3385: Get What You Want: The 3 Keys to Being Authentic by Chris Reining on Speaking Your Mind

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[00:00:38] This is Optimal Living Daily. Get What You Want, The 3 Keys to Being Authentic by Chris Reining of chrisreining.com and I'm Justin Malik.

[00:00:48] Welcome back to our usual Sunday bonus episode where I share an episode from one of the other podcasts in the Optimal Living Daily Network.

[00:00:56] Today's episode is coming from Optimal Finance Daily, our second ever show. You can follow or subscribe to that podcast wherever you're hearing this if you enjoy what you're about to hear.

[00:01:07] So with that, let's get right to the post and commentary from Diana as we optimize your life.

[00:01:16] Get What You Want, The 3 Keys to Being Authentic by Chris Reining of chrisreining.com

[00:01:25] Do you believe it's truly okay to be yourself?

[00:01:29] Most of us would say, yes, of course I do.

[00:01:32] But let me ask you, do you get the promotions at work you bust your ass for,

[00:01:37] have the financial resources you wish you had, and get the dates with the hotties you desire?

[00:01:42] The fact remains, most of us are not always okay with being ourselves, and because of that, we don't get what we want.

[00:01:51] We believe that in order to secure a promotion or raise, we need to come across as being perfect so we hide our flaws and mistakes.

[00:02:00] We believe by seeking the approval of others, we'll get them to like us, and we'll get what we want so we become a people pleaser.

[00:02:08] We're only on this spinning ball of dirt we call earth for a short period of time, and our journey should include living an authentic life.

[00:02:17] For example, I have a friend that always speaks his mind.

[00:02:21] I often think he's rude and obnoxious, and I'm not alone.

[00:02:26] If he doesn't like the food he ordered, he calls the waitstaff over and tells them.

[00:02:30] If he doesn't like someone, he tells them.

[00:02:33] If he doesn't like something you did, he'll tell you.

[00:02:36] It gets even worse when we're out at the bar and he's had a few cocktails.

[00:02:40] You probably think he sounds like an ass, and I'm his one and only friend.

[00:02:45] But that's not the case at all.

[00:02:47] While he's certainly prickly at times, he also has a lot of people who like and respect him.

[00:02:53] Why?

[00:02:54] Because he's himself at all times and doesn't care what anyone thinks about him.

[00:02:59] He's authentic.

[00:03:00] If you want to live an authentic life filled with job satisfaction, financial stability, happiness, and deep personal relationships,

[00:03:09] here are three things you can do right now to kickstart it.

[00:03:14] Number one, don't hide your imperfections.

[00:03:17] You can be who you are and also be liked at work, find love, and generally just enjoy life being nobody but yourself.

[00:03:26] We're all flawed in our own ways, and if we try to cover up those flaws and imperfections, people have nothing to connect with or relate to.

[00:03:36] We're attracted to other people's imperfections.

[00:03:39] As Tim Kreider wrote in the Times,

[00:03:43] quote,

[00:03:43] Anyone worth noting is inevitably also going to be exasperating, making the same obvious mistakes over and over,

[00:03:51] dating imbeciles, endlessly relapsing into their dumb addictions and self-defeating habits,

[00:03:58] blind to their own hilarious flaws and blatant contradictions, and fiercely devoted to whatever keeps them miserable.

[00:04:05] End quote.

[00:04:06] Don't put up a facade of being perfect.

[00:04:09] Just make sure to take responsibility for your imperfections and make amends when needed.

[00:04:15] Number two, tell the truth.

[00:04:18] According to a study by the American Psychological Association, Americans lie 11 times per week.

[00:04:26] Lying can cause a lot of stress in your life, which can contribute to anxiety and a whole host of other unpleasant side effects.

[00:04:34] By not lying about why you were late for a meeting or making an excuse for why you failed to complete a task,

[00:04:42] you'll find your relationships and social interactions will improve.

[00:04:46] Don't soften, twist, or shade.

[00:04:49] Just tell the truth.

[00:04:52] Number three, do what feels right.

[00:04:55] Stand up for yourself and your beliefs.

[00:04:58] Example, you want to speak up in a meeting because you have a differing viewpoint, one that you're passionate about.

[00:05:04] You decide against it because it might ruffle feathers.

[00:05:07] You failed to do what felt right by not speaking up.

[00:05:12] Example, you don't have time for yet another project at work when your boss assigns you a new one.

[00:05:18] You agree to it because you want to appear eager or simply nice.

[00:05:22] You failed to do what felt right by agreeing to take on the work.

[00:05:27] Don't be afraid to do what feels right, no matter what the consequences are.

[00:05:32] Explaining truthfully why you did something, people will have greater respect and appreciate you

[00:05:38] and will open doors in your career and life that are currently closed for you.

[00:05:42] By implementing these three suggestions, you'll immediately start to see a change in yourself

[00:05:47] and how other people interact with you.

[00:05:50] And number four, how this relates to personal finance.

[00:05:55] The fact is, we're all perfectly fine as we are, but we still need to continue growing as a person, pushing our boundaries.

[00:06:03] Once you learn to live with your mistakes and flaws on display, tell the truth and to do what feels right,

[00:06:10] only then are you truly okay being yourself.

[00:06:13] As that happens and you live your life with authenticity, you'll soon find you start to get what you've always desired from your job,

[00:06:22] your career, and your life, which all directly impacts your finances.

[00:06:31] You just listened to the post titled,

[00:06:34] Get What You Want, The Three Keys to Being Authentic, by Chris Reining of chrisreining.com.

[00:06:41] While I agree that being authentic is important, I think it's equally important to have self-awareness.

[00:06:48] The way Chris describes his friend at the beginning of this article,

[00:06:52] the one who's brash and always says what's on his mind, isn't a great example of authenticity for me.

[00:06:58] I believe it's possible to speak your mind with a high level of emotional intelligence and compassion.

[00:07:06] And being rude and obnoxious in the name of authenticity isn't going to get you very far.

[00:07:12] Not caring what others think of you doesn't necessarily mean disregarding others.

[00:07:18] It simply means that their opinion of you is not nearly as important as your opinion of yourself.

[00:07:24] Living authentically for me means that if pleasing others and pleasing myself are at odds,

[00:07:31] I should prioritize pleasing myself.

[00:07:34] When you pair authenticity with emotional intelligence and self-awareness,

[00:07:38] you start to build discernment around feedback you receive from other people.

[00:07:43] Many times other people's opinions of us are just reflections of how they feel about themselves

[00:07:49] and have nothing to do with us.

[00:07:51] This is where the sentiment, what other people think about me is none of my business,

[00:07:56] can be helpful in keeping our sanity.

[00:07:59] But when we're interacting with other emotionally intelligent people that have our best interests

[00:08:05] at heart, they can provide constructive criticism that can help us uncover blind spots we might

[00:08:11] not be aware of.

[00:08:12] The key here in sorting through helpful constructive criticism and unhelpful opinions that threaten your

[00:08:20] authenticity is having a willingness to investigate your motivations and intentions honestly.

[00:08:27] We often lie to ourselves way more than we lie to other people.

[00:08:31] And this certainly gets in the way of living an authentic life.

[00:08:36] And that's a wrap for another Monday show.

[00:08:38] Have a great rest of your day and start to your week.

[00:08:41] And I'll be back tomorrow where your optimal life awaits.