3295: Let’s Stop Feeling Guilty About These 7 Things by Erica Layne with NoSidebar on Self Care

[00:00:00] [SPEAKER_00]: This is Optimal Living Daily. Let's Stop Feeling Guilty About These 7 Things by Erica Layne with NoSidebar.com and I'm Justin Malik.

[00:00:10] [SPEAKER_00]: And I'll jump right into today's post as we optimize your life.

[00:00:18] [SPEAKER_00]: Let's Stop Feeling Guilty About These 7 Things by Erica Layne with NoSidebar.com

[00:00:24] [SPEAKER_00]: We sat on a bench next to the playground watching our kids swing and climb after a long day of school.

[00:00:30] [SPEAKER_00]: It was grey out. We'd barely seen the sun all week.

[00:00:35] [SPEAKER_00]: Does this weather make you incredibly sleepy? I asked through a yawn.

[00:00:39] [SPEAKER_00]: My friend agreed wholeheartedly.

[00:00:41] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't even have an excuse, I said with a laugh. I just woke up from a nap.

[00:00:46] [SPEAKER_00]: She looked at me incredulously, adding that she almost never sits down during the day

[00:00:51] [SPEAKER_00]: and can't remember the last time she took a nap on a weekday.

[00:00:55] [SPEAKER_00]: Now she told me this. I could see on her face that she was torn between pride and regret at this admission.

[00:01:03] [SPEAKER_00]: Was her productivity worth it? Would life keep humming along without her vigilance?

[00:01:08] [SPEAKER_00]: What would it feel like to take an hour-long nap on a Wednesday?

[00:01:12] [SPEAKER_00]: When I asked her why she never sits down at home, she stumbled a bit and landed on, I don't know,

[00:01:19] [SPEAKER_00]: I guess, just feel guilty. That word, guilty, pops up so often in our lives.

[00:01:27] [SPEAKER_00]: For a while I thought I felt less of it than other women I know and love.

[00:01:31] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm comfortable taking a different place than a lot of my peers, but lately I've been noticing

[00:01:36] [SPEAKER_00]: so many areas where guilt pops up both for me and for the people I'm close to.

[00:01:42] [SPEAKER_00]: Guilt serves us when it helps us notice and address our shortcomings, but dwelling in it

[00:01:48] [SPEAKER_00]: only slows our growth. Worse yet, sometimes we feel guilt for no good reason at all.

[00:01:55] [SPEAKER_00]: I love these tongue-in-cheek words from Calvin of Calvin & Hobbes.

[00:02:00] [SPEAKER_00]: There's no problem so awful that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse.

[00:02:07] [SPEAKER_00]: Next time you feel that too familiar paying of guilt, push back a little.

[00:02:13] [SPEAKER_00]: Ask yourself if this is something you can genuinely learn from and improve on.

[00:02:18] [SPEAKER_00]: If so, make note, do your best to follow through and move on.

[00:02:24] [SPEAKER_00]: Stop feeling guilty about these seven things.

[00:02:27] [SPEAKER_00]: If instead you find that the guilt is unfounded like I think is often the case with the seven following triggers, set it aside.

[00:02:36] [SPEAKER_00]: 1. Sitting down

[00:02:39] [SPEAKER_00]: As I say, you can't pour from an empty cup. Take time to rest. Practice simple self-care.

[00:02:46] [SPEAKER_00]: Take a whole day off and call it a mental health day.

[00:02:49] [SPEAKER_00]: Sitting down doesn't always come at the cost of your productivity.

[00:02:52] [SPEAKER_00]: It might just make you more effective when you get back up.

[00:02:56] [SPEAKER_00]: 2. Prioritizing your life and sticking to it

[00:03:00] [SPEAKER_00]: Living by your values feels amazing except for those times when your priorities don't line up with others.

[00:03:07] [SPEAKER_00]: Nothing stirs up the guilt like saying no.

[00:03:11] [SPEAKER_00]: But as always remember that a quiet, all-pass lets you say a big yes to the things that really matter to you.

[00:03:19] [SPEAKER_00]: 3. Not living the minimalist lifestyle you have in your head

[00:03:24] [SPEAKER_00]: Let's say you have a mother who wants to pass her collectibles to you

[00:03:28] [SPEAKER_00]: or you have a kid who has fallen hard for swimming and needs shuttled to and from practices and meets.

[00:03:35] [SPEAKER_00]: Let's say, and this is totally hypothetical, you have a husband who has never thrown away a t-shirt.

[00:03:41] [SPEAKER_00]: But you, you have a different lifestyle in mind, a slower gait, a less cluttered home.

[00:03:48] [SPEAKER_00]: Our family members values don't always match our own or at least not right away.

