3322: Thoughts And Thinking - Understanding The Difference Can Change Your Life by Richard Paterson on Mental Wellbeing

[00:00:00] [SPEAKER_00]: This is Optimal Living Daily.

[00:00:03] [SPEAKER_00]: Thoughts and Thinking – Understanding The Difference Can Change Your Life by Richard

[00:00:08] [SPEAKER_00]: Paterson of Think Less and Grow Rich dot com.

[00:00:11] [SPEAKER_00]: Remember your narrator, Justin Malik, the guy that reads blogs or articles to you

[00:00:15] [SPEAKER_00]: every single day of the year including weekends and holidays?

[00:00:18] [SPEAKER_00]: And with that let's get right to our next post as we optimize your life.

[00:00:26] [SPEAKER_00]: Thoughts and Thinking – Understanding The Difference Can Change Your Life by Richard

[00:00:31] [SPEAKER_00]: Paterson of Think Less and Grow Rich dot com.

[00:00:36] [SPEAKER_00]: I want to share a simple insight about thoughts and thinking that when I first got it was

[00:00:41] [SPEAKER_00]: literally life changing.

[00:00:43] [SPEAKER_00]: Understanding this one little thing can eliminate a large chunk of your mind created suffering

[00:00:47] [SPEAKER_00]: in an instant without needing to fix or change the mind in many ways.

[00:00:53] [SPEAKER_00]: And like most profound things in life, it is ridiculously simple.

[00:00:57] [SPEAKER_00]: So what is it?

[00:00:58] [SPEAKER_00]: It's seeing that the thoughts that pop into your head are automatic and self-arising

[00:01:03] [SPEAKER_00]: unlike thinking which is something we can choose to indulge in or not.

[00:01:08] [SPEAKER_00]: Let me explain.

[00:01:10] [SPEAKER_00]: You're not responsible for your thoughts.

[00:01:13] [SPEAKER_00]: Do you have a tendency to beat yourself up about the negative thoughts that appear

[00:01:16] [SPEAKER_00]: in your head?

[00:01:17] [SPEAKER_00]: The judgment thoughts, the intolerant thoughts, the jealous thoughts for example?

[00:01:21] [SPEAKER_00]: Of course you do, it's human nature and we all do it.

[00:01:24] [SPEAKER_00]: Let's say you're jealous because your colleague got the promotion at work.

[00:01:28] [SPEAKER_00]: You do everything that's expected of you.

[00:01:30] [SPEAKER_00]: You smile, you shake his hand, you congratulate him but instead you're hurting.

[00:01:36] [SPEAKER_00]: Secretly you can't stand the fact that he got the job and you didn't.

[00:01:40] [SPEAKER_00]: You then start beating yourself up for having these thoughts.

[00:01:42] [SPEAKER_00]: What's wrong with you?

[00:01:44] [SPEAKER_00]: Why can't you just be happy for him like everyone else?

[00:01:46] [SPEAKER_00]: You're such a mean person.

[00:01:48] [SPEAKER_00]: But here's a question.

[00:01:49] [SPEAKER_00]: Did you choose to have these thoughts?

[00:01:52] [SPEAKER_00]: Did you decide to feel this way?

[00:01:55] [SPEAKER_00]: Given the choice, you'd probably rather be genuinely pleased for him.

[00:01:58] [SPEAKER_00]: But the truth is, you aren't.

[00:02:01] [SPEAKER_00]: Are you responsible for the content, the thoughts, feelings and emotions that spontaneously

[00:02:06] [SPEAKER_00]: appear in your head?

[00:02:07] [SPEAKER_00]: Is there anything you can do about the fact that jealousy arose within you?

[00:02:11] [SPEAKER_00]: Did you play any part in it?

[00:02:13] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not talking here about what you do with these thoughts, that's another story.

[00:02:18] [SPEAKER_00]: What if all your thoughts, feelings and emotions were impersonal, simply a product of your

[00:02:23] [SPEAKER_00]: conditioning and there wasn't anything wrong with any of it?

[00:02:27] [SPEAKER_00]: What if nothing that flows through your head says anything about who you are?

[00:02:31] [SPEAKER_00]: Thoughts are self-arising.

