3302: Most Important Advice About Lifestyle Design by Stephen Warley of Life Skills That Matter on Self-Acceptance

[00:00:00] [SPEAKER_00]: Before we start, please check out our new podcast, Good Sleep.

[00:00:03] [SPEAKER_00]: Have you ever noticed how a calm mind can really set the stage for a good night's sleep?

[00:00:08] [SPEAKER_00]: That's the idea behind our new podcast, Good Sleep.

[00:00:11] [SPEAKER_00]: Greg, our host from Optimal Relationships Daily is here to help ease you into a peaceful

[00:00:15] [SPEAKER_00]: night's rest with some positive affirmations.

[00:00:18] [SPEAKER_00]: And these affirmations aren't just comforting, they can help ease anxiety and nurture

[00:00:22] [SPEAKER_00]: positive thoughts, setting you up for true good sleep.

[00:00:26] [SPEAKER_00]: So, press play on Good Sleep tonight because a good tomorrow starts with a good night's sleep.

[00:00:31] [SPEAKER_00]: Just search for Good Sleep in your podcast app and be sure to pick the one from Optimal Living Daily.

[00:00:38] [SPEAKER_00]: This is Optimal Living Daily. Most important advice

[00:00:42] [SPEAKER_00]: about lifestyle design by Stephen Warley of LifeSkillsThatMatter.com

[00:00:47] [SPEAKER_00]: and I'm Justin Malik, your very own personal narrator.

[00:00:50] [SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to Optimal Living Daily, OLD for short, where I read to you with permission

[00:00:55] [SPEAKER_00]: from the authors covering productivity, minimalism, personal development, all that good stuff.

[00:01:01] [SPEAKER_00]: So with that, let's get right to today's post and continue optimizing your life.

[00:01:10] [SPEAKER_00]: Most important advice about lifestyle design by Stephen Warley of LifeSkillsThatMatter.com

[00:01:17] [SPEAKER_00]: When you want to make a big change in your life, you'll have no shortage of advice about how

[00:01:22] [SPEAKER_00]: to go about doing it. Heck, even I'm going to share lots of advice with you.

[00:01:27] [SPEAKER_00]: I do have one very important piece of advice in particular I want to share with you now.

[00:01:33] [SPEAKER_00]: And actually, it just might be the most important thing I ever tell you.

[00:01:38] [SPEAKER_00]: Do what works for you. My goal for you on this journey of lifestyle design

[00:01:44] [SPEAKER_00]: is to live up to your own ideals, not the ideals of others.

[00:01:49] [SPEAKER_00]: I want you to put your own take on the advice you receive from others.

[00:01:52] [SPEAKER_00]: I want you to work in alignment with who you really are. That's what I believe lifestyle

[00:01:57] [SPEAKER_00]: design is all about. What works for one person may not work for another, man vice versa.

[00:02:04] [SPEAKER_00]: We're all unique individuals with our own eclectic mix of values, motivations, needs,

[00:02:10] [SPEAKER_00]: emotions, fears, strengths, talents, personality traits, habits, and purpose.

[00:02:18] [SPEAKER_00]: Be inspired by success. Don't copy it.

[00:02:23] [SPEAKER_00]: When you're trying to figure out the next step in your life, it's perfectly natural to seek

[00:02:27] [SPEAKER_00]: out models of success to emulate. It's as good as any place to start when you're still struggling

[00:02:33] [SPEAKER_00]: to find your purpose. You might think of a famous person you admire and how they achieved

[00:02:39] [SPEAKER_00]: their success. It provides a tangible idea of the results, values, and approaches you want

[00:02:45] [SPEAKER_00]: for yourself, but struggle to put into words. On the surface, this can be a valuable exercise,

[00:02:51] [SPEAKER_00]: but has the potential to become a dangerous trap by creating unrealistic expectations in two key

[00:02:58] [SPEAKER_00]: ways. First, people often want the results of someone else's success, but rarely dig deeper

[00:03:06] [SPEAKER_00]: to learn how that success was created. We end up believing their success is due to superhuman

[00:03:12] [SPEAKER_00]: abilities or genius inaccessible to us, so we feel we can never achieve what they have achieved,

[00:03:19] [SPEAKER_00]: so we don't even try. And second, those who do take the time to research the how behind the

[00:03:25] [SPEAKER_00]: success often try to copy the exact formula. People often believe the best way to achieve

[00:03:31] [SPEAKER_00]: success is to mimic the same process, behaviors, and habits of the successful person they admire.

