3299: Why I Don't Save Journals or Other Sentimental Items by Courtney Carver on Mindfulness

[00:00:00] [SPEAKER_00]: It's a minimalist Monday edition of Optimal Living Daily.

[00:00:03] [SPEAKER_00]: Why I Dont Save Journals or Other Sentimental Items by Courtney Carver of Be More The Last

[00:00:08] [SPEAKER_00]: Dot Com and I'm Justin Malik.

[00:00:11] [SPEAKER_00]: Happy Monday and welcome back to Optimal Living Daily or the OLD podcast where I read

[00:00:15] [SPEAKER_00]: to you from some of the best blogs I can find and get permission from, mostly covering

[00:00:20] [SPEAKER_00]: personal development and minimalism on this show.

[00:00:22] [SPEAKER_00]: For now let's get right to it and start optimizing your life.

[00:00:30] [SPEAKER_00]: Why I Dont Save Journals or Other Sentimental Items by Courtney Carver of BeMoreTheLast.com

[00:00:37] [SPEAKER_00]: I recently wrote about burning or shredding my journals.

[00:00:41] [SPEAKER_00]: When I'm journaling, I'm not doing it to record history, come up with book ideas or anything

[00:00:46] [SPEAKER_00]: else that may be worth sharing someday.

[00:00:48] [SPEAKER_00]: It's rare that I even reread anything I journal.

[00:00:51] [SPEAKER_00]: Why it's important to journal your thoughts.

[00:00:54] [SPEAKER_00]: The reason I journal is to declutter my mind.

[00:00:58] [SPEAKER_00]: Instead of letting all of those ideas and fears and worries run around in my brain, I

[00:01:03] [SPEAKER_00]: leave them on the page.

[00:01:05] [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes they stay there and sometimes they don't but usually if I keep writing them

[00:01:09] [SPEAKER_00]: out, they dissipate.

[00:01:11] [SPEAKER_00]: I write about other thoughts and feelings too but even the good ones get heavy if

[00:01:15] [SPEAKER_00]: I hold onto them too tightly.

[00:01:18] [SPEAKER_00]: Writing them down helps me feel light.

[00:01:20] [SPEAKER_00]: And it makes room for more creative ideas, more clarity when making decisions and a better

[00:01:26] [SPEAKER_00]: understanding of how thoughts and feelings impact my physical and mental health.

[00:01:31] [SPEAKER_00]: Why I Dont Save Journals and Other Sentimental Items.

[00:01:34] [SPEAKER_00]: There are a few reasons I don't save my journals.

[00:01:37] [SPEAKER_00]: Number one, living amongst those words I wrote even though they are off my mind

[00:01:42] [SPEAKER_00]: can feel heavy.

[00:01:43] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't think about them all the time but knowing a year's worth of daily writing

[00:01:47] [SPEAKER_00]: is hanging out in a notebook close by isn't comforting for me.

[00:01:51] [SPEAKER_00]: All those things happened, I experienced them and felt them.

[00:01:55] [SPEAKER_00]: Then I thought about them, wrote about them and dissected them.

[00:01:59] [SPEAKER_00]: And now it's time to let them go.

[00:02:02] [SPEAKER_00]: Number two, the things I wrote in journals are not for anyone else.

[00:02:06] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't worry about anyone reading my journals while I'm alive and while I expect

[00:02:09] [SPEAKER_00]: to be alive for a long time.

[00:02:12] [SPEAKER_00]: I understand that my mortality isn't in my control.

[00:02:14] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't want my journals left behind when I'm gone.

[00:02:17] [SPEAKER_00]: That's how I feel about most of my stuff.

[00:02:19] [SPEAKER_00]: It's hard enough to lose someone you love but to then have to go through their stuff

[00:02:22] [SPEAKER_00]: and make decisions you don't know how to make feels impossible.

[00:02:27] [SPEAKER_00]: Removing some of those decisions seems like a loving thing to do.