[00:02:34] [SPEAKER_00]: If you've trained in mindfulness, you may be familiar with the model of the undercurrent

[00:02:38] [SPEAKER_00]: and the observer.

[00:02:40] [SPEAKER_00]: The idea is that in each of us there's a never-ending stream of impressions,

[00:02:44] [SPEAKER_00]: thoughts, feelings, emotions, physical sensations, etc. that flow like a river through our awareness.

[00:02:52] [SPEAKER_00]: There's a mindfulness exercise in which you watch the mind to see what your next thought

[00:02:56] [SPEAKER_00]: is going to be, like a cat watching a mouse hole.

[00:03:00] [SPEAKER_00]: It becomes apparent that thoughts appear by themselves with no input from ourselves,

[00:03:04] [SPEAKER_00]: that you have no idea what's going to show up in your head next.

[00:03:07] [SPEAKER_00]: The key point about the undercurrent is that it is self-arising.

[00:03:11] [SPEAKER_00]: We have no control over it.

[00:03:13] [SPEAKER_00]: We can't change it, alter it or fix it.

[00:03:16] [SPEAKER_00]: It's an echo of the past, of all the impressions that have been stored in our minds through

[00:03:20] [SPEAKER_00]: our life experiences and our past lives according to other traditions.

[00:03:25] [SPEAKER_00]: The undercurrent is as it is.

[00:03:27] [SPEAKER_00]: The only real choice we have is to resist it and create suffering for ourselves

[00:03:31] [SPEAKER_00]: or allow it to be as it is and experience peace even when it's not comfortable.

[00:03:38] [SPEAKER_00]: You could say that thoughts are impersonal, that as we play no part in the process

[00:03:42] [SPEAKER_00]: of which thoughts arise, we're not responsible for them.

[00:03:46] [SPEAKER_00]: They don't say anything about who you are now.

[00:03:49] [SPEAKER_00]: The observer is the part of you that is aware of the undercurrent.

[00:03:53] [SPEAKER_00]: Normally we find ourselves floundering about midstream frantically trying to control

[00:03:57] [SPEAKER_00]: the river like a crazy thought traffic policeman.

[00:04:00] [SPEAKER_00]: Every thought, feeling and emotion is categorized as good or bad, right or wrong, desirable

[00:04:06] [SPEAKER_00]: or undesirable, and we drive ourselves crazy believing we are responsible for everything

[00:04:11] [SPEAKER_00]: that comes down the river.

[00:04:13] [SPEAKER_00]: Trying to fix the undercurrent is like trying to iron the ocean.

[00:04:17] [SPEAKER_00]: Let's go back to the jealous thoughts from earlier.

[00:04:19] [SPEAKER_00]: They just appeared out of nowhere.

[00:04:21] [SPEAKER_00]: Who knows where they came from?

[00:04:23] [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe when you were a toddler another kid took your toy away and you were jealous.

[00:04:27] [SPEAKER_00]: Rather than getting lost in the commentary about what a bad person you are, you

[00:04:31] [SPEAKER_00]: could just watch the thoughts without judgment and understand that they are just part of

[00:04:34] [SPEAKER_00]: the passing show.

[00:04:36] [SPEAKER_00]: This is freedom.

[00:04:38] [SPEAKER_00]: Thinking is a choice.

[00:04:40] [SPEAKER_00]: So I said at the beginning that we look at the difference between thoughts and thinking.

[00:04:45] [SPEAKER_00]: The main difference is that although thoughts are self-arising, thinking is a choice.

[00:04:51] [SPEAKER_00]: It is something you can choose to engage in or not.

[00:04:54] [SPEAKER_00]: What usually happens is that a self-arising thought triggers a story.

[00:04:59] [SPEAKER_00]: The thought or feeling, I feel sad, appears by itself in your head and triggers a commentary.

[00:05:05] [SPEAKER_00]: This is bad.

[00:05:06] [SPEAKER_00]: I shouldn't be feeling this way.

[00:05:07] [SPEAKER_00]: What's wrong with me?

[00:05:08] [SPEAKER_00]: Why can't I be happy like Bob?

[00:05:10] [SPEAKER_00]: The Buddhists have a name for this.

