3342: Fear of the Unknown: How to Overcome It by Jeff McClung with NoSidebar on Optimism & Happiness

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[00:00:35] [SPEAKER_00]: Optimal Living Daily. This is Optimal Living Daily, Fear of the Unknown. How to Overcome It

[00:00:43] [SPEAKER_00]: by Jeff McClung with NoSidebar.com and I'm Justin Malik. And we're going to jump right

[00:00:49] [SPEAKER_00]: into another article as we optimize your life, Fear of the Unknown. How to Overcome It by Jeff

[00:00:59] [SPEAKER_00]: McClung with NoSidebar.com. For several years my wife and I tried to have kids. When we couldn't

[00:01:07] [SPEAKER_00]: conceive after the first few years we went to several doctors to see what the problem was.

[00:01:12] [SPEAKER_00]: They couldn't find one. So we kept trying but still couldn't get pregnant.

[00:01:17] [SPEAKER_00]: Finally after a lot of tears, discussion, advice, and research we decided to adopt.

[00:01:24] [SPEAKER_00]: After a year and a half of classes, paperwork, interviews, and waiting

[00:01:29] [SPEAKER_00]: we got the call that every parent who wants to adopt dreams about. We had been placed with

[00:01:34] [SPEAKER_00]: a beautiful three-day old girl. But there was a problem. While her birth mother had signed

[00:01:40] [SPEAKER_00]: off her parental rights, her birth father had not. At the time no one was certain of who her

[00:01:47] [SPEAKER_00]: birth father was. Before any adoption of this child could be finalized, her birth father had to be

[00:01:53] [SPEAKER_00]: discovered and he'd have to agree to sign off on his parental rights like her birth mother had.

[00:01:59] [SPEAKER_00]: The Fear of the Unknown. All of these unknowns didn't change the fact that this baby

[00:02:05] [SPEAKER_00]: needed a home now. Our social worker gave us the night to decide what we wanted to do.

[00:02:11] [SPEAKER_00]: We paced back and forth talking through all the pros and cons. We thought a lot about what would

[00:02:16] [SPEAKER_00]: happen if things didn't work out the way we hoped. We would be placed with a baby that we so desperately

[00:02:22] [SPEAKER_00]: wanted and yearned for, to love and care for, only to potentially have her ripped out of our

[00:02:28] [SPEAKER_00]: lives through no fault of our own. As scary as the potential of that was to us, it became

[00:02:35] [SPEAKER_00]: overshadowed by what could be if things worked out for us. We would be parents. We would have a baby

[00:02:43] [SPEAKER_00]: to raise and call our own. It'd be the fulfillment of a lifelong dream. We decided to move forward

[00:02:49] [SPEAKER_00]: with the placement. We called our social worker, told her we were in, and got a few last-minute

[00:02:55] [SPEAKER_00]: supplies from the store. Here is one of the many things we learned from our daughter's adoption

[00:03:00] [SPEAKER_00]: experience about dealing with the unknown. When you're afraid of the unknown, focus on the good

[00:03:06] [SPEAKER_00]: that could be, not on the bad that might be. My wife and I are pretty cautious people. We don't move

[00:03:13] [SPEAKER_00]: forward with many things without first doing our homework and weighing the pros and cons.

[00:03:18] [SPEAKER_00]: Certainly, that's what we did with our daughter's adoption. That next year was a terrifying

[00:03:23] [SPEAKER_00]: adventure for us. We spent that year in and out of court battling for our daughter. There were

[00:03:29] [SPEAKER_00]: a lot of dark days for us along the road to making our daughter a forever MacLung.

[00:03:35] [SPEAKER_00]: There were many days we thought we would lose her. When those fears would creep up, and they

[00:03:39] [SPEAKER_00]: did quite often, we reminded ourselves of the good that could be, not the bad that might be.

