3430: So This is Christmas - and How Are You by David Cain of Raptitude on Self-Awareness and Authenticity

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[00:00:38] [SPEAKER_00]: This is Optimal Living Daily. So this is Christmas, and How Are You by David Cain of Raptitude.com and I'm Justin Malik. Welcome to the podcast where I simply read to you covering mental health and self-help topics like mindfulness, happiness, productivity,

[00:00:55] [SPEAKER_00]: and minimalism. Remember to get right to our post for today as we optimize your life. So this is Christmas, and How Are You by David Cain of Raptitude.com.

[00:01:12] [SPEAKER_00]: It's Christmas time and even though the holiday season is lauded as a time of giving and thinking about others, it's also a time when people end up thinking about the state of their own lives. For a number of overlapping reasons, this time of year often triggers some pretty heavy self-reflection.

[00:01:30] [SPEAKER_00]: Whether or not we want to call it that. In households around the world, some common scenarios are poised to unfold as the holiday season rolls in. As the average person's spending hits a peak, this time of year we often think about our finances and how they got to be that way.

[00:01:47] [SPEAKER_00]: Is this the one month when your visa card will carry over a balance? Or is that every month? Many people perennially find themselves sitting across the dinner table from someone with whom there's a history that might be touchy at best.

[00:02:02] [SPEAKER_00]: Old wounds can surface, as well as the reasons behind them, especially with a bit of wine.

[00:02:08] [SPEAKER_00]: With the seasonal proliferation of Salvation Army Santas and World Vision commercials, we sometimes find ourselves in an uncomfortable reflection about what we actually contribute to society and the people in our community.

[00:02:23] [SPEAKER_00]: Do you change the channel when So This Is Christmas comes on over images of starving children? How do you feel about that?

[00:02:30] [SPEAKER_00]: By the same token, we often can't help but reflect on what kind of family member we've been this year and in years past.

[00:02:39] [SPEAKER_00]: Any lingering disappointment with regard to the fulfillment of familial roles in ourselves about others, in others about ourselves, and in ourselves about ourselves, tends to reach ahead in December for some reason.

[00:02:52] [SPEAKER_00]: As we encounter friends and relatives we haven't seen in a few years, we sometimes can't help but compare our progress in the realms of career and family.

[00:03:03] [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, you're running the company now? Oh.

[00:03:06] [SPEAKER_00]: Are you still seeing what's-her-face? No?

[00:03:10] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, things are totally great with me, actually. I'm now Assistant Head Manager of Food Additive Development.

[00:03:16] [SPEAKER_00]: In December, there are a lot of deadlines to meet, not the least of which is getting our shopping done.

[00:03:22] [SPEAKER_00]: Depending on your industry, it may be an especially hectic time at work, too.

[00:03:26] [SPEAKER_00]: We have gatherings to attend and expectations to meet.

[00:03:30] [SPEAKER_00]: Combine these stressors with the insane number of people on the roads and in the stores, not to mention the in-laws in the guest room,

[00:03:37] [SPEAKER_00]: and people can reach levels of anxiety they may not experience at all during the other 11 months.

[00:03:44] [SPEAKER_00]: Famously, nearly everyone ends up eating and drinking too much,

[00:03:48] [SPEAKER_00]: and becomes acutely aware of the lurking self-control problems nearly all of us have.

[00:03:53] [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes I'll even find myself chain-eating from a bowl of old candy canes,

[00:03:59] [SPEAKER_00]: mass-produced sticks of low-grade sugar from which I derive zero joy,

[00:04:03] [SPEAKER_00]: just because it's there.

[00:04:05] [SPEAKER_00]: Honest to God.

[00:04:07] [SPEAKER_00]: Candy canes.

[00:04:07] [SPEAKER_00]: As a natural reflex to these collective urges to stuff our faces and spend out of control,

[00:04:14] [SPEAKER_00]: we begin talking about New Year's resolutions,

[00:04:17] [SPEAKER_00]: which gets us thinking about exactly what it is we can't stand about ourselves.

[00:04:22] [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes we're moved enough to take a stab at a habit change,

[00:04:25] [SPEAKER_00]: because it looks like a clean slate is just around the corner.

[00:04:28] [SPEAKER_00]: But if it is, why can't it only begin in January?

[00:04:32] [SPEAKER_00]: And as a backdrop to all this personal angst,

[00:04:36] [SPEAKER_00]: this is the time of year when consumerism

[00:04:38] [SPEAKER_00]: mushrooms from its year-round casual inanity

[00:04:42] [SPEAKER_00]: to become the grotesque annual abomination we know as Christmas shopping season.

[00:04:47] [SPEAKER_00]: Regular people, possessed by some sinister magic emanating from the television,

[00:04:52] [SPEAKER_00]: trample and elbow their way through others

[00:04:54] [SPEAKER_00]: to get a better deal on a Blu-ray player than the next guy.

[00:04:58] [SPEAKER_00]: If you're somehow able to stay level-headed throughout this shrewdly engineered winter,

[00:05:03] [SPEAKER_00]: it's hard not to get a bit cynical about the whole thing.

[00:05:07] [SPEAKER_00]: Yet, amidst all the retail and social chaos,

[00:05:11] [SPEAKER_00]: most of us will also find ourselves at one moment or another during the season

[00:05:16] [SPEAKER_00]: recognizing with an unusual clarity

[00:05:18] [SPEAKER_00]: what and who are truly most important in our lives.