[00:02:31] [SPEAKER_00]: But how do you preserve the meaning of life?

[00:02:34] [SPEAKER_00]: Here's an email exchange publishing with permission with someone who reached out

[00:02:38] [SPEAKER_00]: about shredding my journals in the meaning of life.

[00:02:41] [SPEAKER_00]: Quote,

[00:02:42] [SPEAKER_00]: Hi Courtney.

[00:02:43] [SPEAKER_00]: In one of your recent posts, he wrote,

[00:02:45] [SPEAKER_00]: One of the reasons I shred or burn my journals is to symbolically let go of my stories

[00:02:49] [SPEAKER_00]: of stress, pain and drama.

[00:02:51] [SPEAKER_00]: This allows me to focus on what's happening right now instead of what I thought was happening in the past.

[00:02:56] [SPEAKER_00]: I love the idea of shredding my journals but I have this tight hold on all of them

[00:03:00] [SPEAKER_00]: as I do on all of my memorabilia items that I choose to keep.

[00:03:04] [SPEAKER_00]: I feel like if they disappear then I will disappear.

[00:03:06] [SPEAKER_00]: Like they are proof of my life and thoughts and goals, etc.

[00:03:11] [SPEAKER_00]: That is where all the meaning is.

[00:03:13] [SPEAKER_00]: I can't seem to let go of them because then I'll mean I don't exist and I lose everything.

[00:03:18] [SPEAKER_00]: Any suggestions or words to share to focus on the present and look to the future

[00:03:22] [SPEAKER_00]: and not be afraid to let go of these reflections of the past?

[00:03:26] [SPEAKER_00]: It's really, really, really hard to let go.

[00:03:29] [SPEAKER_00]: How do I separate the meaning of life from these things that are just reflections I've collected along the way?

[00:03:35] [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you.

[00:03:35] [SPEAKER_00]: Christina.

[00:03:37] [SPEAKER_00]: End quote.

[00:03:38] [SPEAKER_00]: I knew how Christina was feeling.

[00:03:40] [SPEAKER_00]: I used to feel the same way.

[00:03:41] [SPEAKER_00]: I started saving my memories as proof of life in elementary school.

[00:03:45] [SPEAKER_00]: I kept saving them through school and adulthood.

[00:03:47] [SPEAKER_00]: I moved them from apartment to apartment and home to home.

[00:03:52] [SPEAKER_00]: Even when I started to declutter and live more simply,

[00:03:54] [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't consider letting go of my sentimental items.

[00:03:57] [SPEAKER_00]: And then when there was nothing left to let go of,

[00:03:59] [SPEAKER_00]: I took another look at the sentimental stuff.

[00:04:02] [SPEAKER_00]: I wasn't displaying it or enjoying it.

[00:04:04] [SPEAKER_00]: I was just saving it, saving it as proof that I had lived.

[00:04:09] [SPEAKER_00]: Quote,

[00:04:10] [SPEAKER_00]: Hi Christina.

[00:04:11] [SPEAKER_00]: I can appreciate how you feel and I'm glad you shared this with me.

[00:04:15] [SPEAKER_00]: It took me a while to figure this out for myself, but once I did,

[00:04:18] [SPEAKER_00]: letting go got so much easier.

[00:04:20] [SPEAKER_00]: The meaning of my life is not in what I save or keep.

[00:04:24] [SPEAKER_00]: It's in how I live.

[00:04:26] [SPEAKER_00]: The meaning is the living.

[00:04:29] [SPEAKER_00]: So now I live instead of proving that I've lived by the stuff I saved.

[00:04:33] [SPEAKER_00]: Love Courtney, end quote.

[00:04:35] [SPEAKER_00]: In other words, instead of proving that you have lived,

[00:04:39] [SPEAKER_00]: live.

[00:04:40] [SPEAKER_00]: Instead of proving that you have loved, love.

