3314: How Can We Have Faith When Things Don't Look Good In The Moment by Allison Carmen on Overcoming Anxiety

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[00:00:41] [SPEAKER_00]: How can we have faith when things don't look good in the moment?

[00:00:44] [SPEAKER_00]: By Allison Carmen of AllisonCarmen.com

[00:00:47] [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm Justin Malik, your personal narrator, reading to you every single day of the year,

[00:00:52] [SPEAKER_00]: with permission from the authors.

[00:00:54] [SPEAKER_00]: It's kind of like an audiobook, but kind of not.

[00:00:57] [SPEAKER_00]: Hopefully you find it better than an audiobook, that would be a huge compliment.

[00:01:00] [SPEAKER_00]: Anyway, let's get right to it as we optimize your life.

[00:01:07] [SPEAKER_00]: How can we have faith when things don't look good in the moment?

[00:01:11] [SPEAKER_00]: By Allison Carmen of AllisonCarmen.com

[00:01:15] [SPEAKER_00]: A few months ago I spoke to an old friend named Ben who has been struggling with his business.

[00:01:21] [SPEAKER_00]: He owns a computer consulting firm and has lost many of his big clients over the last year

[00:01:25] [SPEAKER_00]: to bigger consulting firms.

[00:01:27] [SPEAKER_00]: He must have told me at least 10 times how the computer consulting business has changed.

[00:01:32] [SPEAKER_00]: He then told me he is a dinosaur in his industry

[00:01:35] [SPEAKER_00]: and is just waiting for the month that he can't pay his rent.

[00:01:39] [SPEAKER_00]: No matter what I asked or suggested to him about pursuing new opportunities or technologies,

[00:01:44] [SPEAKER_00]: there was a reason he gave me that it would not work out.

[00:01:48] [SPEAKER_00]: After speaking for 30 minutes, Ben said to me,

[00:01:50] [SPEAKER_00]: I wish I could have more faith that things will work out, but I don't.

[00:01:55] [SPEAKER_00]: Ben has definitely encountered some bumps in the road the past year

[00:01:59] [SPEAKER_00]: and is seeing his lack of success today as foretelling the worst for his future.

[00:02:03] [SPEAKER_00]: All of his past experience has created a belief that things won't change

[00:02:07] [SPEAKER_00]: and will likely keep getting worse.

[00:02:09] [SPEAKER_00]: How can Ben find hope and opportunity when he has no faith

[00:02:13] [SPEAKER_00]: and his beliefs are filled with doom and gloom?

[00:02:16] [SPEAKER_00]: Often our beliefs offer us a path to certainty about our future.

[00:02:20] [SPEAKER_00]: Our beliefs make assumptions about what tomorrow will look like,

[00:02:23] [SPEAKER_00]: how it will feel, and what it will mean for our lives.

[00:02:27] [SPEAKER_00]: Faith, on the other hand, doesn't create our reality according to our fears and desires.

[00:02:32] [SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't decide how we are going to see a particular situation,

[00:02:35] [SPEAKER_00]: but instead gives us the ability to move forward in our lives without judging the future

[00:02:40] [SPEAKER_00]: and offers us the opportunity to embrace the unknown.

[00:02:44] [SPEAKER_00]: Often people tell us to just have faith that a situation will work out,

[00:02:47] [SPEAKER_00]: but we can't find it in that moment because our past experiences are haunting us

[00:02:52] [SPEAKER_00]: and the future is scaring us.

[00:02:55] [SPEAKER_00]: We cling to our fear and worries of what will be

[00:02:58] [SPEAKER_00]: instead of letting go and embracing uncertainty.

[00:03:01] [SPEAKER_00]: As much as many of us would like to have faith, it is a road that can be difficult to travel.

[00:03:06] [SPEAKER_00]: But the good news is that when we lack faith, the idea of maybe can really help us.

[00:03:13] [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe is a connector between belief and faith.

[00:03:16] [SPEAKER_00]: Those who have faith may have no use for maybe,

[00:03:20] [SPEAKER_00]: but for those of us who get stuck when circumstances seem dire

[00:03:23] [SPEAKER_00]: or we don't know what to expect or do next,

[00:03:26] [SPEAKER_00]: maybe provides us comfort.

[00:03:28] [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe enables us to question our beliefs.

[00:03:31] [SPEAKER_00]: For example, maybe our beliefs are not true.

[00:03:34] [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe something else will happen.

[00:03:36] [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe this is good.

[00:03:37] [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe things can get better.

[00:03:39] [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe everything is okay.

[00:03:40] [SPEAKER_00]: It opens our hearts to allow us to experience space and light in the midst of a crisis.

[00:03:46] [SPEAKER_00]: In a way, maybe creates a kind of cognitive faith

[00:03:50] [SPEAKER_00]: that can help us get through an unexpected situation.

