3436: This is KEY to Crafting the Life You Want by Krista O'Reilly-Davi-Digui on Personal Development

[00:00:00] [SPEAKER_00]: Before we start, please check out our new podcast, Good Sleep. Have you ever noticed how a calm mind can really set the stage for a good night's sleep? That's the idea behind our new podcast, Good Sleep. Greg, our host from Optimal Relationships Daily, is here to help ease you into a peaceful night's rest with some positive affirmations. And these affirmations aren't just comforting, they can help ease anxiety and nurture positive thoughts, setting you up for true good sleep.

[00:00:25] [SPEAKER_00]: So press play on Good Sleep tonight because a good tomorrow starts with a good night's sleep. Just search for Good Sleep in your podcast app and be sure to pick the one from Optimal Living Daily.

[00:00:38] [SPEAKER_00]: This is Optimal Living Daily. This is KEY to Crafting the Life You Want by Krista OReilly-Davi-Digui of AlifeInProgress.ca. And I'm Justin Malik, your personal narrator, reading to you every single day of the year with permission from the authors, kind of like an audiobook,

[00:00:55] [SPEAKER_00]: but kind of not. It's a lot shorter than an audiobook, and I bring you one article every day of the year. This is one of a few shows where we do that. You can search for Optimal Living Daily wherever you're hearing this to find all of our shows. And with that, let's get right to it as we optimize your life.

[00:01:15] [SPEAKER_00]: This is KEY to Crafting the Life You Want by Krista OReilly-Davi-Digui of AlifeInProgress.ca.

[00:01:23] [SPEAKER_00]: Do the work. Keep trying. Get your hands dirty. Do all or something. Take imperfect action. Build a growth mindset. Ask for help if you need it. Learn to sit with discomfort. Take two steps forward, one step back. Do it scared and aware there is much you don't know. Pick yourself up should you fall. Stay out of comparison, but do the work.

[00:01:51] [SPEAKER_00]: There are no magic pills. No collect $200 in advance to go. No bypassing the fact that if we say we want something, a good relationship with our kids, a thriving soul-centered business, a healthy body, a decluttered home, we must show up and do the work.

[00:02:09] [SPEAKER_00]: This is the key to crafting the life you want. Do the work.

[00:02:14] [SPEAKER_00]: How we spend our days is how we spend our lives. Annie Dillard wisely writes that, quote,

[00:02:21] [SPEAKER_00]: How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives, end quote.

[00:02:26] [SPEAKER_00]: Not everything is for this season. And this truth, I believe, is critical to remember, especially for those of us who desire slower, simpler lives.

[00:02:35] [SPEAKER_00]: Yet crafting the life you want, whatever the season, requires work. Getting clear on who and how we want to be, how we choose to spend our time, talents, and resources, requires some work.

[00:02:49] [SPEAKER_00]: Building anything of value requires deliberate action and likely some stress.

[00:02:55] [SPEAKER_00]: Moving against status quo or staying focused on your top values and priorities involves effort.

[00:03:01] [SPEAKER_00]: And this day matters. All my todays add up to my tomorrow. It's basic math.

[00:03:08] [SPEAKER_00]: Talking about your vision is not the same as doing the work.

[00:03:13] [SPEAKER_00]: Dreaming and filling in goal worksheets as much as I adore them, or listening to podcasts, delightful and often useful, but not the same as actually getting your hands messy.

[00:03:23] [SPEAKER_00]: There is no need for perfection, and you don't have to race. You don't need to impress anyone else or make them approve.

[00:03:30] [SPEAKER_00]: This is about you and what you want. We build our lives brick by brick.

[00:03:36] [SPEAKER_00]: So let's build intentionally.

[00:03:38] [SPEAKER_00]: Your personality comes into play as you build the life you want.

[00:03:43] [SPEAKER_00]: As a master procrastinator with a mean inner critic, I know this to be true.

[00:03:49] [SPEAKER_00]: Personality comes into play.

[00:03:50] [SPEAKER_00]: Some of us are wired to be more cautious, hard on ourselves, to see all the flaws and give up before we start, just in case we fail or are rejected.

[00:04:01] [SPEAKER_00]: I've learned to just show up.

[00:04:04] [SPEAKER_00]: I've taught myself to offer myself heaps of compassion, take days off as needed to climb under the covers, but to not settle for staying permanently stuck.

[00:04:14] [SPEAKER_00]: I've learned that I'm not a failure because I struggle, and I don't have to look like or do life like anyone else.

[00:04:21] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't have to be great at anything.

[00:04:23] [SPEAKER_00]: I just have to carve my own path.

[00:04:26] [SPEAKER_00]: And I've learned that I'm stronger and more resilient than I used to believe.

[00:04:30] [SPEAKER_00]: I learned this by taking one faltering, wobbly step after another.

[00:04:35] [SPEAKER_00]: I am doing the work.

