3346: How to Deal Wth Expectations AND 5 Steps to Envision Your Ideal Life by Shirley of Daring Living

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[00:00:38] This is Optimal Living Daily, How to Deal with Expectations and 5 Steps to Envision

[00:00:45] Your Ideal Life by Shirley of DaringLiving.com and I'm Justin Malik, the guy that reads

[00:00:51] to you every single day of the year including weekends and holidays.

[00:00:54] But with that, let's get right to the two posts as we optimize your life.

[00:01:03] How to Deal with Expectations by Shirley of DaringLiving.com

[00:01:09] Hey friend, let's talk about expectations.

[00:01:12] Expectations from your parents, from your partner, from your boss and from your peers.

[00:01:18] If you're a millennial in your 20s to early 30s, this is a phase where a lot

[00:01:22] of us are still navigating through life trying to figure out what we want to do and learning

[00:01:27] about what's important to us.

[00:01:29] Because we're still discovering ourselves when we receive expectations from others,

[00:01:34] it can be very likely for us to take on other's expectations thinking that we have to meet

[00:01:39] up to that.

[00:01:40] Here are some tips on how you can get out of that mindset.

[00:01:45] How to Deal with Expectations

[00:01:47] Number one, identify what's your stuff versus other people's stuff.

[00:01:53] When people give you expectations, it is their stuff, not yours.

[00:01:58] The expectations others set for you come from their own thoughts, beliefs, past experiences,

[00:02:03] values, how they're taught growing up, what they're familiar with, etc.

[00:02:08] You get the point.

[00:02:09] Is everything to do with them and nothing to do with you?

[00:02:13] As a person on the receiving end of the expectation, you can choose to make it mean

[00:02:18] however you want because you're always in control of your thoughts.

[00:02:23] Number two, you can choose not to take on other's expectations if you don't want to.

[00:02:29] Decide if you want to value what this person has to say.

[00:02:33] You can choose to think about the expectation however you want.

[00:02:36] Now this doesn't mean there won't be consequences

[00:02:39] because you are always responsible for your actions and what you do.

[00:02:43] If your boss expects you to arrive on time and you are late,

[00:02:46] then your boss might be upset and you might lose your job.

[00:02:49] So you can decide to take on that expectation and decide to be the reliable employee that

[00:02:55] your boss wants you to be.

[00:02:57] Know that it is your choice.

[00:02:59] You always have the power, not others.

[00:03:03] Number three, be curious about why others have the expectation about you.

[00:03:08] When you feel that someone is dumping his or her expectation on you,

[00:03:11] instead of being defensive, what you can do is approach the situation with curiosity.

[00:03:18] Why would the person expect this of you?

[00:03:21] Most of the time it's almost always about the other person.

[00:03:24] But sometimes it can also be because you've been acting a certain way

[00:03:27] and not communicating what you actually want.

[00:03:31] If you never communicate to your partner that you want him or her to do the dishes,

[00:03:35] of course he or she is going to keep expecting you to do it.

[00:03:39] And number four, create distance and filter out the noise if you need to.

[00:03:44] Sometimes we can receive expectations from those around us who we love

[00:03:48] and we don't necessarily agree with how they want us to be.

[00:03:52] They can be your parents, your partner or your close friends.

[00:03:56] If your parents want you to pursue a certain career path but you know that

[00:03:59] deep down you're meant to do something else,

[00:04:02] you've got to create distance and filter out the noise.

[00:04:05] Let other people be themselves while you can choose to keep doing what you do.

[00:04:11] And I'm speaking from personal experience by the way so I can totally understand

[00:04:14] because ultimately this is your life.

[00:04:18] You get to take ownership of it and make choices for yourself.

[00:04:22] You get to take actions forward and start creating a life that you truly love.

[00:04:31] Five steps to envision your ideal life by Shirley of DaringLiving.com

[00:04:38] Have you ever wished to get more out of your life or felt that your life could be a whole lot better?

[00:04:44] Have you thought about what your ideal life would look like?

[00:04:47] We create what we imagine. We become who we aspire to be.

[00:04:52] Here are five steps to start envisioning and creating your ideal life

[00:04:55] and getting clear with what you really want.

[00:04:58] Number one, imagine your ideal life 10 years from today.

[00:05:03] Start by thinking about what kind of person you want to be in 10 years

[00:05:06] and the type of lifestyle you want to live.

[00:05:10] Number two, write out that ideal life into words.

[00:05:14] Write them out into sentences in paragraph form.

[00:05:17] The key is to write everything out in present tense as if you're living the life right now.

[00:05:22] Write them out as detailed as possible.

[00:05:25] Take all the time you need for this.

[00:05:26] It's really important to know what it is you truly desire.

[00:05:30] Here are some questions to guide you along.

[00:05:33] In 10 years, answered in the present tense,

[00:05:36] what kind of person are you? What are some key traits that define you?

[00:05:41] What is important to you? What are your values?

[00:05:44] What kind of people are around you? Who do you interact with the most?

[00:05:48] What kind of person do other people see you as?

[00:05:51] What do you do for fun? Where do you hang out?

[00:05:54] What hobbies do you have? What type of job are you doing?

[00:05:57] What is your work environment like?

[00:05:59] Where are you living? What is your living environment like?

[00:06:03] Are you living by yourself or with someone else? Do you have a pet?

[00:06:08] Number three, write out a typical day of your ideal life.

[00:06:12] Again, write it out in present tense from waking up to going to bed.

[00:06:17] Number four, place the paper somewhere where you can see it every day.

[00:06:21] I pasted mine on my bedroom mirror and also wrote it out again in my bullet journal.

[00:06:26] And number five, read it out loud to yourself every day.

[00:06:31] Take the time after waking up every morning or before bed every night

[00:06:35] to read out the paragraph to yourself. You're reading it as if you are that person

[00:06:40] and living your ideal life right now. Really make this exercise into a daily mantra for yourself.

[00:06:46] You cannot really strive to be your best self if you're not clear with what you truly

[00:06:51] desire. At first, that life may feel very unreal to you. Your ideal self may seem like a completely

[00:06:57] different person. But I promise you that over time as you reread who you really are over and over again,

[00:07:05] those words will be engraved in you because we all have the ability

[00:07:08] to be our best selves in this world. It may not happen overnight, but it will happen.

[00:07:14] You just have to be patient. The first step is to envision your dream life and know what

[00:07:19] you want. Then you can start planning and take actionable steps toward that life.

[00:07:29] You just listened to the post titled, How To Deal With Expectations

[00:07:34] and Five Steps To Envision Your Ideal Life Both By Shirley of DaringLiving.com

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[00:08:51] Think it assuredly, I really like the idea of writing out what your ideal day would look like

[00:08:57] because I'm guessing that while we have a little idea of things we wish we were doing right now,

[00:09:03] we probably don't know on a day-to-day basis what that would actually be from the time

[00:09:08] we wake up until we go to sleep. Even what time we'd wake up? What does that day really look like?

[00:09:15] What does breakfast, lunch and dinner look like? Who would you see? Where would you be?

[00:09:21] At home or out and about? And honestly your ideal day wouldn't be ideal if it was every

[00:09:27] day of the week most likely because we all need variation in our days but it's still helpful

[00:09:32] to think about because we can then take the steps necessary to make some of those things

[00:09:37] happen. Without writing it down and actually thinking about it, we likely won't make much progress at all

[00:09:44] so try to write it out if you can if not at least give it some extra thought and attention today.

[00:09:50] Have a great ideal day and I'll be back tomorrow where your optimal life awaits.