[00:03:52] [SPEAKER_00]: And if we work to continuously experience this open space of maybe,

[00:03:57] [SPEAKER_00]: we will start to embrace the unknown as the unfolding of all possibilities.

[00:04:02] [SPEAKER_00]: With this in mind, Ben and I have been playing around with the idea of maybe

[00:04:06] [SPEAKER_00]: to try to alleviate some of his stress and negativity.

[00:04:09] [SPEAKER_00]: Ben has been trying to admit that maybe things will work out.

[00:04:13] [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe he will get some new business.

[00:04:15] [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe he can branch out into new technologies.

[00:04:18] [SPEAKER_00]: Or maybe everything is okay right now and he will figure the rest out in time.

[00:04:23] [SPEAKER_00]: The idea of maybe is so effective for Ben

[00:04:26] [SPEAKER_00]: because it continuously offers him more than that one possibility

[00:04:30] [SPEAKER_00]: that was keeping him up at night

[00:04:32] [SPEAKER_00]: and filling his mind with the fear that his business would fail.

[00:04:35] [SPEAKER_00]: As Ben realized through maybe that there are infinite possibilities ahead

[00:04:39] [SPEAKER_00]: even though he can't see them yet,

[00:04:41] [SPEAKER_00]: he was able to relax at times and stay open to whatever life has to offer in his future.

[00:04:47] [SPEAKER_00]: I spoke to Ben yesterday

[00:04:48] [SPEAKER_00]: and he has landed a few new doctor's offices as small clients over the past few months.

[00:04:54] [SPEAKER_00]: He was so busy looking at getting large corporate clients,

[00:04:57] [SPEAKER_00]: he never considered that many smaller professional offices

[00:05:00] [SPEAKER_00]: have many technology needs that he could service.

[00:05:03] [SPEAKER_00]: It is more work for him because he has more small clients instead of a few big ones,

[00:05:08] [SPEAKER_00]: but he is content that money is coming in

[00:05:11] [SPEAKER_00]: and there is hope on the horizon.

[00:05:13] [SPEAKER_00]: Who knows?

[00:05:14] [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe this experience will lead Ben to have some faith after all.

[00:05:18] [SPEAKER_00]: Just maybe.

[00:05:23] [SPEAKER_00]: You just listened to the post titled

[00:05:25] [SPEAKER_00]: How can we have faith when things don't look good in the moment?

[00:05:29] [SPEAKER_00]: by Alison Karmann of alisonkarmann.com

[00:05:31] [SPEAKER_00]: and I'll be right back with my commentary.

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[00:06:48] [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you to Allison.

[00:06:50] [SPEAKER_00]: For me, it can be really tough to get out of that mindset

[00:06:53] [SPEAKER_00]: when I'm stuck in a rut or convinced that things are only going to get worse.

[00:06:57] [SPEAKER_00]: It can be hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

[00:07:00] [SPEAKER_00]: For me, it depends on the issue.

[00:07:03] [SPEAKER_00]: A lot of it is worries.

[00:07:05] [SPEAKER_00]: With entrepreneurship, for some reason I tend to have a

[00:07:08] [SPEAKER_00]: eh, it'll all work out, or I'll figure it out mindset.

[00:07:12] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't worry too much, maybe because I think it's mostly in my control.

[00:07:16] [SPEAKER_00]: But with other things like health that sometimes aren't in our control,

[00:07:20] [SPEAKER_00]: that can be more difficult for me.

[00:07:23] [SPEAKER_00]: It kind of reminds me of this idea I learned in a book

[00:07:25] [SPEAKER_00]: and I think I shared it in an Optimal Living Daily newsletter a little while back.

[00:07:30] [SPEAKER_00]: When it comes to worries, as a little test, if you're in that rut,

[00:07:35] [SPEAKER_00]: write down what's really worrying you,

[00:07:37] [SPEAKER_00]: then put it away in a safe spot,

[00:07:40] [SPEAKER_00]: and then set a reminder to check back in like a week.

[00:07:44] [SPEAKER_00]: If it's still an issue, set a reminder for a little longer,

[00:07:47] [SPEAKER_00]: maybe a month or even six months,

[00:07:49] [SPEAKER_00]: and then look at it again.

[00:07:52] [SPEAKER_00]: Chances are really good that by then,

[00:07:54] [SPEAKER_00]: you'll wonder what you were so worried about in the first place.

[00:07:58] [SPEAKER_00]: It can be pretty eye-opening,

[00:07:59] [SPEAKER_00]: so maybe that can work for you.

[00:08:02] [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for being here and listening every day.

[00:08:04] [SPEAKER_00]: Have a great rest of your day,

[00:08:05] [SPEAKER_00]: and I'll see you back here tomorrow as usual,

[00:08:08] [SPEAKER_00]: where your optimal life awaits.