[00:03:52] [SPEAKER_00]: It shouldn't make you feel less than. It just adds a little more richness to your story.

[00:03:59] [SPEAKER_00]: 4. Quiet Ambition

[00:04:02] [SPEAKER_00]: Have you ever read a motivational quote on Pinterest that actually made you feel guilty for not being blindingly ambitious?

[00:04:09] [SPEAKER_00]: Something about how if you work hard and never sleep, you can do anything?

[00:04:14] [SPEAKER_00]: If your vision for your life is more of a slow-burning fire, that's okay.

[00:04:19] [SPEAKER_00]: The world needs people who do good things at their own pace, one foot in front of another.

[00:04:25] [SPEAKER_00]: 5. Pursuing Interests That Aren't Money Making

[00:04:30] [SPEAKER_00]: There's so much beauty in a side hustle that is just for your own joy.

[00:04:35] [SPEAKER_00]: 6. Feeling Everything Or Not Feeling Everything

[00:04:40] [SPEAKER_00]: In the last year I've become aware of all the feelings I'm absorbing.

[00:04:43] [SPEAKER_00]: I take on the feelings of my husband, my children, the grocery clerk who looked tired,

[00:04:50] [SPEAKER_00]: and the woman I read about in the news.

[00:04:52] [SPEAKER_00]: If you tend to do life this way, you know that caring all of this takes a toll,

[00:04:57] [SPEAKER_00]: so we have to be careful about how much we let in.

[00:05:00] [SPEAKER_00]: But our sensitivity also makes us good friends, great parents, and apathetic people.

[00:05:06] [SPEAKER_00]: Try not to feel guilty for the way you are.

[00:05:10] [SPEAKER_00]: 7. Wanting to Be Alone

[00:05:13] [SPEAKER_00]: If you're a parent, especially an introverted one,

[00:05:16] [SPEAKER_00]: you know the irony of loving your family more than anything while also wanting to get away more than anything.

[00:05:23] [SPEAKER_00]: Strangely, these two feelings are not mutually exclusive,

[00:05:26] [SPEAKER_00]: and you're not the only one experiencing them.

[00:05:29] [SPEAKER_00]: Refer to number 1 for a pep talk about why rest and rejuvenation, including solo time, are absolutely worth it.

[00:05:36] [SPEAKER_00]: So I hope this list helps you walk with lighter shoulders as you learn to brush off any guilt that's holding you in one place.

[00:05:44] [SPEAKER_00]: And you can bet that that day at the park, my friend left with strict instructions from me to make that nap happen.

[00:05:55] [SPEAKER_00]: You just listened to the post titled, Let's Stop Feeling Guilty About These 7 Things by Erica Lane with nosidebar.com,

[00:06:02] [SPEAKER_00]: and I'll be right back with my commentary.

[00:06:05] [SPEAKER_00]: Take it Erica, a guest writer on No Sidebar.

[00:06:07] [SPEAKER_00]: I also read from her website occasionally, that's ericallane.co.

[00:06:12] [SPEAKER_00]: When I read number 4, I couldn't help but think of this podcast.

[00:06:16] [SPEAKER_00]: Number 4 was Quiet Ambition, and she gave that example of reading a motivational quote somewhere like Pinterest

[00:06:23] [SPEAKER_00]: and then feeling guilty for not feeling that way.

[00:06:27] [SPEAKER_00]: And that made me think of this podcast because that's a lot of what this podcast is, motivational or inspirational content.

[00:06:34] [SPEAKER_00]: And the last thing I hope it would do is make you feel guilty about your life.

[00:06:39] [SPEAKER_00]: I like to say that there's no judgment here where in different phases of life and one's not better than another,

[00:06:47] [SPEAKER_00]: but there's always room for what we personally would consider improvement.

[00:06:52] [SPEAKER_00]: And that improvement can take weeks, months or years.

[00:06:57] [SPEAKER_00]: Feeling guilty about it in the meantime just isn't worth it.

[00:07:00] [SPEAKER_00]: So I hope that this podcast doesn't bring about those feelings for you.

[00:07:04] [SPEAKER_00]: Instead, I hope it brings a little boost, a bit of inspiration to try something new, get something done,

[00:07:12] [SPEAKER_00]: or give yourself something you need.

[00:07:15] [SPEAKER_00]: That's what these articles do for me so hopefully for you too.

[00:07:18] [SPEAKER_00]: But I'll leave it there for today.

[00:07:20] [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you so much for sticking around until the end and coming back to listen every day

[00:07:24] [SPEAKER_00]: and getting that extra boost of motivation with me.

[00:07:27] [SPEAKER_00]: Wishing you a great start to your weekend and I'll see you tomorrow and over the weekend where you're optimal life.

[00:07:33] [SPEAKER_00]: Awaits!