[00:05:23] [SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to the end of the year.

[00:05:25] [SPEAKER_00]: It's a natural time to look at who you are, where you're headed,

[00:05:29] [SPEAKER_00]: and what you've been up to all this time.

[00:05:32] [SPEAKER_00]: My question is, how are you doing?

[00:05:35] [SPEAKER_00]: Right now?

[00:05:36] [SPEAKER_00]: I'd really like to know.

[00:05:38] [SPEAKER_00]: Don't just answer, oh, good, or not so great.

[00:05:43] [SPEAKER_00]: Be specific.

[00:05:45] [SPEAKER_00]: What are you finding hard in your life at this very moment?

[00:05:48] [SPEAKER_00]: What about your life do you feel a need to change?

[00:05:51] [SPEAKER_00]: Think about it.

[00:05:53] [SPEAKER_00]: Share whatever's on your mind.

[00:05:54] [SPEAKER_00]: Doesn't even need to be about your troubles necessarily.

[00:05:57] [SPEAKER_00]: What's most important to you right now?

[00:06:00] [SPEAKER_00]: Why share this?

[00:06:02] [SPEAKER_00]: A few reasons.

[00:06:03] [SPEAKER_00]: First of all, as much as Christmas is portrayed in our culture as a joyful, fulfilling season,

[00:06:09] [SPEAKER_00]: for a lot of people, it's a particularly difficult time of year.

[00:06:13] [SPEAKER_00]: With all the festivities and expectations of Christmas,

[00:06:16] [SPEAKER_00]: sometimes we don't have a place where we feel comfortable saying so.

[00:06:20] [SPEAKER_00]: Secondly, this time of year, many people find themselves enacting roles where they tend primarily

[00:06:27] [SPEAKER_00]: to the needs of others, whether it's as a host or hostess, a gift giver, a romantic partner,

[00:06:34] [SPEAKER_00]: a parent, or a retail employee.

[00:06:37] [SPEAKER_00]: With all the seasonal busyness going on, it's common to become so preoccupied with the needs

[00:06:42] [SPEAKER_00]: of other people that we forget to tend to ourselves.

[00:06:45] [SPEAKER_00]: It's also comforting just to know what's on other people's minds, which we might otherwise

[00:06:51] [SPEAKER_00]: be oblivious to with so much going on.

[00:06:54] [SPEAKER_00]: So tell me, how's life?

[00:07:00] [SPEAKER_00]: You just listened to the post titled,

[00:07:02] [SPEAKER_00]: So This Is Christmas, And How Are You?

[00:07:05] [SPEAKER_00]: by David Cain of Raptitude.com, and I'll be right back with my commentary.

[00:07:10] [SPEAKER_00]: Look, I'm sure there's someone in all our circles who had to dip into their emergency

[00:07:13] [SPEAKER_00]: savings just to cover their holiday shopping.

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[00:08:15] [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you to David.

[00:08:17] [SPEAKER_00]: So simple to check in and see how we're doing,

[00:08:20] [SPEAKER_00]: but how often do we actually do it?

[00:08:23] [SPEAKER_00]: If you're like most people, when someone asks,

[00:08:25] [SPEAKER_00]: how are you?

[00:08:26] [SPEAKER_00]: You give the quick answer, good.

[00:08:29] [SPEAKER_00]: But it's nice to see David reminding us to create space to actually talk about

[00:08:33] [SPEAKER_00]: how we're really doing.

[00:08:35] [SPEAKER_00]: I try to do this daily now,

[00:08:38] [SPEAKER_00]: taking a moment to see how I'm actually feeling and what I might need.

[00:08:41] [SPEAKER_00]: It's become an important practice for me.

[00:08:44] [SPEAKER_00]: And that involves checking in with my body,

[00:08:47] [SPEAKER_00]: seeing what it might want or need.

[00:08:49] [SPEAKER_00]: So basically what physically I feel like I need.

[00:08:52] [SPEAKER_00]: Then my intellectual side.

[00:08:54] [SPEAKER_00]: Also my emotional side.

[00:08:56] [SPEAKER_00]: And then seeing what the best version of me would want to do today.

[00:09:00] [SPEAKER_00]: So maybe we can try this today and take David up on that invitation.

[00:09:04] [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe check in with ourselves,

[00:09:06] [SPEAKER_00]: see how we're really doing.

[00:09:08] [SPEAKER_00]: Man, talk to someone about it.

[00:09:09] [SPEAKER_00]: If you're going through something difficult this holiday season,

[00:09:12] [SPEAKER_00]: know that you're definitely not alone.

[00:09:14] [SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes just acknowledging that can make a difference.

[00:09:18] [SPEAKER_00]: And you can let me know.

[00:09:19] [SPEAKER_00]: You can always reach out through oldpodcast.com

[00:09:22] [SPEAKER_00]: or by replying to my weekly newsletter,

[00:09:24] [SPEAKER_00]: which you can also find at oldpodcast.com.

[00:09:27] [SPEAKER_00]: I read every reply.

[00:09:28] [SPEAKER_00]: But with that,

[00:09:29] [SPEAKER_00]: I hope you have a great rest of your day and holiday season.

[00:09:32] [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for listening.

[00:09:33] [SPEAKER_00]: And I'll see you tomorrow where your optimal life awaits.