit and a routine

[00:03:40] Otherwise, it's like using the blunt end of a screwdriver to bash in a nail It's possible, but you're likely to give up or hurt yourself. You should have used a hammer instead

[00:03:51] How do we tell the difference between behaviors that are good candidates to become habits and those best left as routines? To answer that question. We need to start with a more fundamental question Why do we do anything? What is motivation?

[00:04:07] For years we thought that Sigmund Freud's pleasure principle is the basis of human motivation He promoted the idea that behavior is driven by the desire to seek pleasure and avoid pain Behaviorists like BF Skinner popularized the notion that reinforcements and punishments drive conditioned behavior

[00:04:27] But we now know that motivation is not driven by pleasure and pain rather neurologically speaking Motivation is the desire to escape discomfort all human behavior Even the itch of desire to do something pleasurable is in fact prompted by pain. It's called the homeostatic response

[00:04:50] Our brains get our bodies to do what they want through discomfort So when we're cold we put on a coat when we feel hunger pangs we eat Does feeling warm again or eating food bring pleasure? Of course, but that good feeling comes after

[00:05:08] We're spurred into action by an uncomfortable sensation Prompting us to take action the same rule applies to psychological discomfort when we feel lonely bored or Uncertain we act to relieve our emotional disquietude

[00:05:26] We might see a friend to relieve loneliness or watch a show on television when we're bored We may look up something online to satisfy our uncertainty all because we seek to escape these uncomfortable sensations the difference between habits and routines

[00:05:44] If all behavior is prompted by discomfort then habits and routines must follow the same rule How and when we feel the discomfort of doing or not doing a behavior is critical to understanding the difference between habits and routines

[00:06:01] Recall that part of the reason people find the idea of building a habit So appealing is the notion that they can put unfun tasks on autopilot Tasks like paying bills or doing the laundry annoy us

[00:06:15] They hang over our heads until the pain of not doing them gets to be too much However, if some magic laundry folding fairy appeared and told you not to worry about the task you'd happily go about your day

[00:06:29] Turns out your brain comes built in with such a magic pixie. It's called procrastination When we procrastinate we tell ourselves we'll avoid the task for later Doing so is a telltale sign. The task is a routine and not a good candidate to become a habit

[00:06:49] Unlike a routine which feels uncomfortable to do in the case of a habit not doing a behavior feels bad Imagine intending to wash your hands and the water Suddenly shuts off if you're in the habit not doing the behavior would feel strange even

[00:07:07] Uncomfortable, even if the magic habit fairy told you your hands have been cleaned and there was no need to wash them It would take you several days if not weeks to undo this habitual behavior

[00:07:20] I recently experienced just such a predicament when the water to my bathroom sink was shut off because of construction in my building I needed to use the kitchen sink to wash my hands for a week

[00:07:32] Even though I was fully aware that the bathroom sink wasn't going to work. I kept turning it on day after day out of habit Every time I lifted the faucet handle and no water came out. My habit was interrupted and I'd get annoyed

[00:07:47] I knew the faucet wouldn't work, but I kept attempting to do the behavior with little thought a Habit feels uncomfortable when we don't do it exactly. The opposite is true of routines This is where people get into trouble confusing habits and routines

[00:08:04] They expect routines to be as effortless as habits while the only thing about routines that's easy is how easy they are to skip Not doing an effortful task like doing the laundry or writing in a journal is easy to forget because such

[00:08:20] Behaviors are not a habit their routine that requires effort How habits are formed? Hear that on tomorrow's episode You just listen to part one of the post titled stop confusing habits for routines

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[00:09:50] Thank you, Nenear. I'll finish the rest of this post for you tomorrow Some really interesting points on motivation and that the bottom line is that motivation comes about from our want to escape Discomfort he's saying that all behavior is prompted by this phenomenon

[00:10:06] Which doesn't come up much on this show if at all So it's fascinating to hear this side of it and to think about it in our own lives I thought there were some good quotes in there one towards the end that stuck with me

[00:10:18] He said unlike a routine which feels uncomfortable to do in the case of a habit not doing a behavior feels bad So I guess my question is he's saying that we expect routines to be effortless like habits

[00:10:33] But they actually do require effort and are uncomfortable. So they're different than habits, but Can routines turn into habits, that's my question Does it become uncomfortable to not journal or not do the laundry? For example, I wonder hopefully he'll answer that tomorrow

[00:10:53] Not positive. He will like you. I haven't read the second half of this article yet. So we'll see but that's it for now Thank you for being here listening every day and I'll see you tomorrow where we'll finish up this post

[00:11:04] Hopefully getting some answers and where your optimal life awaits You