3254: Why the Illusion of Control Is Hurting Your Goals by Nir Eyal of Nir and Far on Self Help

[00:00:00] This is Optimal Living Daily Episode 3254 Why the Illusion of Control Is Hurting Your Goals by Nir Eyal of Nirandfar.com And I'm Justin Malik, your very own personal narrator. And we'll jump right into another post and start optimizing your life.

[00:00:21] Why the Illusion of Control Is Hurting Your Goals by Nir Eyal of Nirandfar.com Let's try something. Imagine you've just crashed and landed somewhere in the Sonoran Desert deep in the American Southwest. Though the aircraft is now a small, during wreck, you miraculously survived, uninjured,

[00:00:42] and now find yourself all alone as the sole survivor. Temperatures are topping 110 degrees and you're stranded. Thankfully, you've managed to find a few supplies in the wreckage, but while some of the things are vital to your survival, others are useless.

[00:01:00] To stay alive until rescuers arrive, you must decide which among these items are most important. A loaded 45 caliber pistol, a book titled Edible Plants and Animals of the Desert, a bottle of salt, 10 one gallon jugs of water, red and white parachutes,

[00:01:21] a compress kit with gauze, two quarts of brandy, a sectional map of the area, a flashlight, a jackknife, a topcoat, a plastic raincoat, two pairs of sunglasses, a cosmetic mirror, and a magnetic compass. Now quickly rank the five most important items.

[00:01:43] Start with what's most vital and assign it a one, then work your way down to five. What are the few things you'll most need to ensure you'll live to see your loved ones again? Did you survive?

[00:01:57] How you rank these items depended on what you planned to do next. If you decided to stay right where you were, you would have picked supplies to help you signal for help like the mirror and decrease dehydration

[00:02:09] like the water and the topcoat as you waited for rescuers to arrive. And guess what? You would have likely survived. Because the search and rescue team would have been dispatched based on your last known position. The closer you are to that position, the more quickly you'll be found.

[00:02:28] However if your strategy involved leaving the crash site, maybe you thought you would take the map and compass to help you hike to civilization and the gun to make your way through the wild. I'm sad to inform you that you likely wouldn't have made it.

[00:02:43] Versions of this exercise have been used for years in various trainings. Most people fail, including me. Like when I took the test as an MBA student at Stanford. The assignment was part of a class on organizational behavior intended to tease out group dynamics and making difficult decisions.

[00:03:00] The debate on the right strategy was tumultuous, but by the end of the class every team guessed incorrectly except one. The group with the former F-18 fighter pilot had an unfair advantage. Why is it that nearly everyone chooses to venture off into the unknown

[00:03:18] when the better option is to stay in one place? One word, control. What is the illusion of control bias? The illusion of control bias, a term first coined by psychologist Alan Langer, is a tendency for people to believe that they have more control over outcomes

[00:03:39] than they actually do. For example, gamblers are known to throw dice harder when hoping for high numbers. In the survival scenario for most people, staying put and doing nothing just seems like a bad idea.

[00:03:53] Trying to make the journey to the nearest town just feels better and more productive than waiting in place for an indeterminate amount of time, hungry, alone, and with nothing to do. We have a strong desire to alleviate discomfort, including the type that's psychological. Here's an example.

[00:04:12] Have you ever noticed someone pushing the call elevator button even though the button is clearly already lit? I must admit I've done it myself. Particularly when in a rush, I want to make sure the button has been pressed correctly

[00:04:25] as if there were a way to press it incorrectly. It's not rational and yet in the moment, I can't help myself. I'm craving control. Fun fact, the closed door buttons in most elevators made since the 1990s are created for emergency personnel with a key or special instructions,

[00:04:45] not for the general public. So that anxious Joe pressing the button over and over is actually doing nothing. This need for perceived control is a fixture of everyday life. Whenever I'm writing an article, I feel the urge to Google something.

[00:05:01] It's easy to justify this bad habit as doing research, but deep down I know it's often just a distraction from difficult work. I'm anxious about succeeding in the task before me, but I know I can complete that Google search successfully.

[00:05:16] It's an action I can take to feel in control, if only for a moment. Even though I know the better decision is to stay with my head down and keep writing. Another common trigger is boredom. Boredom is uncomfortable and when you're feeling bored,

[00:05:32] you have an urge to get that discomfort under control. For that discomfort, something like a mindless social media check can feel like a salve. It's an action you can take to feel in control of a situation that's uncomfortable and that control is what you're really craving.

[00:05:49] Most of us face hundreds of these small battles every day. Internal triggers prompt us to engage in distracting habits and behaviors. An app, a snack or a cigarette. How do you overcome the illusion of control? The good news is that as soon as you understand this trap,

[00:06:08] like a member of the Air Force who's trained in survival, you can arm yourself with the skills necessary to avoid it. One of the skills is to identify the feeling or thought behind your urges.

[00:06:20] When you find yourself about to do something besides the thing you should be doing, find the internal trigger that is prompting you to do so. Are you feeling anxious, restless, maybe even poorly qualified for the task? Another strategy is timeboxing your schedule

[00:06:37] which means deciding what you're going to do and when you're going to do it and then making a schedule that helps you stick to your goals. These tools will help you see beyond the illusion of control and reap the benefits of real agency,

[00:06:53] which you'll need to not only survive, but thrive. You just listened to the post titled Why the illusion of control is hurting your goals by NierAol of NierAnFar.com and I'll be right back with my commentary. Think it in here.

[00:07:13] At the end there he mentioned a couple of tactics that we can use and the first is to identify the feeling or thought behind your urge so when you find yourself doing something else like distracting yourself you can look to see what's actually causing that.

[00:07:30] I think that's a bit easier said than done. In my experience at least I find it takes a lot of brain power to first notice that we're distracting ourselves and then second, analyze it. But that said, I think we can build that muscle through practices like

[00:07:46] journaling and meditation. But the one that sit out to me most is time boxing and making a schedule. I actually historically have really dislike schedules and I tend to do more of what I'm feeling in the moment but over time, like years and possibly decades

[00:08:03] and with help of articles like these and reading to you every day I think it'd be really beneficial to pencil in time for whatever it is that I want to do. We hear this often over on optimal health daily. So maybe that's of interest to you

[00:08:17] and I actually narrated a couple of articles about time boxing so you can check those out for more. One was episode 15 way back in the day and the other is 1930. I'm definitely going to revisit those so I can implement it.

[00:08:32] But that should do it for today. Thank you for being here every day. I hope you're having a great morning, afternoon or evening whenever you're listening to this and I'll see you tomorrow where your optimal life awaits.