3231: [Part 2] Stop Confusing Habits for Routines: What You Need To Know by Nir Eyal of Nir and Far on Self Improvement

[00:00:00] Before we start, please check out our new podcast, Good Sleep. Have you ever noticed how a calm mind can really set the stage for a good night's sleep? That's the idea behind our new podcast, Good Sleep.

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[00:00:26] So press play on Good Sleep tonight, because a good tomorrow starts with a good night's sleep. Just search for Good Sleep in your podcast app and be sure to pick the one from Optimal Living Daily. This is Optimal Living Daily, episode 3231. Stop Confusing Habits for Routines.

[00:00:44] What You Need to Know, Part 2 by Nir Eyal of Nirandfar.com, and I'm Justin Malik. Happy Friday, welcome to the old podcast, the OLD Podcast, Optimal Living Daily, where I read to you like a big ongoing audiobook from many different authors.

[00:01:01] But today being a continuation from yesterday, so I recommend listening to yesterday's episode first. But if you're all caught up, let's get right to part 2 and continue optimizing your life. Stop Confusing Habits for Routines. What You Need to Know, Part 2 by Nir Eyal of Nirandfar.com.

[00:01:26] Some self-help books claim habits form by simply providing a reward after acute behavior. In the behaviorist tradition, they base their claims on research showing how a lab animal, like a mouse, can be taught to memorize a path through a maze in search of food.

[00:01:45] However, while this form of learning, called operant conditioning, works well for a mouse in a maze, the model is often misapplied for humans in the real world. Operant conditioning can be effective when a scientist in a lab coat sets up the task for test subjects to complete.

[00:02:04] However, in life, we're thankfully not trapped in cages and mazes. We must moderate our own behavior. Unfortunately, we must be scientists attempting to design our own actions. Offering ourselves extrinsic rewards makes conditioning our own behavior very difficult. It can be exceedingly hard to resist cheating.

[00:02:27] Setting up arbitrary prizes risks overemphasizing completing a goal for the sake of the reward instead of learning to enjoy the process. Start with a routine. First, we have to accept that only certain kinds of behaviors can become habits and that certain behaviors will never become habits.

[00:02:49] Only then can we take the first step to changing our repeated behaviors. For those actions that can turn into habits, we can begin by making them into routines. As long as we know the difference between a habit, a behavior done with little or no

[00:03:05] thought, and a routine, a series of actions regularly followed, we can plan accordingly and not be disappointed. Build the time. Since we can't count on routines to happen automatically the way habits do, we need to make sure to allocate time for them.

[00:03:23] Many people go through their days with aspirations to accomplish a list of tasks, but without dedicating time on their calendars to do them, they never get everything done. Setting an implementation intention, which is just a fancy way of saying that you will

[00:03:39] plan what you are going to do and when you're going to do it, has been shown to boost the likelihood of following through. Without a dedicated time reserved for your new routine, chances are it will never get done. Welcome discomfort.

[00:03:56] It's important to expect that learning and repeatedly doing a new behavior requires effort. Expect discomfort and know that you will have to push through it. Along with setting expectations that new routines won't be effortless, you can learn coping techniques to deal with discomfort in a healthier manner.

[00:04:16] For instance, you can learn to reimagine the difficulty in a positive way by telling yourself a different story. Instead of focusing on how hard writing or exercising every day can be, think of the difficulty as part of the journey.

[00:04:32] Know that everyone who has ever made a routine out of this behavior has struggled at some point. If you desire to go to the gym regularly but dislike exercise, find ways to see it differently. Envision every drop of sweat as a sign your body is getting stronger.

[00:04:50] Learn to see the burn as tiny muscle fibers getting better at doing their job as your body rises to the challenge. Perception is a matter of perspective, no matter the routine. You can choose to reimagine your discomfort as a good thing.

[00:05:06] This may seem like a stretch for someone who hates exercise as I once did, but it's useful to remember that many people have learned to love the very same difficulty you despise. If they can see it differently, why can't you? Pre-commit.

[00:05:23] Before a behavior can become a habit, it needs to become a regularly performed routine. But given how effortful routines can be, it's far too easy to skip a difficult task. Thankfully, making a pre-commitment is a fantastic way to ensure you do what you say you will do.

[00:05:42] For instance, if writing or exercising daily is a routine you want to adopt, finding someone to hold you accountable will increase your odds of success. Sites like Focusmate make finding someone to work alongside easy. Note I liked Focusmate so much I decided to invest in the company.

[00:06:02] You can also pre-commit to a routine by using software like Forest on your phone and Freedom on your computer to prevent distraction and keep you on task. Do it right. By not expecting every aspiration to become an effortless habit, you increase your odds of success.

[00:06:21] If it's the right kind of behavior, one that can be done with little or no conscious thought, the routine can become a habit. It's important to remember not to try and turn hard-to-do behaviors into habits. Doing so risks frustration and failure.

[00:06:37] Instead, accept that it's perfectly fine that some behaviors will remain routines and expect them to never become effortless. By focusing on forming solid routines through the steps outlined, you'll have a better chance of sticking to what's important to you while increasing the odds that some routines may

[00:06:56] blossom into habits. Did you just listen to part 2 of the post titled, Stop Confusing Habits for Routines, What You Need to Know? By Nir Eyal of nearandfar.com. And I'll be right back with my commentary.

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[00:08:19] Thank you again to Nir. By the way, his name is spelled N-I-R, and that's how his website is spelled too. My question yesterday was about if uncomfortable things could become more uncomfortable to not do them, thus becoming habits.

[00:08:35] And I think it can, it just depends on the person and the routine. Like maybe a certain kind of exercise could become a habit in your life, but not in mine,

[00:08:45] so it could be good to think about what habits and or routines we're trying to adopt in our own life and see if we can make it more likely to become a habit. Under what conditions would we feel uncomfortable not doing that activity?

[00:09:00] But like he said, we can also change our thinking around those uncomfortable activities and find that discomfort rewarding. A common theme of this podcast is that as much as running from discomfort is built into

[00:09:14] us, doing that too much can be problematic, and changing the way we think about it can turn this around and improve our lives. How we think is what's most important, and that's also a common theme on this podcast. So lots to think about with this article.

[00:09:32] Big thanks to Nir for letting me share his work, and thank you for being here and coming back to listen. Have a great start to your weekend, and I'll be back tomorrow as usual, so I'll see you there where your optimal life awaits.