3326: The Building Mindset by Tynan on New Habit Formation & Lifestyle Design

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[00:00:38] [SPEAKER_00]: This is Optimal Living Daily, The Building Mindset by Tynan of tynan.com.

[00:00:45] [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm Justin Malik, your very own personal narrator.

[00:00:48] [SPEAKER_00]: I read to you every day covering productivity, minimalism, personal development, all that fun stuff.

[00:00:54] [SPEAKER_00]: So with that, let's get right to another article and continue optimizing your life.

[00:01:02] [SPEAKER_00]: The Building Mindset by Tynan of tynan.com.

[00:01:07] [SPEAKER_00]: I remember reading about the famous marshmallow study,

[00:01:10] [SPEAKER_00]: the one where they see if kids can delay gratification or not.

[00:01:15] [SPEAKER_00]: Reading about it really haunted me because a psychologist came to my school in third grade

[00:01:20] [SPEAKER_00]: and did a similar experiment on us students.

[00:01:23] [SPEAKER_00]: We could have an unspecified big prize later, or a small prize immediately.

[00:01:30] [SPEAKER_00]: I walked away with silly putty.

[00:01:33] [SPEAKER_00]: As you probably know, the people who delay gratification are more successful, happier, and so on.

[00:01:40] [SPEAKER_00]: When I found this out, I became determined to be a gratification delayer.

[00:01:44] [SPEAKER_00]: I love thinking about these dichotomies.

[00:01:47] [SPEAKER_00]: You're either X or Y, and if you're Y, well maybe you'd better start becoming an X.

[00:01:53] [SPEAKER_00]: A related one that I think is really practical is the split between builders and allocators.

[00:01:59] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not sure those are the exact best words, but I've been bad at coming up with catchy terms for these things.

[00:02:05] [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe the clearest example is in spending money.

[00:02:08] [SPEAKER_00]: An allocator looks at what he has, looks at what he needs, and tries to reconcile the two.

[00:02:14] [SPEAKER_00]: Monthly income is $5,000, so he allocates the money to his expenses.

[00:02:20] [SPEAKER_00]: If his income goes up, he'll allocate that money, and if it goes down, he'll cut back on the expenses.

[00:02:27] [SPEAKER_00]: A builder, on the other hand, thinks of his money not as something to spend, but as a tool.

[00:02:33] [SPEAKER_00]: The more money he has, the more powerful that tool is.

[00:02:37] [SPEAKER_00]: So he invests his money in things that have a likelihood of appreciating,

[00:02:41] [SPEAKER_00]: or at least things that will hold their value.

[00:02:45] [SPEAKER_00]: He invests more in experiences and learning, because he knows that those things are building him.

[00:02:52] [SPEAKER_00]: This isn't just about spending money though, it's about a mode of decision making.

[00:02:57] [SPEAKER_00]: A builder cultivates his friend group and thinks about which friendships he wants to be stronger in 10 years.

[00:03:05] [SPEAKER_00]: And then he takes action to make that happen.

[00:03:07] [SPEAKER_00]: An allocator spends his time with whoever will make him feel good, or at least not bored, in the moment.

[00:03:14] [SPEAKER_00]: A builder takes the time to put into place systems to work more efficiently, thus building his effectiveness.

[00:03:22] [SPEAKER_00]: An allocator gets done what needs to get done.

[00:03:25] [SPEAKER_00]: A builder is more likely to make the hard decisions to eat healthy,

[00:03:29] [SPEAKER_00]: rather than do what it takes to satisfy hunger in the moment.

[00:03:33] [SPEAKER_00]: As you may have guessed, I'm obsessed with building.

[00:03:36] [SPEAKER_00]: I can't know for sure that it's the best mode for everyone,

[00:03:39] [SPEAKER_00]: but I'm sure it is for me and I suspect it is for everyone.

[00:03:43] [SPEAKER_00]: Almost everything I'm doing is building.

[00:03:46] [SPEAKER_00]: And part of building is trying to build a ratchet into your life.

[00:03:50] [SPEAKER_00]: You put in work and or money up front for something that will benefit you forever,

[00:03:55] [SPEAKER_00]: and upon which you can build.

[00:03:57] [SPEAKER_00]: For example, I bought a cheap place in Vegas,

[00:04:00] [SPEAKER_00]: and then spend a fair bit of money and effort making it into my ideal environment.

[00:04:04] [SPEAKER_00]: Now for the rest of my life, I have a near-zero cost of living situation in which I'm highly productive.

[00:04:11] [SPEAKER_00]: I try to build really good friendships with great people,

[00:04:14] [SPEAKER_00]: and then I also try to facilitate strong bonds between them if I can.

[00:04:19] [SPEAKER_00]: A strong friend group is much more durable and resilient than a single strong friendship.

[00:04:24] [SPEAKER_00]: And I develop habits that I believe will move important factors upwards only.

[00:04:29] [SPEAKER_00]: I try to make sure I'm always getting stronger and healthier by refining my diet and exercise practices.

[00:04:37] [SPEAKER_00]: The three currencies we have are time, money, and habits.

[00:04:41] [SPEAKER_00]: If you want to be a builder, you have to think consciously whenever you spend one of these currencies.

