3250: Finding the Balance Between Rest and Hustle by Jennifer of Simply Fiercely on Mental Health

[00:00:00] This is Optimal Living Daily, episode 3250, Finding the Balance Between Rest and Hustle by Jennifer of Simply Fiercely.com and I'm your narrator Justin Malik, reading you blogs every single day of the year, including holidays. Without further ado, let's get right to it as we optimize your life.

[00:00:18] Finding the Balance Between Rest and Hustle by Jennifer of Simply Fiercely.com I have to confess that since I started this blog, one of my biggest challenges has been finding balance. Specifically, I'm struggling to find my upper limit.

[00:00:38] How do I know when it's time for me to put my head down and get things done, and when it's time to walk away and take care of myself? Where do I find the balance between rest and hustle?

[00:00:48] This has always been a problem for me in every line of work I've ever had, but I feel more conflicted now than ever before. In part, it's because blogging and writing is a very personal project,

[00:00:59] but I also believe that I'm constantly on the receiving end of two powerful, yet seemingly contradictory, messages. Let's start with the one that every girl boss knows too well, hustle. I see it everywhere I look online, Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, MeMails. Good things come to those at hustle.

[00:01:18] Hustle beats talent when talent doesn't hustle. The dream is free, but the hustle is sold separately. On many levels, this speaks to me deeply. Growing up in an immigrant family, hard work was like religion to us.

[00:01:31] I watched as my grandparents worked 365 days a year into their late 60s, and my mom worked two jobs while putting herself through school. Hard work was normal and also honorable, so by 16, I had two jobs too.

[00:01:46] I used to be insanely proud of the long hours and my over-the-top work ethic, but don't get me wrong, these days I know busy isn't something to be glorified. Looking back, I made my life much more difficult than it needed to be

[00:01:59] because I was obsessed with maintaining a bigger lifestyle than I really needed. But still, the idea that I should always be willing to go the extra mile is strongly imprinted in my psyche. But what about rest?

[00:02:14] Over the past few years, I've become a strong believer in the power and importance of rest and self-care. I've noticed it has a strong online voice too. We don't have to do it all, sometimes you need to slow down.

[00:02:26] Rest is the new hustle, the last one is my fave. I know rest is important. As I wrote a few months ago, I've realized that when I don't make time to take care of myself, I get burnt out and stop caring about just about everything.

[00:02:40] When I'm mentally and physically drained, I go into survival mode, eat, sleep, work, repeat, and I stop making time for the things that bring me joy. Maybe you've noticed this about yourself too. So where do we find the balance?

[00:02:53] How do we know when to push through and make things happen, and when to walk away and make time for rest? I've been asking myself for the past few months, and this is what I've found out. Pay attention to your emotions.

[00:03:05] Hands up if your work has ever frustrated you to the point that you've cried and thought about giving up, gotten angry and aggressive with other people, or been ready to throw your laptop out the window. Handheld high is definitely a yes from me on all three accounts.

[00:03:20] My usual response to one of these emotional states has been to push through and just get on with it, but to be honest, this doesn't work very well for me. I'm realizing that whatever job I'm working on ends up taking me twice as long,

[00:03:33] the results are often poor quality, and I'm left in a very grouchy mood. So for the past few months, I've been trying something different. I've accepted that these emotional responses, sadness mixed with self-doubt, frustration with a touch of aggression or good old fashioned anger

[00:03:50] are my body's way of telling me it's time for a break. At first, making this change was hard. It took time for me to retrain my mind to understand that taking time for rest was actually a productive strategy and not quitting, which is what instincts were shouting.

[00:04:07] But the results started speaking for themselves. I'm getting more done and I'm arguably less cranky. Except you don't always have to give 100%. I grew up hearing and believing that successful people always put 100% into everything they do, and for the most part, I've acted on this faithfully.

[00:04:27] But lately, I've started to challenge this belief. First of all, it's not working. I'm begrudgingly accepting I have limited time and energy and I can't do it all, even if I want to. Putting 100% into my work all the time leaves me nothing left to invest in myself.

[00:04:44] But it goes beyond limited resources. I've realized investing so much of myself into everything I do is wasteful. For some tasks, good enough is... well, good enough. Consider taking an hour to craft a perfect email versus 10 minutes to send a quick response which adequately conveys your message.

[00:05:04] Was your email worth the extra investment of 50 minutes of your time? Or would that time have been better spent in a yoga class or spending time with your partner? I think the real key to success is being able to consistently make this judgment call.

[00:05:18] Again, at times, this has been a tough pill to swallow. My compulsion for excellence, or let's call it what it really is, perfectionism, definitely makes walking away from my laptop difficult at times,

[00:05:30] but I'm trying to remember that I need to keep investing in myself in order to move forward with my work. Rest when you rest. Finally, I'm learning that when it's time to rest, it's time to rest.

[00:05:42] It's not time to browse social media or to worry about my to-do list or to tidy the house. I know it's hard. I honestly believe that somewhere in the last decade or so we actually lost our ability to rest.

[00:05:53] Have you ever noticed when you go on holiday, it takes a few days now to really start to relax and unwind? It's because we're so accustomed to being busy that it actually feels strange or even uncomfortable to just do nothing.

[00:06:07] So instead, we instinctively try and fill the time with little tasks so that we feel productive all under the guise of rest. But the result is not increased productivity, instead it's increased exhaustion. This is why we are all tired all the time because we never truly stop.

[00:06:24] So be present with friends, sleep when you're tired, and rest when you rest. You just listened to the post titled, Finding the Balance Between Rest and Hustle by Jennifer of SimplyFearSlee.com and I'll be right back with my commentary. Thank you to Jennifer.

[00:06:45] This one is a good reminder for me. It's easy for me to get sucked into work and stay up late because I get excited about working on something or if I get in a flow state and don't want to lose it.

[00:06:57] I like to finish things compared to having open-ended projects so I tend to push myself to finish something even if it means staying up a couple hours later than normal. Now that said, lately I've been letting go of these patterns.

[00:07:12] I used to identify as a night owl but when I was away and had to wake up at, I don't know, around 7 o'clock in the morning every day, I adapted pretty quickly and felt good doing it. Especially not having my phone or computer or an internet connection.

[00:07:28] So that sort of broke that belief I had about me always being a night owl. It also helped me let go of this idea that I need to finish projects in the moment.

[00:07:39] I don't have to identify with this and I can make a choice, choosing rest because I know long term I'm better off for it. So all that to say, I think a little bit of awareness here goes a long way

[00:07:52] but sometimes we just need to bite the bullet and try a different way of being for a while to see how it goes. So do try things out, experiment, have a great rest of your day and I'll see you tomorrow as usual, where your optimal life awaits.