3401: Stop Depriving Yourself and Get What You Really Want by Chris of Keep Thrifty on Choosing Happiness

[00:00:00] This is Optimal Living Daily. Stop depriving yourself and get what you really want by Chris of Keep Thrifty.com and I'm Justin Malik.

[00:00:10] Welcome back to our usual Sunday bonus episode where I share an episode from one of the other podcasts in the Optimal Living Daily network, usually overlapping with the kinds of themes that come up here.

[00:00:20] Today's episode comes from Optimal Finance Daily. You can follow or subscribe to that show wherever you're hearing this and if you enjoy what you're about to hear.

[00:00:29] So with that, let's get right to the post and commentary from Diana as we optimize your life.

[00:00:39] Stop depriving yourself and get what you really want by Chris of Keep Thrifty.com

[00:00:46] From the outside in, frugality and minimalism often look like acts of self-deprivation.

[00:00:53] After all, eating out is easier and tastes better than a home-cooked meal and getting a new gadget or outfit puts a smile on your face.

[00:01:01] Why would we deprive ourselves of these little luxuries?

[00:01:05] We used to deprive ourselves a lot.

[00:01:09] Years ago, Jamie and I ate out a lot.

[00:01:12] We'd get dinner from restaurants two to three times a week and ice cream and treats a whole lot more than that.

[00:01:19] We'd also regularly buy nice little things to decorate our home.

[00:01:23] A decorative painted canvas over here, a leather pottery barn catch-all over there.

[00:01:30] Fashions would change and our home decorations would be out of style.

[00:01:33] So we'd go get new ones.

[00:01:35] The excitement would last for a day or two and then dissipate.

[00:01:40] The same went for clothing and gadgets.

[00:01:43] Every purchase felt positive in the moment.

[00:01:45] But a few hours or days later, the high was gone.

[00:01:49] We thought we were treating ourselves.

[00:01:52] But we were actually depriving ourselves.

[00:01:55] While we had all of our little luxuries, we were missing out on the big luxuries, our dreams.

[00:02:02] As an example, we continuously told ourselves that we couldn't afford to travel because we never had enough money.

[00:02:09] Whenever we tried to save, we'd get frustrated at our lack of progress.

[00:02:13] Saving money was hard because we didn't want to give up what made us happy in the moment.

[00:02:18] Disappointed, we would give up and go back to our little luxury purchases.

[00:02:23] We were stuck in a self-fulfilling cycle.

[00:02:27] We couldn't travel because of our flippant spending.

[00:02:29] So we made more flippant purchases and made travel unreachable.

[00:02:34] We wanted to do something big, but we were stuck doing small things instead.

[00:02:39] We deserved better.

[00:02:42] What you deserve.

[00:02:44] There is a store near our house that sells fancy napkins, candles, wine glasses, accessories, and other knick-knacky decorative stuff.

[00:02:53] The slogan on their sign says it all.

[00:02:55] Nothing you need.

[00:02:57] Everything you deserve.

[00:02:59] That still gets my blood boiling.

[00:03:02] If you pay attention to commercials these days, you'll see a lot of marketing centers around the concept of treating yourself and about what you deserve.

[00:03:12] According to the ads, you deserve to look your best, feel your best, and do things that make you happy.

[00:03:18] I don't disagree with that.

[00:03:21] But when these commercials tell you that a hamburger and fries or your 27th pair of shoes are going to do those things for you,

[00:03:29] I feel compelled to point out what this is.

[00:03:32] A bait and switch.

[00:03:34] Convincing you that you deserve little luxuries is the ultimate Jedi mind trick from the dark side of the Force.

[00:03:41] They want us to think that we're depriving ourselves when we don't buy them, but we're depriving ourselves when we do.

[00:03:49] If it's a choice between the small stuff and the big stuff, we want the big stuff.

[00:03:54] We want the memories of an international vacation.

[00:03:58] We want the lasting joy of having a reduced work schedule.

[00:04:02] We want the freedom of being debt-free.

[00:04:05] But giving up the little stuff to gain the big stuff is easier said than done.

[00:04:11] Master yourself.

[00:04:13] Get what you want.

[00:04:14] We've been following lots of great thinkers on frugality and minimalism,

[00:04:19] and we've noticed that they all have something in common.

[00:04:22] The frugal and minimalist aren't masters of deprivation.

[00:04:26] They're masters of prioritization and masters of self.

[00:04:30] When faced with the choice between impulse purchase happiness or progress towards their dreams, they choose dreams.

[00:04:38] They're disciplined and dedicated with laser-like focus on what's important to them.

[00:04:44] While they push towards their goals, the inconsequential melts away.

[00:04:49] That's what Jamie and I aspire to be.

[00:04:52] Not masters of deprivation, but masters of our own selves.

[00:04:57] Once we slowed down our spending on the little luxuries, we found ourselves better able to achieve our real dreams.

[00:05:04] Travel, freedom, and a mini-retirement.

[00:05:07] As we decluttered and minimized, we realized that we already had enough.

[00:05:12] The reason those additional purchases weren't providing lasting joy is that we already had what we needed,

[00:05:19] and they weren't going to provide the big things we really wanted.

[00:05:23] We're not perfect, nor do we ever expect to be, but we're working on getting better every year.

[00:05:29] We continuously try to identify what we value most and remove the rest.

[00:05:34] We recognize that we're our own biggest obstacle when it comes to getting the freedom we desire.

[00:05:40] If we can master ourselves, we're certain to get it.

[00:05:44] Now, when we feel the urge to treat ourselves, we ask what that treat is really costing.

[00:05:50] Is it worth depriving us of our dreams?

[00:05:53] If we can live by that question, we can start to find joy in what we have and see the path to the future we want.

[00:06:05] You just listened to the post titled,

[00:06:08] Stop Depriving Yourself and Get What You Really Want by Chris of Keepthrifty.com.

[00:06:15] I believe that if you reduce your expenses without shifting your desires, it will feel like deprivation.

[00:06:23] Many of us want material abundance because we've been conditioned since birth to be good consumers and desire luxuries.

[00:06:31] In the words of Mr. Money Mustache,

[00:06:33] Luxury is a weakness.

[00:06:35] It's also a distraction from more sustainable forms of happiness and pleasure.

[00:06:40] If you can operate from the mindset that the best things in life are free, you're less likely to feel deprived.

[00:06:47] If you can stop focusing on the stuff you want to buy and instead start exploring how you want to use your time,

[00:06:55] who you want to spend it with, and what you want to create, the answers might surprise you.

[00:07:01] Most people will never experience the joy that comes with time abundance because they're too focused on having material abundance.

[00:07:09] While I don't have a big house or a luxury car or brand name clothing,

[00:07:13] I still feel rich because I have a rock solid support system, the resources and time for creative expression,

[00:07:21] and an able body that can go on long hikes, create beautiful meals, and twist into various shapes during yoga.

[00:07:29] Moving away from materialistic tendencies has been a secret weapon for me in the pursuit of financial freedom.

[00:07:37] It's helped me realize that happiness and satisfaction in life doesn't come from possessions.

[00:07:42] It's much more driven by the expansion of possibilities.

[00:07:47] And that's a wrap for another Monday show.

[00:07:50] Have a great rest of your day and start to your week.

[00:07:52] And I'll be back tomorrow where optimal life awaits.