3428: The Habits of Happiness by Leo Babauta of Zen Habits on Kindness, Gratitude, and Presence

[00:00:00] [SPEAKER_00]: This is Optimal Living Daily, The Habits of Happiness by Leo Babauta of zenhabits.net and I'm your very own personal narrator Justin Malik reading to you from some amazing blogs and books sometimes to help you optimize your life. Today's post comes from Leo of Zen Habits, an author that is narrated across all five of our narration shows. He writes about everything pretty much. So with that let's get right to it as we optimize your life.

[00:00:31] [SPEAKER_00]: The Habits of Happiness by Leo Babauta of zenhabits.net

[00:00:37] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not one who believes you can be happy all the time, but I've learned you can be happy much of the time. And that's not something that depends on how your day is going or how others treat you. It depends on what you do on a regular basis.

[00:00:50] [SPEAKER_00]: I remember being unhappy most days at one point in my life. It wasn't because I hated the people in my life. I had a lovely wife, great kids, other wonderful family members, and friends. It was because I was unhappy with myself.

[00:01:04] [SPEAKER_00]: And that caused growing debt problems, unhappiness with my job, health problems, and more. I felt like I couldn't change any of that.

[00:01:12] [SPEAKER_00]: Then one day I sat down and made a list. I make a lot of lists. It's one of my favorite habits. But this list seemed to have a magical power.

[00:01:21] [SPEAKER_00]: It was a list of the things I was grateful for. Amazingly, there were a lot of things on the list from things about my wife, kids, relatives, and friends, to things about my job, about nature around me, about my life.

[00:01:35] [SPEAKER_00]: This list was magical because I went from feeling a bit depressed about everything and hopeless and helpless to much happier.

[00:01:41] [SPEAKER_00]: My mindset shifted from the things I didn't like or didn't have to the things I was really happy I had. And I was in control.

[00:01:50] [SPEAKER_00]: Since then, I've experimented with a number of habits and found a couple things to be true.

[00:01:55] [SPEAKER_00]: Number one, a handful of activities can actually make you happy.

[00:02:00] [SPEAKER_00]: Number two, if you incorporate them into your life on a regular basis, make them into habits, you'll be happier regularly.

[00:02:07] [SPEAKER_00]: And those might seem to be small realizations, but actually they're huge.

[00:02:12] [SPEAKER_00]: The habits that make you happy.

[00:02:14] [SPEAKER_00]: So what habits make you happy? Try doing these on a daily basis and see if you get the same results.

[00:02:21] [SPEAKER_00]: Number one, list three good things.

[00:02:25] [SPEAKER_00]: Eva and I started a daily evening ritual at about 7pm each day where we take a moment to tell each other three good things about our day.

[00:02:33] [SPEAKER_00]: We didn't invent this, but it serves as at least one time in your day when you focus on what you're grateful for.

[00:02:39] [SPEAKER_00]: This can create a mental habit of gratitude that you can use other times in your day when you're focused on the things that you don't like or have.

[00:02:46] [SPEAKER_00]: When you feel this, think about something you do have that you love.

[00:02:51] [SPEAKER_00]: Find a way to be grateful and you're happier.

[00:02:54] [SPEAKER_00]: Number two, help someone.

[00:02:57] [SPEAKER_00]: When we focus on ourselves and the willful state of our lives, we are self-centered.

[00:03:02] [SPEAKER_00]: This shrinks the world to one little place with one little unhappy person.

[00:03:06] [SPEAKER_00]: But what if we can expand that worldview and expand our heart to include at least one other person, maybe even a few others?

[00:03:12] [SPEAKER_00]: Then we see that others are suffering too, even if that just means they're stressed out.

[00:03:17] [SPEAKER_00]: Then we can reach out and do something to reduce their stress, put a smile on their face, make their lives easier.

[00:03:24] [SPEAKER_00]: Help at least one person each day and you'll find your entire perspective shifted.

[00:03:30] [SPEAKER_00]: Number three, meditate.

[00:03:32] [SPEAKER_00]: I've called this the fundamental habit because it affects everything else.

