3375: [Part 1] Who's Really Got Your Back? by Melani Schweder of A Brighter Wild on Personal Growth

[00:00:00] This is Optimal Living Daily Who's Really Got Your Back? Part 1 by Melani Schweder of A Brighter Wild.com and I'm Justin Malik.

[00:00:10] Happy Friday, welcome to one of the only podcasts in the world where articles are narrated to you for free with permission from the authors and it's an award-winning podcast thanks to you.

[00:00:21] Today I have a bit of a longer post so I'll read the first half and then finish the rest for you tomorrow. So with that let's get right to it and start optimizing your life.

[00:00:33] Who's Really Got Your Back? Part 1 by Melani Schweder of A Brighter Wild.com

[00:00:40] Get comfy. I want you to close your eyes for just a moment if you're not driving or moving.

[00:00:46] Think of the first person you'd call in an emergency. Maybe you just lost your house and need somewhere to crash.

[00:00:53] Or perhaps you're in the middle of a terrible flare-up and need a ride to the hospital.

[00:00:58] Who do you have in your life that you trust to have your back in situations like this?

[00:01:04] Picture them very clearly in your mind. See their face. Feel their arms wrap around you. Hear the reassurance in their voice. Maybe even recall the way they smell.

[00:01:16] Chances are by now you're feeling a flush of warmth and maybe a smile has crept onto your face.

[00:01:23] I definitely got a little grin going on. After all, it's in our nature to rely on each other and we feel good when we consider the people who love and support us.

[00:01:33] Our brains especially crave connection and trust and thrive when we know we're part of a group.

[00:01:39] Our tribe as many call it. Now keep that good feeling in the back of your head. We'll expand on it later.

[00:01:47] All people, regardless of circumstance, are healthier and happier when they have a strong support system.

[00:01:54] But the benefits are even more pronounced in people with serious health conditions or disabilities.

[00:01:59] I know for me, when I realized my illness wasn't just a passing fad,

[00:02:03] the importance of genuine caring relationships came roaring into the spotlight and made me seriously take stock of everyone I had in my life.

[00:02:13] But also around this time, it became clear that only a handful of people were going to stick around anyway.

[00:02:19] Chronic diseases have a special way of killing relationships, especially for those who are still quote-unquote young.

[00:02:25] So it clarified my perspective even more.

[00:02:27] It was sad to feel those losses, but after a while it was obvious that the holes they left in their wake weren't all that big or important after all.

[00:02:38] You may have noticed that living with a chronic or invisible illness tends to polarize your interactions with people.

[00:02:45] Some of your friends or acquaintances seem to be uncomfortable with being confronted with your health issues,

[00:02:51] and you can feel them pull away.

[00:02:52] You can tell by watching their body language or even tapping into your energetic sense.

[00:02:58] These people generally fall off the face of the map within a few months of your diagnosis or other major life change,

[00:03:05] occasionally taking a piece of your heart and your trust with them.

[00:03:09] And this can hurt oh so badly.

[00:03:12] Believe me, I've been in this position a couple of times in my life already.

[00:03:15] There's nothing quite as painful as losing what you thought was a good solid relationship to something as unpredictable as illness.

[00:03:24] But I'll let you in on a little secret.

[00:03:26] Those people weren't your true friends to begin with.

[00:03:31] Sadly, it just often takes a catastrophe to separate the good from the bad,

[00:03:35] the real from the fake,

[00:03:37] and the strong from the weak.

[00:03:39] But this post isn't about those people.

[00:03:42] It's about the ones that stand up and stick around.

[00:03:45] The ones who speak out and settle in.

[00:03:48] Your real support system.

[00:03:51] I'm just now coming to realize one very important thing about the people we attract into our lives.

[00:03:57] That their unique fortitude and energy is often the most similar to our own.

[00:04:03] It's less about our shared past experiences, but how we choose to work with them.

[00:04:08] For example, it's probably easy to find someone who shares your diagnosis,

[00:04:13] or someone who struggles with the same addictions,

[00:04:16] or someone with the same socioeconomic background.

[00:04:19] But it's much more difficult to sift out the ones who have the same attitude,

[00:04:24] mindset, and mental or emotional strength that you do.

[00:04:28] A sieve of that power takes time and patience to create,

[00:04:32] but is the only reliable way to find the real diamonds.

[00:04:37] So, how do you even start identifying and attracting your tribe?

[00:04:42] Here's an easy little exercise to get you going.

[00:04:45] Hear that on tomorrow's episode.

[00:04:51] You just listened to part one of the post titled,

[00:04:54] Who's Really Got Your Back?

[00:04:56] by Melanie Schwader of abrighterwild.com.

[00:04:59] And I'll be right back with my commentary.

[00:05:02] Thank you to Melanie.

[00:05:03] The focus here has been on chronic illness,

[00:05:06] but I think this applies to all sorts of life challenges.

[00:05:10] Maybe it's losing a job, or going through a divorce,

[00:05:13] or just hitting a rough patch.

[00:05:15] Some friends do pull away when things get tough.

[00:05:18] And that might be their own way of dealing with issues,

[00:05:22] withdrawing.

[00:05:23] But we do need people in our lives who will be there.

[00:05:26] Do you have that person or those people in your life?

[00:05:30] It's okay if you don't.

[00:05:31] But I do think it's important to question it.

[00:05:33] And if you are starting from scratch with finding these people

[00:05:36] and attracting them into your life,

[00:05:39] she has some strategies we'll hear in tomorrow's episode.

[00:05:42] I'll leave it there for now,

[00:05:43] since we're just halfway through the article.

[00:05:46] So with that, stick around for tomorrow's show.

[00:05:47] Thank you for being here and listening every day.

[00:05:50] And an extra special thank you if you've shared this show with someone,

[00:05:54] maybe a close friend that you know is there for you during tough times.

[00:05:57] Maybe you can share this episode with them as a way to

[00:06:00] show your appreciation and basically tell them how you feel.

[00:06:04] Thank you again if you've ever shared this show with someone.

[00:06:07] And I'll see you tomorrow for part two,

[00:06:09] where your optimal life awaits.

[00:06:11] izza pone her life awaits.

[00:06:11] Thank you.