[00:04:38] [SPEAKER_00]: We all meet with resistance of one kind or another.

[00:04:41] [SPEAKER_00]: We have a tendency to self-sabotage.

[00:04:44] [SPEAKER_00]: You may struggle with people-pleasing or trying to look good for others or trying to do all the things.

[00:04:49] [SPEAKER_00]: Your best friend may be a go-getter.

[00:04:52] [SPEAKER_00]: She's brave and audacious, but also impetuous and scattered.

[00:04:56] [SPEAKER_00]: Some of us live with anxiety and crash and burn if we don't guard our mental and physical health carefully.

[00:05:02] [SPEAKER_00]: A friend of mine continually doubts her worth and has a hard time recognizing her gifts despite past accomplishments.

[00:05:09] [SPEAKER_00]: Whatever your personality, you are offered the same choice as I am to show up,

[00:05:14] [SPEAKER_00]: get honest about who you are and the reality of your circumstances,

[00:05:18] [SPEAKER_00]: about all your fears and insecurities and what you want out of life,

[00:05:23] [SPEAKER_00]: and do the work to craft the life you want.

[00:05:26] [SPEAKER_00]: You can go slow.

[00:05:27] [SPEAKER_00]: You can fall off course.

[00:05:29] [SPEAKER_00]: You can be messy and imperfect and afraid.

[00:05:32] [SPEAKER_00]: You can make mistakes or do a bad job,

[00:05:35] [SPEAKER_00]: change your mind,

[00:05:36] [SPEAKER_00]: and walk through seasons that are so hard and dark you aren't sure you'll ever make it through.

[00:05:42] [SPEAKER_00]: Keep showing up one small step and then another.

[00:05:46] [SPEAKER_00]: Everything desirable involves a measure of stress.

[00:05:50] [SPEAKER_00]: If you want to be a writer, sit down in the chair and write.

[00:05:53] [SPEAKER_00]: Write a bunch of f***y first drafts, as Anne Lamott calls them.

[00:05:57] [SPEAKER_00]: Accept rejection.

[00:05:59] [SPEAKER_00]: Spend more time creating than watching what others are up to.

[00:06:02] [SPEAKER_00]: Be you.

[00:06:04] [SPEAKER_00]: Stop comparing your beginning to someone else's middle.

[00:06:07] [SPEAKER_00]: If you want a more connected relationship with your spouse,

[00:06:10] [SPEAKER_00]: make a date and get out talking.

[00:06:12] [SPEAKER_00]: Remember that not every argument means divorce.

[00:06:15] [SPEAKER_00]: Offer an affirming word.

[00:06:17] [SPEAKER_00]: Make a bid for connection.

[00:06:19] [SPEAKER_00]: Laugh together.

[00:06:20] [SPEAKER_00]: Practice vulnerability.

[00:06:22] [SPEAKER_00]: Forgive.

[00:06:22] [SPEAKER_00]: If you want to build a happy family, bake blueberry muffins.

[00:06:26] [SPEAKER_00]: Listen when your teen keeps you up too late sharing his heart.

[00:06:29] [SPEAKER_00]: Read that storybook again and again.

[00:06:32] [SPEAKER_00]: Care about what your kids are excited about.

[00:06:35] [SPEAKER_00]: Drive her to piano lessons.

[00:06:37] [SPEAKER_00]: Practice loving when it doesn't feel easy.

[00:06:39] [SPEAKER_00]: If you hate the anxiety of living in debt,

[00:06:42] [SPEAKER_00]: craft your budget and follow it when you head to the store.

[00:06:45] [SPEAKER_00]: Make mistakes, but don't let them become a pattern.

[00:06:48] [SPEAKER_00]: Find friends who share your values.

[00:06:50] [SPEAKER_00]: Create money dates with your partner.

[00:06:54] [SPEAKER_00]: Learn ways to meet your emotional needs that don't involve shopping.

[00:06:57] [SPEAKER_00]: If you want to make friends, put pants on and get out to a local community event.

[00:07:01] [SPEAKER_00]: Be friendly.

[00:07:03] [SPEAKER_00]: Offer that which you need.

[00:07:04] [SPEAKER_00]: Ask good questions and listen well.

[00:07:08] [SPEAKER_00]: Be real instead of playing the chameleon.

[00:07:10] [SPEAKER_00]: You want people to like the real you.

[00:07:12] [SPEAKER_00]: Be patient.

[00:07:14] [SPEAKER_00]: Growing friendships takes time.

[00:07:16] [SPEAKER_00]: If you want to feel healthier,

[00:07:17] [SPEAKER_00]: make one meal today that supports your health.

[00:07:20] [SPEAKER_00]: Make a menu plan and shop with a list.

[00:07:23] [SPEAKER_00]: Borrow inspiring cookbooks.

[00:07:25] [SPEAKER_00]: Keep it simple.