[00:03:47] [SPEAKER_00]: This focus helped carry us through the toughest year of our lives,

[00:03:51] [SPEAKER_00]: struggling with the fear of the unknown. For you, maybe your company has been having

[00:03:57] [SPEAKER_00]: some tough times forcing them to lay you off. Maybe you're about to graduate from high school

[00:04:01] [SPEAKER_00]: or college, but you're not sure what you're going to do after graduation. Or maybe you got

[00:04:06] [SPEAKER_00]: some bad news about your health from the doctor and you're not sure what this means for you

[00:04:10] [SPEAKER_00]: and your family. Whatever situation you find yourself in, when you're worried about the

[00:04:15] [SPEAKER_00]: unknown, ask yourself this question. What good things could this situation make possible?

[00:04:23] [SPEAKER_00]: Being laid off from your current job could give you the time you need to find your dream job.

[00:04:27] [SPEAKER_00]: The crash in the economy could give you the opportunity to get rid of the clutter in your

[00:04:31] [SPEAKER_00]: home and learn better ways of managing your money. Graduation could give you the opportunity

[00:04:36] [SPEAKER_00]: to travel, volunteer, and discover what it is you really want to do with your life.

[00:04:43] [SPEAKER_00]: A health scare could be what you've needed to focus on the things that really matter

[00:04:47] [SPEAKER_00]: in your life and give more attention to the pursuits and people who you love most.

[00:04:53] [SPEAKER_00]: Seeing the uncertain social political environment in our world today could be what inspires you

[00:04:58] [SPEAKER_00]: to take action and do something to help others in need. Why we fear the unknown

[00:05:04] [SPEAKER_00]: We fear the unknown because of what it could take from us when we should focus our attention

[00:05:10] [SPEAKER_00]: more on the good that could come out of it if we work at it patiently. It took over a year

[00:05:16] [SPEAKER_00]: for my wife and I to finalize our daughter's adoption. In addition to becoming the parents to

[00:05:20] [SPEAKER_00]: the most amazing little girl in the whole world, we have become much closer as a couple

[00:05:26] [SPEAKER_00]: and stronger as a family. We were the recipients of an overwhelming outpouring of love and support

[00:05:32] [SPEAKER_00]: that we had never experienced up to that point, none of which would have happened

[00:05:36] [SPEAKER_00]: if we had given in to the fear of the unknown. Don't let the fear of the unknown

[00:05:42] [SPEAKER_00]: keep you from experiencing a life greater than you have ever known.

[00:05:51] [SPEAKER_00]: You just listened to the post titled, Fear of the Unknown, How to Overcome It

[00:05:55] [SPEAKER_00]: by Jeff McClung with nosidebar.com and I'll be right back with my commentary.

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[00:07:10] [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you to Jeff, a guest writer on NoSidebar.

[00:07:13] [SPEAKER_00]: That sounds like such a tough spot to be in and where unknowns can really get the best of them.

[00:07:19] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not sure I could make that kind of decision like they did.

[00:07:22] [SPEAKER_00]: And while their situation was really a big one, I'm glad he brought up other cases,

[00:07:28] [SPEAKER_00]: someone graduating from college or high school, dealing with uncertainty in a job and so on.

[00:07:34] [SPEAKER_00]: Because it's all relative. Those could feel just as big to us and we all have to deal with

[00:07:40] [SPEAKER_00]: uncertainty in different ways. It's really easy to get overwhelmed in those situations,

[00:07:45] [SPEAKER_00]: but maybe if we can shift our perspective even just a tiny bit,

[00:07:48] [SPEAKER_00]: we can feel a positive difference. And getting through that uncertainty and fear,

[00:07:53] [SPEAKER_00]: that's growth which I think is why we're here in the first place.

[00:07:57] [SPEAKER_00]: So maybe we can try to look at our fears a bit differently today thinking about

[00:08:01] [SPEAKER_00]: what could go right instead of wrong. Because even if it doesn't go exactly to plan,

[00:08:07] [SPEAKER_00]: we will have grown in some way. So thank you again to Jeff for sharing his story and thank you

[00:08:13] [SPEAKER_00]: for being here. Have a great rest of your day and I'll see you tomorrow with another article

[00:08:17] [SPEAKER_00]: and where your optimal life awaits.