[00:04:45] [SPEAKER_00]: The key is to think about the duration and magnitude of the benefit,

[00:04:49] [SPEAKER_00]: and compare it to the alternatives.

[00:04:52] [SPEAKER_00]: A key indicator is sacrifice.

[00:04:55] [SPEAKER_00]: If you aren't sacrificing anything, you aren't a builder.

[00:04:58] [SPEAKER_00]: Some decisions are obvious, like whether you should allocate time towards work or watching TV.

[00:05:05] [SPEAKER_00]: Others are a little bit less clear, like whether you should sleep 8 hours or sleep 6 and work 2 extra.

[00:05:12] [SPEAKER_00]: And some are almost always overlooked,

[00:05:15] [SPEAKER_00]: like when I realize that I should exclusively spend time with people with whom I want to become better friends,

[00:05:20] [SPEAKER_00]: not just people I have fun around.

[00:05:23] [SPEAKER_00]: Money decisions are sometimes the hardest ones because society is so geared towards allocators.

[00:05:30] [SPEAKER_00]: I actually rather enjoyed it, but having lived in an RV for 8 years could be seen as a sacrifice.

[00:05:37] [SPEAKER_00]: It was certainly strange to people.

[00:05:39] [SPEAKER_00]: I was happy to spend money on an island that will foster bonds between friends and family for generations,

[00:05:45] [SPEAKER_00]: but I sacrificed by taking the bus to the airport instead of Lyft.

[00:05:50] [SPEAKER_00]: Habits are the most overlooked because while terrible habits are obvious,

[00:05:55] [SPEAKER_00]: merely bad ones are often invisible.

[00:05:58] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't think most people know that their diets are making them gradually less fit and healthy.

[00:06:04] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't think that they know that their comfort zones are tightening around them like a noose.

[00:06:09] [SPEAKER_00]: Whether you're spending time, money, or willpower on building a new habit,

[00:06:13] [SPEAKER_00]: take an objective look at what the ripples of that expenditure will look like in a few years.

[00:06:20] [SPEAKER_00]: Will it enable you to do more? Will it ratchet your life up?

[00:06:24] [SPEAKER_00]: Will you still be benefiting from it all?

[00:06:27] [SPEAKER_00]: None of us are going to make the right choices according to those criteria every time,

[00:06:32] [SPEAKER_00]: but we can all do it most of the time.

[00:06:35] [SPEAKER_00]: And even recognizing when you're not doing it is valuable.

[00:06:38] [SPEAKER_00]: I spent all Saturday last week watching UFC 200.

[00:06:41] [SPEAKER_00]: No real benefit there, but I decided I was going to do it

[00:06:45] [SPEAKER_00]: and was then very productive the next day to tip the scales back in the right direction.

[00:06:52] [SPEAKER_00]: Don't just live your life. Build it.

[00:06:59] [SPEAKER_00]: You just listened to the post titled The Building Mindset by Tynan of tynan.com

[00:07:04] [SPEAKER_00]: and I'll be right back with my commentary.

[00:07:07] [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you to Tynan.

[00:07:08] [SPEAKER_00]: I actually found the part about friendships really interesting.

[00:07:11] [SPEAKER_00]: Since we're kids, I think it becomes natural to hang out with whoever's around.

[00:07:17] [SPEAKER_00]: Those are our options at school, so you gotta make do.

[00:07:21] [SPEAKER_00]: As we get older, we tend to keep those friends,

[00:07:25] [SPEAKER_00]: or make more maybe in college or at work,

[00:07:29] [SPEAKER_00]: which again is a tiny pool of people,

[00:07:32] [SPEAKER_00]: and we just go with whoever happens to be there.

[00:07:35] [SPEAKER_00]: But do we ever think about who we want to be close with, 10 years down the line?

[00:07:40] [SPEAKER_00]: It's really interesting to consider that.

[00:07:43] [SPEAKER_00]: I just met up with a friend that I hadn't seen in 5 years.

[00:07:47] [SPEAKER_00]: Good guy who's got some great habits.

[00:07:50] [SPEAKER_00]: He runs many miles every day because he enjoys it.

[00:07:54] [SPEAKER_00]: He doesn't drink because it doesn't bring him value.

[00:07:57] [SPEAKER_00]: It got me thinking about how I should have made more of an effort

[00:08:00] [SPEAKER_00]: to keep up with him over these years.

[00:08:03] [SPEAKER_00]: That's the type of person I'd like to be around more.

[00:08:06] [SPEAKER_00]: A good person that's easy to get along with,

[00:08:09] [SPEAKER_00]: and who's a good influence.

[00:08:11] [SPEAKER_00]: Someone I can imagine still getting along with and relating to 10 years from now.

[00:08:17] [SPEAKER_00]: So it's an interesting one to consider.

[00:08:19] [SPEAKER_00]: Really got me thinking, hopefully for you too, in a good way.

[00:08:22] [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you to Tyen for the post.

[00:08:24] [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for being here.

[00:08:25] [SPEAKER_00]: Have a great rest of your day, and I'll see you tomorrow as usual,

[00:08:29] [SPEAKER_00]: where your optimal life awaits.