[00:07:26] [SPEAKER_00]: Eat more color.

[00:07:28] [SPEAKER_00]: Get rid of the foods in the house that call you to binging.

[00:07:31] [SPEAKER_00]: Focus on adding in healthy habits versus creating a sense of restriction.

[00:07:36] [SPEAKER_00]: Whatever it is that you most desire, do the work.

[00:07:40] [SPEAKER_00]: Ditch the all-or-nothing lie that holds you back and keeps you stuck.

[00:07:44] [SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't mean it's easy.

[00:07:45] [SPEAKER_00]: It means it's worthwhile.

[00:07:48] [SPEAKER_00]: Make it easier in time.

[00:07:50] [SPEAKER_00]: Practice.

[00:07:51] [SPEAKER_00]: Work at your craft.

[00:07:52] [SPEAKER_00]: Or pick away at your dreams.

[00:07:54] [SPEAKER_00]: When you grow tired, learn to rest and not quit.

[00:07:57] [SPEAKER_00]: Break down your goal into bite-sized steps.

[00:08:01] [SPEAKER_00]: When it feels really hard, just breathe.

[00:08:04] [SPEAKER_00]: Take the longer view.

[00:08:05] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't have a perfect life or body or marriage or business.

[00:08:10] [SPEAKER_00]: And I don't need perfect.

[00:08:12] [SPEAKER_00]: What I need and want is to live on purpose.

[00:08:16] [SPEAKER_00]: I see my life as a work of art and weave it together thread by thread intentionally.

[00:08:23] [SPEAKER_00]: Often afraid.

[00:08:24] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm simply doing the messy work.

[00:08:27] [SPEAKER_00]: This is key.

[00:08:28] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm cheering you onward as you craft the life you want.

[00:08:36] [SPEAKER_00]: You just listened to the post titled,

[00:08:38] [SPEAKER_00]: This is key to crafting the life you want,

[00:08:41] [SPEAKER_00]: by Krista O'Reilly Davidegui of alifeinprogress.ca.

[00:08:45] [SPEAKER_00]: And I'll be right back with my commentary.

[00:08:47] [SPEAKER_00]: Look, I'm sure there's someone in all our circles who had to dip into their emergency

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[00:09:53] [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you to Krista.

[00:09:54] [SPEAKER_00]: This one reminded me of a quote I put into the Optimal Living Daily weekly newsletter a little

[00:09:59] [SPEAKER_00]: while back that really stuck with me.

[00:10:02] [SPEAKER_00]: Alain Massicott said, quote,

[00:10:04] [SPEAKER_00]: Success equals doing stuff.

[00:10:07] [SPEAKER_00]: Go figure.

[00:10:08] [SPEAKER_00]: End quote.

[00:10:09] [SPEAKER_00]: And a similar message today from Krista.

[00:10:11] [SPEAKER_00]: I was going to physical therapy for a bit.

[00:10:13] [SPEAKER_00]: And if you're familiar with the industry,

[00:10:15] [SPEAKER_00]: you might laugh at this idea that I thought going in would be sort of enough.

[00:10:21] [SPEAKER_00]: They would do the things that I need to get through physical therapy and then my problem

[00:10:25] [SPEAKER_00]: would be solved.

[00:10:26] [SPEAKER_00]: But that's not at all how it works.

[00:10:28] [SPEAKER_00]: There's a lot of homework and habits that need to be built.

[00:10:32] [SPEAKER_00]: Otherwise, I'll probably end up right back there again.

[00:10:35] [SPEAKER_00]: And this is true for most things.

[00:10:37] [SPEAKER_00]: Going to school, that's just part of it.

[00:10:40] [SPEAKER_00]: Homework and studying is a massive part of that too.

[00:10:44] [SPEAKER_00]: Doing our jobs well, actually putting the effort in,

[00:10:47] [SPEAKER_00]: we have to show up every day and do the work.

[00:10:51] [SPEAKER_00]: Exercise, diet, you name it,

[00:10:53] [SPEAKER_00]: it all requires showing up and doing the work,

[00:10:56] [SPEAKER_00]: not trying to skate by and do the bare minimum.

[00:10:59] [SPEAKER_00]: Now that's not to say that we need to be on all the time and never taking a break.

[00:11:04] [SPEAKER_00]: Just like I mentioned yesterday, balance and moderation are key.

[00:11:08] [SPEAKER_00]: But if we both did just 10% more of showing up today,

[00:11:12] [SPEAKER_00]: that would likely be a huge improvement.

[00:11:15] [SPEAKER_00]: So think about where you can give that extra 10%.

[00:11:18] [SPEAKER_00]: I'll do the same.

[00:11:20] [SPEAKER_00]: And with that, hope you have a happy and productive day.

[00:11:22] [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for being here and listening every day.

[00:11:24] [SPEAKER_00]: And I'll be back tomorrow where your optimal life upweights.