3409: Perfectionism Is Pointless, And What To Focus On Instead by Rachel Trotta on Self-Sabotage and Burnout

[00:00:00] This is Optimal Living Daily. Perfectionism is pointless, and what to focus on instead by Rachel Trotta of racheltrotta.com and I'm Justin Malik.

[00:00:11] Welcome back to the show where I read an article to you every day, but on Sundays I share an extra episode from another podcast in the Optimal Living Daily network.

[00:00:21] And today's is coming from my brother's show, Optimal Health Daily. You can find that show wherever you're listening to this.

[00:00:26] And with that, let's get right to the bonus episode as we optimize your life.

[00:00:36] Perfectionism is pointless, and what to focus on instead by Rachel Trotta of racheltrotta.com.

[00:00:43] Have you heard the quote, the perfect is the enemy of the good?

[00:00:46] This idea has been attributed to several philosophers over the years, notably Voltaire, who was quoted as saying,

[00:00:54] the best is the enemy of the good. And also, Confucius, who was believed to have said,

[00:01:00] better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without. And finally, Shakespeare, who was quoted as saying,

[00:01:07] striving to better, oft we mar what's well. This is incredibly relevant to health and fitness goals,

[00:01:14] because the number one obstacle that I see holding back many of my clients from making lasting progress

[00:01:20] is perfectionism. Just last week, one of my clients asked me again,

[00:01:25] what should I do to get stricter with my diet? Do you think that will help? And again, my reply was,

[00:01:31] no. This is what I told her, and I'm going to share it with you now. It's not about being perfect.

[00:01:38] It's not about being 100% adherent to a diet or exercise plan. It's not about working harder,

[00:01:44] feeling worse, or beating yourself up more. As I've written many times, getting stricter and coming

[00:01:51] down harder on yourself is not moving away from failure or slip-ups. It's simply the other side

[00:01:56] of the same coin. In other words, if you don't like how you're feeling or how you're performing,

[00:02:01] being harder on yourself is only going to perpetuate the cycle of spinning your wheels,

[00:02:06] not get you out of the rut. Don't let the perfect become the enemy of the good.

[00:02:11] The problem with identifying perfectionism is that it's sneaky. Most people equate perfectionism

[00:02:17] with fastidious personalities and overachievers, like the A-plus student who beats herself up after

[00:02:23] getting an A-minus. But the reality is that perfectionism and self-criticism are often correlated

[00:02:29] with worse performance. In the world of weight loss, health, and fitness, performance could mean

[00:02:36] being able to stick to an eating plan or an intention, being able to stick with an exercise plan,

[00:02:42] or being able to handle life's curveballs. The ultimate outcome of perfectionism leading to poor

[00:02:49] performance is that people don't see the results they want to see, and they don't feel good about

[00:02:54] themselves. Perfectionism isn't about beating yourself up for a 99 instead of 100. It's more likely to

[00:03:01] manifest itself as falling off the wagon on Thursday night and having trouble getting restarted until

[00:03:07] Monday morning. Or, never exercising at all because the perfect time to do the right workout never presents

[00:03:15] itself. Or, not changing eating habits because of uncertainty over the right diet. So, if perfectionism

[00:03:23] isn't the answer, what is? The magic of good enough most of the time. Instead, let's just work toward good.

[00:03:33] To see real progress, your exercise or nutrition plan needs to be executed pretty well most of the time

[00:03:39] with good enough accuracy and consistency. I promise, as hard as it may be to believe, this is the path to

[00:03:48] success. So, instead of focusing on doing things perfectly, and thus instigating the up-and-down cycle

[00:03:54] of short periods of perfect adherence, followed by long, counterproductive periods of giving up,

[00:04:00] let's build the three following skills. One, consistency. Two, preparation. And three, realism.

[00:04:11] Consistency. Consistency is the most important quality of building long-term habits and results

[00:04:17] that you feel really good about. In real-life terms, consistency means hitting your nutrition,

[00:04:24] exercise, and activity goals, or close to them, five to six days out of the week. Choosing to do

[00:04:30] something instead of nothing, even if the something isn't what you planned. And bouncing back quickly

[00:04:38] from perceived slip-ups, meaning you planned to cook dinner at home on Friday but got takeout instead.