[00:04:47] [SPEAKER_00]: You just listened to the post titled,

[00:04:49] [SPEAKER_00]: Why Don't Save Journals or Mother Sentimental Items

[00:04:52] [SPEAKER_00]: by Courtney Carver of Be More's Last.com.

[00:04:55] [SPEAKER_00]: And I'll be right back with my commentary.

[00:04:58] [SPEAKER_00]: If they get a Courtney, this is a tough one.

[00:05:00] [SPEAKER_00]: I'd be interested to know if you,

[00:05:02] [SPEAKER_00]: well first of all even wrote in a journal

[00:05:04] [SPEAKER_00]: and then second if you held on to it.

[00:05:06] [SPEAKER_00]: I can kind of see the argument that,

[00:05:08] [SPEAKER_00]: you know, future generations could see a peek into your life

[00:05:11] [SPEAKER_00]: or something like that.

[00:05:12] [SPEAKER_00]: But honestly, the stuff that goes into a journal,

[00:05:15] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't think most people would want out there forever.

[00:05:18] [SPEAKER_00]: A blog on the other hand or podcast,

[00:05:20] [SPEAKER_00]: that to me makes sense because like Courtney mentioned,

[00:05:22] [SPEAKER_00]: is made for other people to enjoy and benefit from,

[00:05:25] [SPEAKER_00]: unlike a journal.

[00:05:27] [SPEAKER_00]: The only exception I can think of is

[00:05:28] [SPEAKER_00]: a title shared recently actually in Wednesday's episode,

[00:05:32] [SPEAKER_00]: a book called Meditations by Marcus Aurelius.

[00:05:34] [SPEAKER_00]: It was supposedly written as a journal and for him only,

[00:05:38] [SPEAKER_00]: but it turned into a super wise book of lessons

[00:05:40] [SPEAKER_00]: from one of the most powerful people in the world at the time.

[00:05:43] [SPEAKER_00]: But really that's like one in a billion journals

[00:05:46] [SPEAKER_00]: that ends up being that mind blowing.

[00:05:48] [SPEAKER_00]: No offense, but yours and my personal journals

[00:05:50] [SPEAKER_00]: probably aren't going to be studied for thousands of years.

[00:05:52] [SPEAKER_00]: Again, if you want that,

[00:05:54] [SPEAKER_00]: you could publish something online instead.

[00:05:57] [SPEAKER_00]: And then the other piece of going back and looking at it,

[00:06:00] [SPEAKER_00]: me too very rarely have I done that with journals

[00:06:02] [SPEAKER_00]: that I started over 20 years ago.

[00:06:04] [SPEAKER_00]: And when I do, there's just a lot of fluff and weird stuff

[00:06:07] [SPEAKER_00]: that I really don't want to go through all over again.

[00:06:10] [SPEAKER_00]: I have more of a, ooh, reaction to it

[00:06:12] [SPEAKER_00]: than a more nostalgic one.

[00:06:15] [SPEAKER_00]: There's an occasional gem,

[00:06:16] [SPEAKER_00]: but that for me doesn't make up for the heaviness

[00:06:18] [SPEAKER_00]: that she talks about.

[00:06:20] [SPEAKER_00]: You can actually feel mentally and emotionally exhausting

[00:06:22] [SPEAKER_00]: to go through old journals.

[00:06:23] [SPEAKER_00]: And again, for me not worth the very rare gem

[00:06:26] [SPEAKER_00]: that happens to pop up.

[00:06:28] [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay to leave it in the past.

[00:06:30] [SPEAKER_00]: But no judgment if you're holding onto your journals.

[00:06:32] [SPEAKER_00]: I'd be happy to hear your perspective,

[00:06:34] [SPEAKER_00]: so feel free to share.

[00:06:35] [SPEAKER_00]: Have a great rest of your day and start to your week

[00:06:37] [SPEAKER_00]: and I'll be back tomorrow reading to you

[00:06:39] [SPEAKER_00]: where optimal life awaits.