3270: 5 Ways to Press the Pause Button on Your Life by Erica Layne on Mindfulness

[00:00:00] This is Optimal Living Daily, Episode 3270, 5 Ways to Press the Pause Button on Your Life by Erica Layne of EricaLayne.co, and I'm Justin Malik, your very own personal narrator. We're going to jump right into another post and start optimizing your life.

[00:00:21] Five Ways to Press the Pause Button on Your Life by Erica Layne of EricaLayne.co. What's the age when you look at a child and suddenly see his future self as much as you see his past self?

[00:00:35] I think it might be 8, because lately when I really look at my oldest, I see him as a teenager almost as much as I see him as the child I've known for the last 8 years.

[00:00:47] Sometimes that face, that mixture of boyish and mature, almost knocks the wind out of me. I'm sure every mother has thought it at one point, where can I hit the pause button? Please let me slow down the passing of days.

[00:01:01] It's not just motherhood that inspires this in me. It's the changing of the seasons, the new wrinkles around my eyes, a friend moving away. Change of any kind reminds us to savor where we're at while we're still here. That sounds nice, but...

[00:01:20] But most of the time, life hums along as it always does and I, for one, need some kind of strategy, a formula almost, to help me stop living for the future and start experiencing the moment I'm in.

[00:01:34] I recently got to speak at a local women's conference and for weeks before the event, I turned this topic over and over in my mind reflecting on the biggest differences between my life now and my life 7 years ago before I started consciously slowing down.

[00:01:52] I eventually narrowed it down to 5 things that I think have made the biggest impact. 5 things that, if I weren't doing them, would make my life look significantly different. 5 things that almost let me press pause. 5 ways to press the pause button on your life, the formula I swear by.

[00:02:12] Number 1. Know yourself and live by your values. What are your deepest intentions, your core values? What do you prioritize over everything else? The first and most foundational step to a slower lifestyle is knowing who you are and what makes you tick.

[00:02:31] When you know what's at your core, it's so much easier to let the extras fall to the side. Number 2. Stop being a stuff manager. Could life as a stuff manager be keeping you from really being there with your people?

[00:02:47] My life as a stuff manager has been linked to emotional heaviness and depression. But more than anything, it's really just one more thing to spend time on. When my husband and I were newlyweds, we packed up only what we could fit into our

[00:03:00] Toyota Corolla and drove halfway across the country for his grad degree. For a year, that's all we lived with. And anything we bought, we knew we'd have to either leave it behind or figure out how

[00:03:13] to pack it in the car when it was time to drive back home. I noticed in that relatively bare apartment how little time I spent on stuff. There was less to clean, little to organize, and nowhere for stuff to hide. It was amazing. I've never forgotten that feeling.

[00:03:30] And even though we have three kids now, collectors of party favors and other such valuables, we try our best to keep stuff to a minimum. Fewer toys. Clearer floors. Smaller wardrobes. Less laundry. Fewer trips to the store. Fewer possessions to store and care for.

[00:03:51] What we exchange in belongings, we get back in time. Number three. Open yourself to beauty and adventure. I distinctly remember the first time my young family new to California hit the beach right at golden hour.

[00:04:08] I'd been in a stressful, heavy season but felt absolutely cracked open by the beauty of the sun setting into the ocean, casting a golden glow onto my beautiful children. It's almost impossible to be anywhere but the moment when you're taking in something beautiful. Number four.

[00:04:27] Adopt a noticing practice. At the end of each day, can you take even one minute to mentally run back over your day and bring into focus a few small, easy-to-miss moments that meant something to you? Think of it as a gratitude practice, but more specific, more focused.

[00:04:47] From the smile you heard in your mom's voice to the sound of your spouse pulling in the trash bins. Jot them down in a journal, put a voice to them when you pray, or post a photo to Instagram. Do it regularly and this will become your noticing practice.

[00:05:03] I use my husband as my sounding board and accountability partner when I'm actively practicing this. He says I'm always happier, and I would add, more present when I am. And number five. Fill your own cup. A few years ago I was in a stage you've probably been in.

[00:05:23] I was working from home, raising two little kids and running the household while my husband clocked what felt like a million hours at the office. I took care of everyone at the expense of taking care of myself. I thought my stage of life demanded it.

[00:05:38] Over time I've learned that an attitude of compassion toward ourselves helps us operate from a place of fullness rather than running on empty. Self-care means giving the world the best of you instead of what is left of you. Katie Reid.

[00:05:55] When I get that nagging, uncomfortable feeling that something is off in my life, I can almost always trace it back to one of these five things lacking. Once I add it back in, I find that things start clicking into place again. I hope you find the same.

[00:06:12] After all, if you can't literally press pause, you might as well at least get close. You just listened to the post titled, Five Ways to Press the Pause Button on Your Life by Erica Lane of ericalane.co and I'll be right back with my commentary.

[00:06:32] Thank you to Erica, a nice reminder for today and this week. This comes up every now and again, but worth repeating. A gratitude practice is a great way to stop and notice.

[00:06:45] Erica said you can jot them down in a journal, voice them or post it on social media. You can do any of those. Or just think about it. It can be a really simple and quick practice.

[00:07:00] For me personally, I've done the kind where you write it down every single day. Probably for about a year I think I was practicing in that way. But what I'm doing now is simply just thinking about it before falling asleep. I find that just as helpful.

[00:07:15] It might be the same for you. Or maybe you do get extra value out of writing it or posting it. That's totally fine. I do recommend trying out different ways. But I'd say, do try something.

[00:07:29] Maybe it's not even gratitude but you try something else that you discovered in this article or on this podcast as a whole. Just try something because the more we try, the more we'll figure out what works best for us and then the more value we'll get.

[00:07:45] So just a little encouragement for you today. I hope you got value out of this one. Thank you for being here. Have a happy rest of your day and I'll see you tomorrow as usual where your optimal life awaits.