[00:05:12] [SPEAKER_00]: They call it Second Arrow.

[00:05:14] [SPEAKER_00]: The self-arising sad thought is the first arrow and the commentary about it is the

[00:05:20] [SPEAKER_00]: second arrow.

[00:05:21] [SPEAKER_00]: I was going to say that 90% of our suffering comes from the second arrow, but I actually

[00:05:25] [SPEAKER_00]: think it's 100%.

[00:05:27] [SPEAKER_00]: Thoughts are neutral events until the mind jumps in and assigns them a good or

[00:05:32] [SPEAKER_00]: bad sticker.

[00:05:33] [SPEAKER_00]: Sadness isn't intrinsically bad or wrong.

[00:05:36] [SPEAKER_00]: Thinking makes it so.

[00:05:39] [SPEAKER_00]: Without judgment, what's the problem?

[00:05:40] [SPEAKER_00]: It might not feel pleasant, but that doesn't make it bad or wrong.

[00:05:44] [SPEAKER_00]: Unlike thoughts arising, which you can't do anything about, you can choose to stop

[00:05:49] [SPEAKER_00]: thinking in any moment.

[00:05:52] [SPEAKER_00]: The first step is awareness.

[00:05:54] [SPEAKER_00]: To be able to change these patterns we first need to be aware of them.

[00:05:58] [SPEAKER_00]: For most people, the transition from thoughts appearing to thinking about them is so deep-rooted,

[00:06:03] [SPEAKER_00]: automatic and seamless that it takes some effort and perseverance to break the pattern.

[00:06:09] [SPEAKER_00]: But it's definitely something you can learn to do with practice.

[00:06:12] [SPEAKER_00]: I'd highly recommend it of course, and I'd be very happy to help you achieve it.

[00:06:17] [SPEAKER_00]: In conclusion, understanding the difference between thoughts and thinking is a game-changer

[00:06:22] [SPEAKER_00]: if you wish to live in harmony with your mind.

[00:06:25] [SPEAKER_00]: Next time a jealous, impatient or fearful thought pops into your head out of nowhere,

[00:06:30] [SPEAKER_00]: recognize that there's nothing wrong with it being there.

[00:06:33] [SPEAKER_00]: This will allow you to experience instant peace.

[00:06:37] [SPEAKER_00]: It's just what's appearing in this particular twist of the river, a ghost from the past.

[00:06:46] [SPEAKER_00]: You just listened to the post titled, Thoughts and Thinking.

[00:06:50] [SPEAKER_00]: Understanding the difference can change your life by Richard Patterson of Thinklessandgrowrich.com

[00:06:56] [SPEAKER_00]: and I'll be right back with my commentary.

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[00:08:14] [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you to Richard, he's an ex-monk actually.

[00:08:17] [SPEAKER_00]: A meditation teacher and transformational coach that helps people find more peace,

[00:08:21] [SPEAKER_00]: joy and inner freedom.

[00:08:23] [SPEAKER_00]: He offers one-on-one coaching and has a lot to see on his site.

[00:08:26] [SPEAKER_00]: Come by thinklessandgrowrich.com.

[00:08:30] [SPEAKER_00]: And having formal meditation practice with many different teachers myself,

[00:08:34] [SPEAKER_00]: I can say this is a really great point of thinking versus thoughts

[00:08:37] [SPEAKER_00]: and that the first step is definitely awareness.

[00:08:41] [SPEAKER_00]: I've talked about this on the show before,

[00:08:42] [SPEAKER_00]: but I don't think I could have said it better than Richard so thank you again to him.

[00:08:47] [SPEAKER_00]: I'll leave it there for today.

[00:08:48] [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for listening and being here every day.

[00:08:50] [SPEAKER_00]: I couldn't do it without you.

[00:08:52] [SPEAKER_00]: And thank you if you've ever shared this show with someone.

[00:08:54] [SPEAKER_00]: It's a huge help to keep all of this going.

[00:08:58] [SPEAKER_00]: Have a great rest of your day and weekend.

[00:09:00] [SPEAKER_00]: And I'll see you back here tomorrow for a minimalist Monday post

[00:09:04] [SPEAKER_00]: and where your optimal life awaits.