[00:03:38] [SPEAKER_00]: And playing copycat generally results in frustration because we're trying to be someone

[00:03:43] [SPEAKER_00]: we are not. We're trying to live up to someone else's standards, ideals, and abilities instead

[00:03:49] [SPEAKER_00]: of our own. We're denying ourselves the opportunity to find our own unique formula for success.

[00:03:56] [SPEAKER_00]: Experiment with the habits of successful people you admire. See what works for you and

[00:04:01] [SPEAKER_00]: what doesn't. Make them your own. You'll discover habits that make you uniquely productive.

[00:04:09] [SPEAKER_00]: Create a practice of self-awareness and a habit of experimentation

[00:04:13] [SPEAKER_00]: to discover your own path to success. Be inspired by success, but don't try to emulate it.

[00:04:20] [SPEAKER_00]: Copying someone else's path to success might seem easier, but it ends up being the harder way

[00:04:25] [SPEAKER_00]: because you aren't working in alignment with who you really are. Seek your own validation.

[00:04:32] [SPEAKER_00]: If something doesn't work for everyone else, but it's working for you,

[00:04:36] [SPEAKER_00]: we'll keep doing it. Be guided by the results of your actions. Don't just follow the crowd.

[00:04:42] [SPEAKER_00]: We often seek validation from others because we're subconsciously seeking social acceptance.

[00:04:48] [SPEAKER_00]: We can certainly learn from others, but we need to put that knowledge in the context

[00:04:52] [SPEAKER_00]: of our needs and abilities. You might get made fun of for your unconventional approach,

[00:04:58] [SPEAKER_00]: but that could also be the secret formula for your version of success.

[00:05:02] [SPEAKER_00]: Have more trust in your gut. You are a data point of one. There are endless stories, studies,

[00:05:11] [SPEAKER_00]: and research telling us the best way to live our lives. They can be useful tools for making

[00:05:16] [SPEAKER_00]: decisions about our health, our finances, our relationships, etc. They have the potential

[00:05:22] [SPEAKER_00]: to save us time and to help us make more informed decisions. They provide valuable insights, context,

[00:05:29] [SPEAKER_00]: and direction. But their results may not always apply to your unique circumstance.

[00:05:35] [SPEAKER_00]: Their data generally highlights the average results of the subject being studied.

[00:05:41] [SPEAKER_00]: Your most important source of data is the results of your self-experimentation.

[00:05:46] [SPEAKER_00]: Don't take someone else's word for anything. Try it and know it for yourself.

[00:05:51] [SPEAKER_00]: Research that is widely accepted generally requires large sample sizes to yield more accurate results.

[00:05:58] [SPEAKER_00]: In the eyes of researchers, your single perspective is meaningless. You are a data point of one.

[00:06:05] [SPEAKER_00]: From your perspective, your data point of one is the research that will have the most

[00:06:09] [SPEAKER_00]: relevant impact on your life. Question everything. Don't make assumptions.

[00:06:16] [SPEAKER_00]: Question everything. Never stop asking why or how. When someone gives you a piece of advice,

[00:06:23] [SPEAKER_00]: don't just take their word for it. Test their advice through self-experimentation.

[00:06:28] [SPEAKER_00]: But don't just take it at face value. Question everything in the context of finding out

[00:06:33] [SPEAKER_00]: what truly works for you and not just what works for other people.

[00:06:39] [SPEAKER_00]: One common trait of all success. I've read hundreds of historical biographies

[00:06:45] [SPEAKER_00]: and interviewed hundreds of entrepreneurs in my life. I've learned lots of different ways

[00:06:50] [SPEAKER_00]: people have become successful. However, there is just one common trait that is core to the

[00:06:56] [SPEAKER_00]: success of all the lives I have researched. They chose to be themselves and no one else.