[00:03:36] [SPEAKER_00]: Meditate for just two minutes a day and you'll create a habit that will allow you to notice your thoughts throughout the rest of the day

[00:03:43] [SPEAKER_00]: that will help you to be more present.

[00:03:45] [SPEAKER_00]: Unhappiness comes from not being present.

[00:03:47] [SPEAKER_00]: That will help you notice a source of anxiety and distraction.

[00:03:50] [SPEAKER_00]: That's a lot that can be accomplished in two minutes.

[00:03:53] [SPEAKER_00]: Sit every morning when you wake and just notice your body and then your breath.

[00:03:58] [SPEAKER_00]: Notice when your mind wanders and gently return to your breath.

[00:04:02] [SPEAKER_00]: You become the watcher of your mind and you'll learn some useful things, my promise.

[00:04:07] [SPEAKER_00]: Number four, exercise.

[00:04:10] [SPEAKER_00]: Everyone knows you should exercise, so I'm not going to belabor this point,

[00:04:13] [SPEAKER_00]: but it really does make you happier both in the moment of exercise,

[00:04:17] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm exerting myself, I'm alive, and throughout the rest of the day.

[00:04:21] [SPEAKER_00]: Exercise lightly if you're not in the habit yet and just for a few minutes a day to start out.

[00:04:26] [SPEAKER_00]: Who doesn't have a few minutes a day?

[00:04:28] [SPEAKER_00]: If you don't, you need to loosen up your schedule a bit.

[00:04:31] [SPEAKER_00]: There are a number of other habits that also help.

[00:04:33] [SPEAKER_00]: Mindful eating, drinking tea, doing yoga, socializing with others.

[00:04:38] [SPEAKER_00]: But these incorporate meditation.

[00:04:40] [SPEAKER_00]: They're more active forms of meditation.

[00:04:42] [SPEAKER_00]: And exercise and helping others and gratitude if you're doing it right.

[00:04:46] [SPEAKER_00]: So I wanted to list the most basic habits.

[00:04:49] [SPEAKER_00]: And then you can expand to other areas.

[00:04:51] [SPEAKER_00]: How do you form these habits?

[00:04:53] [SPEAKER_00]: One at a time, starting as small as possible with some social accountability.

[00:04:58] [SPEAKER_00]: Set these habits in motion.

[00:05:01] [SPEAKER_00]: You'll notice yourself becoming more present, more grateful, and more other-focused.

[00:05:06] [SPEAKER_00]: The shift that results is nothing short of a miracle.

[00:05:14] [SPEAKER_00]: You just listened to the post titled, The Habits of Happiness, by Leo Babauta of zenhabits.net.

[00:05:20] [SPEAKER_00]: And I'll be right back with my commentary.

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[00:06:28] [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you to Leo.

[00:06:29] [SPEAKER_00]: Your list of habits that make you happy probably and likely should be different than his.

[00:06:36] [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe formal meditation and formal exercise don't do it for you.

[00:06:40] [SPEAKER_00]: But you find that playing basketball does make you happy and qualifies as exercise, which is a bonus.

[00:06:47] [SPEAKER_00]: Or maybe going to dance classes.

[00:06:50] [SPEAKER_00]: Same thing.

[00:06:51] [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe volunteering to walk dogs since that's helping others and getting a walk-in.

[00:06:56] [SPEAKER_00]: There's so many options and it's going to look different for everyone and probably different in different seasons of life.

[00:07:03] [SPEAKER_00]: Some people find meditation a bit more stressful than relaxing.

[00:07:07] [SPEAKER_00]: And in that case, maybe something like journaling works better and actually helps you feel like you've released what you're holding on to.

[00:07:15] [SPEAKER_00]: And maybe a bit more light and happier.

[00:07:18] [SPEAKER_00]: It's all about experimentation.

[00:07:20] [SPEAKER_00]: Sticking with what works and then changing it up when it doesn't work.

[00:07:25] [SPEAKER_00]: But taking that first step to find one thing is really important.

[00:07:29] [SPEAKER_00]: So hopefully this one can help you find that something today.

[00:07:33] [SPEAKER_00]: And with that, have a great rest of your day.

[00:07:36] [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for being here.

[00:07:37] [SPEAKER_00]: And I'll see you tomorrow where your optimal life awaits.