[00:04:44] Consistency is essential because you're better off making a B-plus in your health and fitness goals

[00:04:49] every day than you are making two A-pluses and five Fs each week. Your overall average will be higher

[00:04:57] with lots of pretty good days strung together rather than a few excellent days punctuating long periods

[00:05:04] of inaction. Preparation. It's hard to say which is more important, preparation or consistency,

[00:05:10] because preparation tends to make consistency possible. In reality, preparation means using the

[00:05:18] clarity of advanced planning to decide on many routines and decisions in advance,

[00:05:23] regularly going through the motions of setting yourself up for success like grocery shopping at

[00:05:28] least once a week, and putting workouts or other behaviors in your calendar and planning time

[00:05:35] and space to achieve them. Preparation makes follow-through possible. Realism. Finally, a huge

[00:05:43] part of making preparation and consistency work is having a realistic agenda that fits your lifestyle

[00:05:49] and personality. This means using convenient services that make your life easier. For example,

[00:05:56] if you have a busy full-time job, complement your own cooking with maybe a subscription meal service.

[00:06:01] Using accountability. Like, if you know you have trouble sticking to things, enlist a buddy or hire

[00:06:08] professional help. Plan for life's curveballs. If you have small children, planning short workouts

[00:06:15] that can be inserted quickly into any part of the day instead of needing lots of dedicated time and space

[00:06:21] may be helpful. And choosing small wins to accomplish in the short term instead of setting huge goals

[00:06:27] over the long term. Self-compassion. Consistency, preparation, and realism allow you to achieve

[00:06:35] the magic of good enough, which will lead to amazing results over time. Moreover, this mindset is more

[00:06:43] self-compassionate. The goal is to get out of the beat-yourself-up-and-buckle-down downward spiral

[00:06:49] and into a successful, achieving, upward cycle. Build success on success on success and your standards

[00:06:58] will naturally rise as you achieve one goal after another. Don't fall for the trap of thinking that

[00:07:04] getting stricter is the path to success. Instead, take a step back and assess your lifestyle for weak

[00:07:10] points to figure out where you could become more consistent in your execution, more prepared and

[00:07:16] forward thinking in your approach, and more realistic in your goal setting, planning, and assessment of

[00:07:23] yourself. Most of all, think about how you could be kinder to yourself in the process. You just listened

[00:07:33] to the post titled, Perfectionism is Pointless, and What to Focus on Instead, by Rachel Trotta of

[00:07:40] racheltrotta.com. Dr. Neil here for my commentary. I really can't overemphasize enough the importance of

[00:07:48] planning. And it's so funny because we plan for so many other things in our lives, but somehow, when it

[00:07:55] comes to our health and wellness, we like to wing it. I'll give you an example. Say you're going to go

[00:08:00] to a restaurant you've never tried before, and it's two towns over. I'm willing to guess that you're

[00:08:06] going to plug in the restaurant's address into an app on your phone so that you make sure you actually

[00:08:12] make it there, and that you make it there on time. Believe it or not, that's planning. You're setting

[00:08:18] yourself up for success, getting to the restaurant on time. Oh, and I'm sure you're also going to plan

[00:08:24] out about how much time you need to get there, whether you have enough fuel in the gas tank, or

[00:08:30] electric charge in your car's electric battery, whether you're dressing appropriately, and on and on.

[00:08:36] Guess what? That's all planning. Think about going to work on a daily basis. You know exactly what time

[00:08:44] you need to get up in the morning, which route to take on your commute, and so on, so you don't show

[00:08:49] up late. How much planning goes into that next vacation that you're taking? But what happens when

[00:08:55] it comes time to plan, say, I don't know, our exercise? We'll tell ourselves, I'll just figure it

[00:09:01] out later. It'll happen magically. I wished it worked that way. So, take just a moment to plan that next

[00:09:09] nutritious meal or exercise session. It'll make it much more likely to happen that way. All right,

[00:09:16] that'll do it for today. I hope you have a great rest of your Wednesday if you're listening in real

[00:09:20] time, and I'll see you back here for tomorrow's show, where your optimal life awaits.