[00:07:03] [SPEAKER_00]: They found the courage to accept themselves. They made peace with themselves.

[00:07:08] [SPEAKER_00]: They made the best of their natural talents and available opportunities.

[00:07:12] [SPEAKER_00]: They focused on what they had instead of what they didn't have.

[00:07:15] [SPEAKER_00]: It made them grow and expand their lives. As you may know, one of the toughest

[00:07:20] [SPEAKER_00]: challenges in life is accepting ourselves. It's even harder in our modern world as

[00:07:26] [SPEAKER_00]: marketing messages relentlessly tell us we aren't good enough or could be better.

[00:07:31] [SPEAKER_00]: We spend most of our thoughts wishing we could change any number of aspects about ourselves.

[00:07:36] [SPEAKER_00]: The truth is, we already have lots of great stuff to build upon within ourselves.

[00:07:42] [SPEAKER_00]: We just need to discover it, commit to it, and develop it. I don't think we really admire

[00:07:48] [SPEAKER_00]: people who are successful for their money, fame, and special accomplishments.

[00:07:53] [SPEAKER_00]: We admire them because they're comfortable in their own skin. We want that too.

[00:07:59] [SPEAKER_00]: Lasting success comes from being yourself. There's never been and there will never be

[00:08:05] [SPEAKER_00]: another person like you on this earth. You have a monopoly over your motivations,

[00:08:11] [SPEAKER_00]: values, experiences, and abilities that make you a unique individual. You are a scarce

[00:08:18] [SPEAKER_00]: and valuable resource with unique potential. We each have the opportunity to author our own

[00:08:24] [SPEAKER_00]: version of success, only you are the expert of you. It's possible, be yourself. Don't copy

[00:08:32] [SPEAKER_00]: someone else's story, share your own. It's never been told before. Do what works for you.

[00:08:44] [SPEAKER_00]: You just listened to the post titled, Most Important Advice About Lifestyle Design

[00:08:48] [SPEAKER_00]: by Steven Worley of lifeskills.matter.com and I'll be right back with my commentary.

[00:08:54] [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you to Steven. We hear so much advice these days about how to improve our lives,

[00:09:00] [SPEAKER_00]: how to be successful, how to be happy. It's everywhere, right? Well, especially on this

[00:09:05] [SPEAKER_00]: podcast. That's what this podcast is all about after all. I've read thousands of articles to

[00:09:11] [SPEAKER_00]: you and if you've been listening for, I don't know, even a month probably, you'll notice

[00:09:16] [SPEAKER_00]: that sometimes these articles contradict each other. One day an article might say,

[00:09:22] [SPEAKER_00]: wake up at 5am to be successful and the next day another one's telling us that night owls are

[00:09:28] [SPEAKER_00]: more creative. And one is not necessarily better or more correct than the other. And on top of that,

[00:09:35] [SPEAKER_00]: maybe in one season of life we're one way and in another season we've changed. So I agree,

[00:09:42] [SPEAKER_00]: it's important to see what works best for you and for now. What works for me might not work

[00:09:47] [SPEAKER_00]: for you and that's totally fine. I think instead of trying to fit ourselves into someone else's

[00:09:52] [SPEAKER_00]: mold of success, we can create our own and likely bring about a deeper fulfillment or happiness that

[00:09:58] [SPEAKER_00]: way. So maybe today we can take a moment to think about that. Are we doing things because

[00:10:03] [SPEAKER_00]: someone else said we should or are we doing them because they genuinely work for us? It's

[00:10:09] [SPEAKER_00]: worth considering I think. So thank you again to Steven for the reminder and thank you

[00:10:14] [SPEAKER_00]: for being here. I hope you're having a great morning, afternoon or evening whenever you're

[00:10:19] [SPEAKER_00]: listening to this and I'll see you tomorrow where your optimal life awaits.